Steven Universe Reviews: Season 1 (Onion Trade/Steven the Sword Fighter)

The episode begins with Steven looking for one of his G.U.Y.S, which has nothing to do with the Lady Gaga song. It stands for “guys under your supervision”, they’re a range of toys that Steven collects. He’s looking for his favorite, Ranger Guy, but he can’t find it anywhere. He tells Greg about it, thinking that Greg will be upset, but Greg doesn’t seem to mind. Steven explains that this particular toy was from “our special day at the beach last summer? You bought him for me at the end of the day. He was one of a kind. He had a miscolored hat, how could you not remember?” Greg doesn’t remember, apparently, but when he sees how upset Steven is about it, he gives him a bag of quarters so he can buy another Ranger Guy.

It turns out G.U.Y.S are bought from a toy vending machine. Steven spends all of his quarters, but he doesn’t get a single Ranger Guy. He just gets a bunch of Dave Guys, which he says is the worst one. Yeah, it’s always like that with those things. You never get the one that you want. Anyway, he then sees Onion (what is Onion exactly? He’s so weird looking??) with a Ranger Guy. Onion is sitting waiting for his dad when Steven shows up and asks him if he’d like to trade his Ranger Guy for a Dave Guy. Onion refuses and asks for more, so Steven offers him a bag full of Dave Guys, but it’s not enough for Onion. Steven goes back home, trying to figure out a way to get more G.U.Y.S to trade with Onion. Amethyst gives Steven Pearl’s Replicator Wand so that he can makes copies of more Dave Guys.

However, Onion wants the Replicator Wand instead. Steven makes the trade, and quickly regrets it when Onion starts terrorizing the city by flooding it with Dave Guys created by the Replicator Wand,

The Gems try to convince Onion to drop the wand without success, but Steven is able to jump on Onion and cause him to drop the wand. He realizes that Onion had stolen his Ranger Guy to begin with and in the end, lets him keep it because he realizes all Onion does is “sit around and wait for his dad” and that he’s stolen the toy because he was lonely and bored. Garnet destroys the Replicator Wand, which causes all of the replicated items to disappear. As the Gems walk home, Greg approaches Steven and asks him why he went through all that trouble for a toy. Steven responds that he wanted it for the memories, but then says that he now has “new memories — horrible, horrible memories”.

Right, so, Onion being lonely and bored explains why he stole Steven’s Ranger Guy. Sort of. Ish. What it doesn’t explain is why he then TERRORIZED THE CITY AND TRIED TO KILL THE GEMS

Onion is very odd and I’m not entirely sure what to do with his character, which seems to be the point. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be human or not. Again, what even is Onion? I have a feeling he’ll end up being really important in some later episode. Right now he’s just kind of a weird and vaguely intriguing minor character.

This episode made me feel sort of nostalgic, because I can remember collecting toys like Steven did. I also remember how it felt when those toys went missing or were stolen (someone stole a bunch of Pokemon cards from me when I was a kid and I’m still not over it). I can sort of relate to a lot of what Steven does or goes through in this episode. Losing a favorite toy, being unable to get that toy again no matter how hard you try, feeling like it wouldn’t really be the same anyway because in the end it’s not so much about the toy as about the memories associated with it. Aside from the Replicator Wand and everything that happened with it, this episode feels really… real.

One last thing, I’d like to draw your attention to this exchange between Steven and his dad:

• Steven: I…lost something. Something precious.
• Greg: *gasp* Your innocence?!

Greg wtf

Rating: 7/10

Steven and the Gems are watching a Japanese movie called “Lonely Blade IV”, which Pearl doesn’t seem to be enjoying very much. She says that the sword techniques used in the film are not real or practical, and she offers to show Steven some real sword-fighting. Turns out Steven is very excited by this offer, so they set off right away.

Pearl creates a hologram of herself that acts as a training dummy, and she begins her demonstration.

I’m posting a clip of it because, well, I like Pearl’s demonstration. I like the fluidity and gracefulness of Pearl’s fighting style, how it looks almost dance-like. I’ve noticed that a lot of characters I like tend to have fighting styles like that, I suppose I have a type. The background music is nice too, it’s very fitting.

Steven is impressed by the demonstration and asks Pearl to teach him, so she commands holo!Pearl to go to training mode. She starts showing Steven some basic moves but he quickly becomes bored and wants her to teach him some of the moves from Lonely Blade IV. Pearl angrily tells Steven that those aren’t real moves, and while she’s distracted the hologram stabs her.

Trust nobody not even yourself

Everyone is horrified as Pearl disappears, leaving only her gem behind. Steven cries that it’s his fault, but Garnet and Amethyst assure him that Pearl will be okay. Apparently, if a gem’s physical form is damaged, they can retreat into their gems to recover and will eventually reappear fully formed. That’s interesting, I suppose a gem only truly dies if their gem is damaged in some way? Also, another question: it seems very impractical to me to have a training dummy that is actually capable of killing someone. Okay wait that wasn’t actually a question. But yeah, isn’t Pearl the one always fretting about safety, at least when it comes to Steven? So why have a training dummy that is actually capable of killing someone? There, that was a question. I guess Pearl wasn’t really expecting Steven to fight the hologram and she’s probably confident enough in her skill (with good reason) that she wouldn’t expect to lose. Still, it would have been smarter to at least give it a fake sword or something so it won’t do any real damage, right?

I’m getting off track now, where was I? Right, Pearl just got stabbed and she’s reforming in her gem.

Pearl takes weeks to reform and Steven misses her terribly, so he starts hanging out with holo!Pearl (which, oddly, did not disappear along with the real Pearl). Holo!Pearl is nothing like actual Pearl, however, and when Steven loses his temper at it one day he accidentally activates holo!Pearl’s fighting, which quickly goes from “basic mode” to “advance mode”. Steven narrowly avoids being killed by holo!Pearl and eventually manages to defeat it. Soon after this, Pearl reemerges from her gem, unscathed and with a new outfit.

This is an interesting episode. I like learning more about the Gems and their powers, and it’s nice to know a little more about how that immortality thing works. It’s a also a weirdly… well, maybe not “dark” but certainly not lighthearted. I mean, Pearl is effectively dead for most of the episode and Amethyst even comments on how she’s taking an abnormally long time to reform. We even see Pearl get impaled with the sword. There’s no blood, of course, but still, I was a little surprised that they actually showed it.

Overall I liked this episode a lot, it’s an interesting insight into how gems work, holo!Pearl is both funny and creepy, and I liked seeing how important Pearl is to Steven.

You know what’s odd about this episode, though? The title of it is “Steven the Sword Fighter” but Steven never does any actual sword fighting in this episode. He never even holds a sword.

Rating: 8/10

Steven Universe Reviews: Season 1 (So Many Birthdays/Lars and the Cool Kids)

After Steven discovers some photos of the Gems (including his mother, Rose Quartz) that are hundreds of years old, Pearl explains to him that gems are immortal. At least, they’re immortal in the sense that they won’t age and they won’t die naturally, but they can be killed. She also tells Steven that they don’t really celebrate birthdays, which shocks him. He insists on throwing birthday parties for all of them, despite Pearl’s protests. It doesn’t go quite as planned, however, since the Gems have a hard time understanding human customs to begin with and they’re too mature for a lot of the things Steven planned. This causes Steven to reflect on whether he himself is too old for all of these birthday traditions, and as he does so he starts to age rapidly until he is an old man on the brink of death. The Gems, upon finding him, try to return him back to normal, but end up arguing over the right way to do it. Steven scolds them for arguing and becomes younger as he speaks. They realize that Steven’s gem is reacting to his state of mind and they assure him that he does not need to force himself to grow up too quickly. Finally, Steven manages to return to normal.

This episode starts out lighthearted and funny, and then it gets weird and kind of dark.

First let’s point out some of the funny stuff, namely this scene:

God, Pearl is adorable here. She looks so distraught when she says, “Steven, are you telling lies?” I also love the disgusted look on Amethyst’s face.

Toward the end of the episode is when things start to get less lighthearted. It’s kind of disturbing watching Steven age like sixty years in the span of a few minutes, and seeing him almost at the end of his life when he’s supposed to be a kid. The Gems’ desperation and hopelessness doesn’t help. Seeing Pearl cry was especially sad for me. Pearl is too cute, I never want to see her cry.

This does raise some questions about Steven’s mortality, though. He can age, unlike the Gems, because he’s half-human, and presumably he would be able to die in ways that they can’t (food poisoning, for example). However, Steven’s Gem was affected by Steven’s mental state in this episode and aged him accordingly. If Steven always feels like a kid, will he always stay a kid? That’s actually kind of creepy, but then again immortality in any form has always been a little creepy to me.

Anyway, interesting episode overall, and probably the first one that’s made me think “This is a kids show, right?” in the same way Adventure Time used to.

Rating: 7.5/10

Because every kids show needs to have an episode about peer pressure and popularity, right?

We begin the episode with Steven and the Gems visiting a lagoon filled with dangerous, fast-growing, clinging moss that’s basically like Devil’s Snare in moss form. Apparently Rose planted it, because despite how dangerous it was she saw beauty in everything. The Gems put some police tape around the lagoon to prevent humans from wandering in.

Later, Steven runs into Lars, that asshole teenager who’s always picking on Steven even though Steven is never anything but friendly to him. Lars is apparently waiting for some “cool kids” to notice him. The cool kids are Jenny, who appears to be their leader, Buck Dewey and Sour Cream. When the cool kids leave without noticing Lars, Steven goes up to them (despite Lars’ protests) and starts talking to them. Apparently the cool kids like Steven, so they invite him and Lars to go for a ride with them.

Lars keeps trying way too hard to get the others to like him, resulting in them not taking to him. Lars keeps blaming Steven for his failure. Steven, on the other hand, is just being his offbeat self, so they take to him much more readily. At least until they get to the lagoon, where Steven warns them that they shouldn’t go in. Lars and the other laugh him off and enter the lagoon. Steven manages to restrain Lars but the others go into the moss and are immediately overtaken by it, which leads to one of my favorite moments so far.

• Steven: *gasps and notices hill in background* Lars, I know what we have to do.
• Lars: *ignores him* This is all your fault! *sighs, tears up* I knew if something went wrong today it would be because of you! Now I’m never going to be friends with these guys. All because of your…weird mom!
• (Steven’s eyes narrow in shock, and partially in rage, his posture and expressions become extremely aggressive, Lars backs off in surprise)
• Steven: *pokes at Lars’ chest* What do you know about my Mom?! I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KNOW MY MOM! But I do know, she saw beauty in everything! Even in stuff like this *points at moss* and even in jerks like you! *Lars looks away ashamedly, Steven sighs* Now help me get them to the car.

I love this, not only for how the way-too-nice Steven calls out Lars for being a jerk, but for what Steven says about his mom. Whenever Rose Quartz is spoken about on this show, especially when being it’s being said to Steven, there’s always this sort of reverence and wistfulness to it. It’s clear that everyone loved and admired her, and Steven seems to realize how important Rose was to everyone. However, Steven himself never knew Rose. He’s learned about her from other people, but no matter how much people talk about her, he has never and will never really know her. I loved getting this little emotional outburst from Steven, it gives a little insight to how difficult his feelings for his mom must be.

So, Lars and Steven grab the others and make their way up the hill.  As the sun rises over the hill, the moss blooms into beautiful flowers that drift away. The cool kids are impressed, and Steven tells them that it was all Lars’ idea. So Lars gains their approval after all.

Lars. Let’s talk about this asshole. I actually like the character, at the moment at least. He’s sort of like Lumpy Space Princess or Zapp Brannigan in that he’s not likable but he’s such an exaggerated character that I can’t help finding him funny. Plus, I think it kind of helps that Lars is actually really pathetic so his bullying is rendered ineffective most of the time. Not that that makes it excusable, but it does make it easier to tolerate from an audience perspective. I don’t know, maybe Lars will grate on me in later episodes, I do feel like he’s a character I don’t want to see too much of, but right now I find him amusing.

I also want to talk about his relationship with Steven, though. Steven is obviously like Rose in at least one way: he also wants to see the good in everything and everyone. Even people like Lars, who Steven is unfailingly friendly to. Lars clearly knows he can advantage of Steven because of this. He’s constantly teasing Steven and is really quite mean to him, but Steven either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. However, I think Lars has gotten so used to getting away with anything where Steven in concerned that he didn’t realize that yeah, he can eventually cross a line even with Steven. That comment about Rose Quartz did cross a line with Steven, and Lars is obviously surprised by the reaction. This is a pretty common relationship dynamic, actually. If one person is able to get away with a lot, they’ll start getting bolder and pushing their luck, and then one day they push it too far and they’re surprised to find that the other person does in fact have limits.

I liked this episode a lot, I liked seeing some vulnerability from both Steven and Lars (the guy is obviously really insecure despite his attitude), and of course there’s the obvious message about how trying too hard to fit in is never a good idea. It’s an obvious message, but it is still a good one for kids.

Rating: 8.5/10