SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Big Sister Sam/Perfect Chemistry)

Patrick’s older sister Sam – wait, what? Patrick has a sister? This is news to me. Anyway, she comes to visit and she turns out to be a brutish cave woman who can barely form complete sentences and makes Patrick look like a genius. She constantly loses her temper and attacks SpongeBob and Squidward. And she destroys their houses. And Patrick refuses to hear a word against Sam and acts as though there’s nothing wrong with her behavior. It’s going to be one of those episodes, eh? Sigh. Eventually Patrick does realize that Sam’s temper is out of control and tells her to calm her shit (well, in a nicer way that that), so Sam attacks him. Seeing that she injured her brother, Sam is distressed. Patrick turns out to be okay, but Sam decides to leave.

Okay, so this episode has both SpongeBob and Squidward Abuse (though to be fair it’s pretty mild), an unlikable one-time character with a design that’s unpleasant to look at, and Patrick is annoyingly oblivious up until the end.

SpongeBob and Squidward were pretty much this episode’s saving graces. I like that Squidward was unwilling to take Sam’s behavior lying down and kept trying to stand up to her. Not the smartest move given that Sam obviously has physical strength far greater than Squidward, but I have to admire his tenacity. Squidward can actually be a bit of a bad ass, which is partly why I love him so much. I just love that he’ll get sassy with anyone no matter what it costs him. As for SpongeBob, I liked how he was just doing his best to keep everyone calm and happy throughout the episode. He tries to play the role of peace-keeper and fails miserably, but it’s pretty amusing to watch and I admire his effort anyway. He and Squidward were a fun duo in this episode, their different mindsets played off each other nicely and made for some funny moments between the two.

In the end, I can’t bring myself to hate this episode too much, since I did really like certain things about it. The episode is still pretty bad, though. Sam and Patrick are both really unlikable here and the humor was rather weak. Not to mention Patrick having a sister came out of nowhere.

Rating: 3.5/10

Sandy is working on a teleportation device while Plankton is working on a device that turns him into a gas so he can slip into the Krusty Krab with ease. Plankton’s experiment doesn’t go as planned. He gets blown out of the restaurant by Mr. Krabs’ fan and ends up at Sandy’s house. Sandy is impressed that Plankton managed to turn himself into a gas and by his scientific prowess. She asks him to take a look at her own failed invention and Plankton realizes that he can use the teleporter to help him with his own experiment. The two agree to help with each other’s inventions and head over to Plankton’s lab. Using SpongeBob as their guinea pig, they combine their devices and test them on SpongeBob, trying to teleport him as a gas to the Krusty Krab. Eventually they succeed, and Plankton takes control of their invention, using it to teleport himself to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is upset that Plankton has finally won, but Sandy reveals that she knew all along that Plankton would try to double-cross her, so she rigged the machine to teleport the formula to herself.

Oh, how I love the idea of this episode. Interaction between Sandy and Plankton is something we’ve never seen, except briefly in Someone’s in the Kitchen With Sandy, and I love it when the writers experiment with character interactions/dynamics. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t made an episode like this before now. If you’re going to randomly make Sandy a scientist, it would make sense to give her at least one episode with the other scientist on the show, Plankton. I loved Sandy and Plankton’s interactions in this episode. They didn’t make me laugh out loud much, at most they made me chuckle, but sometimes characters don’t necessarily need to make me laugh. Sometimes I just like to watch the characters’ personalities work off each other. Sandy and Plankton work off each other interestingly. Both are quirky geniuses with a passion for science, but Sandy’s friendly and cheerful disposition contrasts with Plankton’s not-so-friendly-and-cheerful disposition in an amusing way (Sandy’s failed attempt at an evil laugh was a great touch).

A common complaint about this episode is all of the fart jokes in it. Yeah, those got on my nerves too. I don’t mind a fart joke every now and then. They’re childish, sure, but I can put up with them. But when they’re this excessive it gets really old. I wish I could say that they’re easy to ignore, but they’re not. They’re pretty much constant throughout the episode, which is why I will have to dock a few points from it.

I also had a slight issue with the ending. Having Sandy come out and say she had been prepared for Plankton’s double-cross the entire time felt like a deus ex machina. I could understood Sandy being cautious, but that felt like a really contrived way to resolve the episode. I’m beginning to notice a slight problem with how Sandy’s character is being used, but I’ll talk about that in my Season 7 overview.

Despite these flaws, I do like Perfect Chemistry a lot. Sandy and Plankton’s interactions were gold and they really made this episode for me.

Rating: 7.5/10

And so ends Season 7! Hopefully I’ll have my Season 7 overview posted tomorrow, but it will more likely be posted later this week. I’m a busy woman.

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (New Fish in Town/Love That Squid)

Patrick is renting out his yard for some extra money, and he asks Squidward to keep an eye out for any takers while he and SpongeBob are jellyfishing. Of course Squidward has no interest in doing such a thing, but then a fish does show up with a mobile home to rent out Patrick’s yard. The fish introduces himself as Howard, and at first Squidward wants to be rid of him. Then he finds out that Howard has the same interests as him, so Squidward befriends him. Howard says that the two things he can’t stand are jellyfishers and bubble blowers, so Squidward does his best to keep SpongeBob and Patrick away from Howard, going to some pretty extreme lengths. Like pushing their houses off a cliff. You know, sometimes I think Squidward is more psychotic than people give him credit for. Anyway, Howard eventually sees SpongeBob and Patrick blowing bubbles and playing with a jellyfish, which sets him off. About to give SpongeBob and Patrick a piece of his mind, he suddenly finds himself enjoying bubble blowing and jellyfishing. This convinces Squidward that Howard isn’t someone he can be friends with, so he removes the block from behind Howard’s mobile home and it goes rolling off the cliff. Yeah, Squidward definitely has a few screws loose in his head.

Honestly this episode almost put me to sleep. I found it really boring.

It’s not a bad idea for an episode, I guess. Squidward makes a new friend and doesn’t want said friend to meet SpongeBob and Patrick. It sounds like it could be funny. Unfortunately it wasn’t. Besides the running gag with the cliff, which admittedly I did find amusing, there weren’t that many jokes in the episode. It’s mostly just Squidward trying to keep Howard from hearing SpongeBob and Patrick outside (which mostly involves some uninteresting visual gags), or it’s just Squidward and Howard talking. And their interactions aren’t that interesting, mainly due to how boring Howard is. I guess Howard being boring was sort of the point, but couldn’t they have given him at least a little spunk or something to make him less bland? I think the reason I found him so boring was his voice. It’s so monotone and it’s really annoying to listen to. Again, I guess that was the point, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on the episode, but it was just a snore-fest for me.

Rating: 2/10

A squid named Squilvia comes to the Krusty Krab and Squidward develops a crush on her. He’s too nervous to talk to her, though, so SpongeBob talks to her for him, telling her all kinds of great things about Squidward. Squilvia agrees to go out with Squidward, but now Squidward is afraid the date won’t go well. So SpongeBob suggests they go on a “practice date”. It goes about as well as you would expect. At the end of the “practice date” Squidward loses his temper and yells at SpongeBob, not knowing that Squilvia is right behind him and can hear everything he’s saying. Squidward is convinced that Squilvia now hates him and doesn’t want to go out with him, but Squilvia says that she actually likes guys who won’t put up with stupidity and still wants to go out with him.

I liked this episode more than I thought I would. Despite how my weird shipping habits make it look, romance usually bores me, so when I found out what the plot of this episode was I immediately became uninterested in it. Not that I can never enjoy romance. For some reason I adore Plankton/Karen episodes (Single Cell Anniversary ftw) and I like Krusty Love, and there are other romance-centered stories outside this show that I like, but the majority of the time I can’t stand romance. It has to be a really well done romance (or just a really funny romance like Plankton/Karen) for me to get into it.

That being said, I was pleased to see that the episode isn’t as romance-centered as I’d thought it would be. You don’t even see Squidward and Squilvia go on their date, most of the episode is focused on the practice date with SpongeBob and Squidward. And it’s actually pretty funny. It’s probably one of the funniest SpongeBob-Squidward interactions the show has had in a while and it was really enjoyable to watch. The way SpongeBob looked when dressed as Squilvia and Squidward’s horrified reaction to it was especially hilarious to me.

But who are we kidding? Obviously this episode should have been about Squidiam.

Oh yeah. That’s hot.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Krusty Dogs/The Wreck of Mauna Loa)

There’s no new RWBY episode this week, so here’s a SpongeBob review instead.

SpongeBob makes a hot dog out of leftover Krabby Patty ingredients and they seem to be popular with the customers. Mr. Krabs puts “Krusty Dogs” on the menu and they quickly become more popular than Krabby Patties, so Mr. Krabs takes Patties off the menu. SpongeBob is upset about this and wants to get rid of Krusty Dogs so that Krabby Patties can come back. Since Squidward has been given the humiliating job of dressing as a Krusty Dog and standing outside the restaurant to promote them, he agrees to help SpongeBob get rid of the Krusty Dogs. They try telling the customers that the Krusty Dogs will make them sick, but the customers apparently aren’t concerned for their health. So, SpongeBob makes an exploding Krusty Dog. The disgruntled customers leave the restaurant, prompting Mr. Krabs to put Krabby Patties back on the menu.

My God, this episode was basically one big That’s What She Said joke. See, they don’t actually refer to the Krusty Dogs by their name most of the time. They usually refer to them as “wieners”. And if you think I’m overreacting or trying too hard to make the show dirtier than it is (which some people do), just take a look at this:

No way does anyone write dialogue like that without having sexual innuendo in mind. No way can you have a character talk about wieners blowing up in people’s faces without thinking dirty. Same goes for that “12 inches of deliciousness” line from one of the customers.

I love it when the writers slip in dirty jokes, but when they’re this forced and this excessive it’s kind of awkward.

The innuendo overshadows everything else in the episode, to be honest. When I think about this episode all that comes to mind is Squidward talking about Mr. Krabs “wiener thing” blowing up in his face. Definitely not a visual I needed.

Okay, let’s just try not to think about “wieners”. Let’s try to think about the episode as a whole… oh God, don’t think about holes. Think about the episode. Okay. Um, I guess I kind of liked the idea. Mostly I like the idea of SpongeBob and Squidward working together, I wish that had been given more focus. Honestly, if you take away the innuendo, this episode is pretty boring. The jokes are kind of weak and the story is slow. The only noteworthy thing about the episode is all of the innuendo, and it’s too excessive even for my taste.

Rating: 4/10

SpongeBob and Patrick come across an abandoned ship and make it their secret hideout. Unfortunately Patrick isn’t a good secret-keeper and he lets it slip to Mr. Krabs. Krabs realizes that the ship they found is the legendary shipwreck of the Mauna Loa, which is said to contain treasure, so Mr. Krabs follows them to the hideout. There, he discovers that the ship they found is nothing more than an abandoned amusement park ride. So, Mr. Krabs fixes it (very cheaply) and charges people to ride it. Of course the ride breaks down and Krabs is arrested, and the shipwreck is closed down. SpongeBob and Patrick are upset about losing their secret hideout, but then they find the real wreck of the Mauna Loa.

Well, Krabs got what he deserved at the end of the episode. Yay, the writers are learning!

Seriously though, I kind of liked this one mainly for its simplicity, but it’s not something I’d go out of my way to watch again. I actually thought Krabs’ greed was used well here. His motivation at the beginning was understandable (who wouldn’t want treasure?) and I got some chuckles out of watching him obsessively search the ship only to be disappointed at every turn. The second half of the episode, where he “fixes” the ride, was awful of him, but I don’t mind because again I got some chuckles out of it, and it really isn’t any different from what he did in Krabby Land. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect from Krabs. Most importantly, I really am glad that Krabs got what he deserved at the end. He’s starting to become less of a Karma Houdini, which is definitely a good thing.

Rating: 6/10

 

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (You Don’t Know Sponge/Tunnel of Glove)

SpongeBob and Patrick take a “friendship quiz”, a quiz where you must answer questions about your best friend to see how well you know each other. SpongeBob answers all of the questions about Patrick correctly, but Patrick can’t get a single question about SpongeBob right. He can’t even get his gender right. Something tells me Patrick would get along well with the professors from Pokémon. This makes SpongeBob question their friendship, since Patrick appears to know nothing about SpongeBob at all. SpongeBob decides to never speak to Patrick again, but the next day he finds Patrick hanging out with Larry the Lobster, of all people. Confused and jealous, SpongeBob follows them, trying to figure out what the two could possibly be doing together. He eventually confronts them and Patrick tells SpongeBob that Larry was helping him pick out a gift for SpongeBob. Um, that still doesn’t quite explain things. Why is Larry helping him pick out a gift? Even Squidward would make more sense than Larry. Anyway, Patrick gives SpongeBob the gift and all is forgiven.

Well, the pacing and story-telling in this episode is an improvement. The conflict doesn’t take too long to set up and from there the story develops well enough. It’s a simple story, which I usually prefer, and it’s very focused on characters’ emotions and relationships. As someone who’s always far more interested in character than anything else, I like this as well.

So, from a story-telling standpoint, I quite liked this episode. Unfortunately that’s really all the episode has going for it. There were very few jokes in the episode and most of the ones it did have were not all that funny. The one joke I did laugh at was when Squidward threw his boot at SpongeBob in annoyance and then said, “There’s three more where that came from!” Yeah, that made me laugh, but even that doesn’t quite make sense. Since when does Squidward wear boots? The guy doesn’t even wear pants.

Even the story, though I liked it for the most part, fell apart for me a bit at the end. I don’t like the resolution. Everything is forgiven because Patrick buys SpongeBob a random gift? If the gift was something that SpongeBob has always wanted, it might have worked, but there’s no hint that the gift Patrick gave him was anything SpongeBob had a particular desire for. It was just a random gift. Um, how does that resolve the whole Patrick-knows-nothing-about-SpongeBob conflict? Patrick wasn’t even aware that SpongeBob was mad at him to begin with, so how is this a good resolution? I guess the point was to show that even if Patrick can’t remember much about SpongeBob due to his extreme stupidity, he still thinks about his friend and cares about him, but I couldn’t help feeling unsatisfied with the end of this episode because I feel that the actual conflict wasn’t given a proper resolution. SpongeBob remembers everything about Patrick, but Patrick can’t remember anything about SpongeBob. It makes their friendship seem very one-sided. The lack of balance in their relationship bothers me. I know that their friendship isn’t always portrayed in such an unbalanced way so I shouldn’t be too upset, but if you’re going to make an episode that centers around how unbalanced it is the least you could do is make sure the ending actually does restore some balance.

Okay, so, weak humor, decent story-telling up until the end, and a brief appearance from Sandy in which she’s very likable (you know the writers need to start using a character more when even a brief cameo is enough to earn the episode a point or two). I guess we can call this episode mediocre-ish.

Rating: 4/10

Pearl and her friends are at Glove World where they run into SpongeBob and Patrick. Pearl is embarrassed to have SpongeBob talking to her and she tries to avoid him for the rest of the day. This proves to be impossible when the two end up riding the Tunnel of Glove together by chance. The ride breaks down with SpongeBob and Pearl trapped inside and the two are stuck in it for hours. Meanwhile, Patrick is trying to rescue them, but he only makes the situation worse, continuously messing with the mechanics of the ride and making it even more dangerous for SpongeBob and Pearl. Eventually they make it out, and Pearl confesses that she actually had fun.

This episode is widely regarded as the best of Season 7 and one of the best of post-movie overall. I never actually had an inkling of what the episode was like from seeing/hearing people talk about it, I just knew that everyone considered it good. Naturally I’ve been curious about the episode for a while and was quite excited to finally watch it.

I have to admit, I’m disappointed.

My first problem with the episode was this: PEARL. God, I hate Pearl. I believe I’ve mentioned my hatred for Pearl before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever explained exactly why I dislike her so much. The reason is simple: she’s the archetypal teenage girl, a spoiled, shallow, whiny brat whose only concern is her own social status. Yeah, you see this archetype all the time in various shows, movies and books. And I always hate it. This archetype isn’t likable, nor is it funny enough to make up for being so unlikable and it’s actually a bit offensive, so I have no idea why shows are so fond of using this archetype. Maybe it’s because I practically skipped my “teenager” phase, making it difficult for me to relate to teenager archetypes, but the spoiled teen girl archetype is one I’ve always carried an intense dislike for. At least in this show Pearl is only a minor character and one of the lesser seen ones at that, so I don’t have to put up with her much, but that doesn’t make it any easier when I do need to put up with her.

In some episodes, like The Chaperone, Whale of a Birthday or The Slumber Party, Pearl is less bothersome. I think the reason for this is because those episodes have enough going on or enough characters in them for Pearl to bounce off of, so her presence isn’t as irritating because there’s other things to focus on instead. I can’t say that for Tunnel of Glove. The story is very simple and contained to one scenario/setting; the characters are few and there’s only one that Pearl has significant interaction with throughout the episode. It’s hard not to focus on Pearl, therefore it’s hard not to feel annoyed by her.

I will give Pearl one compliment: I like that she at least took the initiative to try and get out of the ride herself. That was pretty cool and I have to admit, seeing her determination and toughness in such a situation made me gain a bit of respect for her. Unfortunately, these traits are buried under a lot of whining even within the episode, but I still can’t help admiring them. Maybe if these traits were developed more and her bratty attitude was emphasized less, I could tolerate and perhaps even like Pearl.

Now, let’s move on to my other problem with Patrick. I’ve mentioned before how Patrick and I have kind of a rocky (pun not intended) relationship. I like the guy and he can make me laugh pretty damn hard sometimes, but other times he’s far too stupid for my liking and I kind of want to punch him in the face. Yeah. I’ve never been a fan of the writers making Patrick continuously mess up and endanger the lives of other characters because LOL HEZ STOOPID LOLOLOL. And that’s basically the majority of the episode. Patrick messes up, endangers SpongeBob and Pearl even more, tries to fix it, messes up again, rinse and repeat. I’m rarely a fan of Patrick’s stupidity being taken to an extreme the way it is here.

My final problem is a simple one that doesn’t require much explanation: I don’t care for the jokes in this episode. They’re not exactly bad, I mean I can’t think of one that made me cringe or anything like that, but I can’t think of one that made me laugh either. I can barely remember any jokes from the episode at all, in fact. And I just watched it a few hours ago. Not a good sign.

Okay, that was a lot of complaining, and it’s probably making it sound like I hate the episode more than I do, so let’s get to the (admittedly few) positive things about the episode.

I like the idea. Two characters being stuck in a broken ride together? Sounds like it could make a good Graveyard Shift-esque episode. Unfortunately, I don’t like half of the pairing that was chosen for this idea. SpongeBob and Squidward probably would have been a funnier and more enjoyable pairing for something like this, though I guess getting Squidward into Glove World would be difficult to explain considering his hatred of socializing and, um, having fun. It wouldn’t be impossible to get him there, it would just require a bit more thought and work. SpongeBob and Sandy is another possibility that could have worked well for this episode, but who are we kidding? It’s Sandy Cheeks. She’d find a way out of the ride in less than a minute. I forgot what point I was trying to make. Why is staying on topic so hard? Okay, what I was trying to say is that I like the idea of the episode, but I think I would have liked it more if someone who wasn’t Pearl was involved in it instead. Not just because I dislike Pearl, but because I don’t think Pearl and SpongeBob have a particularly interesting dynamic. Actually, Mr. Krabs and Pearl might have been an interesting pairing for something like this.

Another thing I liked was that scene where the robots in the ride malfunction and try to attack SpongeBob and Pearl. Y’all know I’m a fan of dark imagery, and I thought the sinister look of the robots as they surround SpongeBob and Pearl was cool. Suddenly I was really interested in what was going to happen. Too bad the robots-malfunctioning idea didn’t actually go anywhere.

Long review is long. Let’s wrap this up.

I’m not sure what to do with this episode. I like some of the ideas in the episode and I can see why other people love this episode so much, but I have too many personal issues with it to really like it.

Rating: 4.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack)

No one is coming to the Krusty Krab because they’re all at the Sea Chicken Shack, so Mr. Krabs sends SpongeBob over there to find out what’s attracting everyone to the restaurant. SpongeBob discovers a statue in front of the restaurant that kids can climb and play on. So, Mr. Krabs has Squidward make a statue of him, telling him to have it read by the next morning. With the help of a montage, Squidward gets the statue done on time, but it’s not exactly what Krabs wanted. It’s too, um, “artsy”. Since it’s not something that Krabs thinks will attract customers, they have to resort to Plan B, which is painting Mr. Krabs gold and having him stand still like a statue all day. Genius.

Another good idea that gets ruined by bad pacing and sloppy writing. The first half of the episode is taken up by SpongeBob investigating the Sea Chicken Shack and is riddled with annoying jokes. The second half finally sets up the main plot of the episode: Squidward making a statue of Krabs. Except even that takes a a minute or two to set up, so basically the erection of the statue (stop giggling I didn’t know how else to phrase it) is crammed into the last couple of minutes and has to be told through a montage.

The average SpongeBob episode is only about eleven minutes long, so how the writers manage their time is really important. This is why simple scenarios usually work better. The conflict needs to be developed quickly, you can’t spend too much time on set-up and then cram your main plot into the last half of the episode. It’s sloppy and it makes the episode feel unbalanced.

This could have been a great, Krusty Towers-esque episode. If the main plot had been developed more quickly and the focus had really been Squidward making the statue (rather than having it just be a montage…), it could have been a fun, wacky story where Squidward and Krabs continuously disagree and get on each other’s nerves (whether on purpose or not). Then, at the end, their stubbornness serves to be their downfall. Now doesn’t that sound like a more interesting episode?

Not that the episode is terrible the way it is. There are problems with pacing and story-telling, and a lot of the humor at the beginning didn’t do it for me, but the humor does pick up a bit during the second half. It’s still not great, but it got a chuckle out of me here and there, and I do like the idea of the episode even if its execution was crap. So I guess it’s watchable.

Rating: 4/10

Gaint, monstrous whelks (which are basically like snails) attack Bikini Bottom and devour everything in sight, including some of the citizens. Well, that’s kind of dark. SpongeBob and Patrick run to the Krusty Krab to hide from the whelks, but the whelks attack the Krusty Krab as well, devouring Mr. Krabs and Squidward.

The only safe place left (I guess?) is Sandy’s, so SpongeBob and Patrick run there. Sandy lets them in and tells them that she may be able to stop the worms if she can get a sample of their slime and study it. That’s when the whelks break into Sandy’s treedome and devour Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick. Inside the whelks, Sandy discovers that the reason the whelks are so vicious is because they’re sick. To cure them, SpongeBob, um, absorbs their snot? Gross. But it does cure them and everyone who was eaten gets spit out (luckily everyone makes it out okay) as the whelks calm down.

I really liked this one. It reminds of those cheesy, old-school monster movies, dark but too silly to actually be scary. Though the episode does get surprisingly dark at some parts. Like when Squidward and Mr. Krabs get eaten by the whelks right in front of SpongeBob and Patrick. Of course we, the audience, know that they’re going to make it out okay, as I highly doubt the writers would kill off two main characters so suddenly, but SpongeBob doesn’t know that. For all he knows, two of the people he loves most were just eaten right before his eyes! That’s some disturbing shit right there. He also witnesses Sandy, his last hope, being eaten before being eaten himself. Am I the only one who realizes how intense this is? Man, this season is really upping the ante with dark episodes and imagery.

Then you get to the end of the episode, where you find out that everyone is alive and the whelks are only attacking everyone because they’re sick. I have to admit, it’s a bit anticlimactic. I’m not talking about everyone being alive because, as I said, I wasn’t expecting the writers to actually kill off characters, especially main ones. I’m talking about the reason the whelks are attacking, and how the problem is solved afterward. I don’t know, after an intense episode like this, ending it with SpongeBob absorbing snot doesn’t seem to fit. On the other hand, I guess it does kind of fit with the monster movie theme of the episode. Usually the monsters in monster movies were formed because of some kind of virus, so I guess it makes some sense.

Anyway, I do really like this episode. It’s not a funny episode, in fact the only thing I can remember laughing at was Gary’s cameo, but it’s entertaining and surprisingly exciting. I found myself getting really invested in the story and wanting to know how everything was going to turn out.

Rating: 8/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Hide and Then What Happens?/Shellback Shenanigans)

SpongeBob and Patrick are playing hide-and-seek and it’s Patrick’s turn to hide. While SpongeBob is counting, Patrick forgets what they’re playing and goes home. SpongeBob finishes his counting and begins searching for Patrick, not bothering to look under his rock because it’s “too obvious”. Oh, SpongeBob. Skipping a hiding place because it’s “too obvious” is how you always get screwed over in hide-and-seek. Anyway, SpongeBob looks all over Bikini Bottom and can’t find Patrick. He goes to search in Sandy’s treedome and can’t find him there either, so Sandy lends SpongeBob her submarine so SpongeBob can look for Patrick more efficiently. With the submarine, SpongeBob checks the whole ocean and still can’t find Patrick. He eventually gives up and returns home, where he discovers that Patrick was under the rock the entire time. SpongeBob tells Patrick that he doesn’t care if Patrick beat him in hide-and-seek because he still had fun playing. Patrick asks him what hide-and-seek is.

Everyone says this episode is boring. They’re absolutely right. This episode is boring. Maybe the idea of SpongeBob going to such extreme lengths for a game of hide-and-seek could have been amusing, but it sounds like an idea that would be better suited for a short. It could have used some more jokes, too. Actual jokes, not just annoying gags like Patrick not knowing what hide-and-seek is or that “Are you sure?” gag with Mrs. Puff (that honestly made me want to throw my laptop across the room). I did snort at the “End of the World Cafe and Gift Shop”, but that was it.

Also, that moral at the end, though it was a good moral, was too obvious. Having morals is fine, but you should try to be a bit more subtle than that. Stating the moral outright like that makes it feel like it’s being spoon-fed to us. I know it’s primarily a show for kids, but spoon-fed morals like this bothered me as a kid too. It made me feel like the show thought I was an idiot who couldn’t pick up on things unless I was beaten over the head with it. Give your audience some credit, they’re smart enough to pick up on subtlety.

Rating: 2/10

Shellback Shenanigans, eh? Sounds like a Gary episode. I’m just going to read the plot description before I watch it… “Plankton impersonates Gary”.

Sigh. Yeah, Plankton disguises himself as Gary in this episode because of some Bring Your Pet to Work Day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob thinks something is wrong with “Gary” and brings him to the vet. The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with “Gary” and they basically tell SpongeBob to take “Gary” home and let nature take its course. SpongeBob is resigned to thinking “Gary” is going to die. Hm, that’s actually a rather dark element to bring into the episode. Anyway, Plankton-Gary asks for a Krabby Patty before he dies, so SpongeBob brings him to the Krusty Krab. The real Gary sees what’s going on and beats up Plankton. The end.

This isn’t going to be a very interesting review because I just don’t care to review this episode. This is just a repeat of the scenario we saw in Imitation Krabs, Someone’s in the Kitchen With Sandy and Gramma’s Secret Recipe. I’m sick of seeing it and I’ve already ranted about how I’m sick of seeing it. Unlike the writers of this show, I don’t like repeating myself, so I won’t.

As a Plankton fangirl, I’m happy to see more Plankton episodes. But please, put some effort into them.

Rating: 2/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Abrasive Side/Earworm)

SpongeBob can’t say “no” to anyone and it starts to interfere with his own happiness. So, Gary orders an “abrasive sponge” that SpongeBob can stick to his back to help him say no. Unfortunately, SpongeBob has no control over his abrasive side. It keeps insulting his friends and making everyone hate him. SpongeBob begs Sandy for help and she rips his abrasive side off (ouch).

This is a pretty neat idea for an episode. It’s reminiscent of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, a story I’ve always loved. Abrasive SpongeBob had some funny insults and it was pretty amusing to watch SpongeBob switch back and forth between his abrasive side and his normal side without realizing what’s going on. I would have liked it if the episode had been a tad darker to go more with the Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde theme, but I’m not too bothered by it. For what it is, it’s a good episode. It has an interesting concept that it pulls off quite well, the pacing is decent (though again, the set-up is a tiny bit too long) and the jokes are fairly good. Basically it’s one of those episodes where everything is good but there’s nothing outstanding about it.

One thing I really appreciate about the episode is SANDY. God, I’ve missed her. Yeah, I can miss a fictional character, okay? Shut up. Even if her role in this episode wasn’t exactly huge, it was still great to see her again, she’s been appearing so rarely lately! I guess I should point out that her appearance at the end seemed to be more for convenience than anything else. Like the writers didn’t know how to get rid of SpongeBob’s abrasive side so they decided to just have Sandy, the physically strongest character on the show, rip it off and be done with it that way. So, in a way it was kind of lazy of them. But you know what? I can’t even bring myself to care that much. I just like seeing Sandy and hope that she’ll be seen more often.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob has a song called “Musical Doodle” stuck in his head and can’t get it out. He sings it all day at work and listens to it nonstop when he gets home. The next day, Musical Doodle is still stuck in his head after listening to it all night. SpongeBob starts to be driven insane by it, so Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Squidward and Patrick hold an intervention to get the song out of SpongeBob’s head. Sandy examines him and finds a literal earworm in his head, which is the cause of SpongeBob’s obsession with Musical Doodle. She says that the only way to get rid of an earworm is with a different song. So Squidward plays his clarinet until the earworm crawls out of SpongeBob’s ear.

This isn’t a bad idea for an episode. It’s simple, the way most pre-movie episodes were, and I often like more simplistic plots because that way the focus is more on the characters and the humor. But this episode’s plot is perhaps a bit too simple, similar to how Your Shoe’s Untied was too simple. Either way, the plot of this episode is definitely relatable. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a song stuck in my head and wanted desperately for it to leave. It happens all the time. It’s happening right now, in fact. Damn it, Blurred Lines, get out of my head!

Okay, but seriously. The episode plot is simple and relatable, the key is execution. The execution was…. meh?

Most of the episode is taken up by the song, which is catchy in the same way that Blurred Lines is catchy, and that’s not a good thing. The song is played over and over again until I just wanted to rip my ears off. I guess that was kind of the point, but it’s not exactly enjoyable. The episode also focuses a lot on SpongeBob’s descent into insanity. I think I’m actually one of few people who finds it funny when characters go insane, but I think it usually works better when it happens suddenly, like Squidward going berserk at the end of Artist Unknown. Watching the character descend slowly into madness the way SpongeBob did in Earworm is more unsettling than it is funny, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t kind of interesting to watch… what? I’ve always had a fondness for insane characters, okay? Right, I need to stay on topic. My point is, I don’t mind the episode focusing on a slow descent into insanity, as I actually find that entertaining and interesting to watch, but it’s not exactly funny.

Now let’s talk about that ending. Though I like seeing Sandy in another episode, she was definitely only used here for convenience. In The Abrasive Side, Sandy had at least appeared a few times in the episode before the ending and had already come face-to-face to Abrasive SB, so her saving the day in the episode was convenient but it didn’t come totally out of left field. In Earworm it sort of did. To be fair, she’s not really the hero of the episode. She only diagnoses SpongeBob and then Squidward is the one who cures him (as a Squidward fan I was pretty happy about that). Still, Sandy’s appearance reeked of convenience.

That was a lot of complaining, so you’re probably thinking I hated the episode. I don’t hate it. Like said, SpongeBob’s predicament is relatable, so I can’t help liking the episode a little bit for that, the ending has its flaws but I liked it for the most part, and there were a few good jokes here and there. I don’t think it’s a great episode, but to be honest with a plot like this I’m not sure if it could have been much better than this.

Rating: 5.5/10

RWBY Reviews: Episode 14 (Forever Fall Part 2)

Jaune is taking a beating from Cardin, when suddenly Jaune’s “Aura” is activated, protecting him from Cardin’s punches. But then a bigger problem shows up: a monster known as an Ursa. The Ursa attacks Cardin and all of Cardin’s teammates ditch him. They run into Team RWBY and the other members of Team JNPR and inform them that Cardin and Jaune are bing attacked by an Ursa. Blake, Yang, Ren and Nora go to find Goodwitch while Ruby, Weiss and Pyrrha rush to aid Cardin and Jaune. When they get there, however, Jaune has started fighting the Ursa and seems to be doing all right. He’s struggling, but still holding his own. Then Pyrrha does something weird. When Jaune swings his sword at the Ursa, she uses her hand to guide it so that it decapitates the Ursa. She explains to Ruby and Weiss that she has powers of polarity, just like Ruby has speed and Weiss has her magical glyphs. Um, okay. She asks Ruby and Weiss to keep this a secret from Jaune. That night, Jaune (who’s feelin more confident now that he’s no longer being bullied or blackmailed by Cardin) asks Pyrrha if she’d still be willing to train him. Pyrrha agrees and the episode ends there.

Well, we’re basically at the end of Jaune’s arc (pun not intended) for this volume. I imagine there will be more progression in his character as he learns to become a better leader/fighter, but I don’t think there will be anymore episodes this season that focus primarily on him. Really, they probably should have left this story arc for Volume 2 and kept the first volume focused on the Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, but I’ve already talked about that before.

I was a little bothered by Pyrrha helping Jaune win the fight with the Ursa. I kind of would have liked it better if Jaune had beaten it himself. I guess that would have been cheesy and unrealistic, since Jaune can’t exactly go from a loser to an Ursa-killing bad ass in five seconds, but he was holding his own against well enough before Pyrrha showed up and that seemed pretty natural. Pyrrha’s weird magnetism powers also seemed to come out of nowhere and didn’t really get a proper explanation. Are character’s powers connected to their Auras? Explain please, Monty.

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Buried in Time/Enchanted Tiki Dreams)

Mr. Krabs is putting together a time capsule at the Krusty Krab, charging people to make contributions. Squidward is in charge of checking the contributions, and the next couple of minutes of the episode are just Squidward being a sarcastic jerk to the contributors, which unfortunately isn’t as funny as it sounds. Later, Patrick shows up and tries to put a rock in the capsule but Squidward won’t let him. A fight ensues that results in Patrick, Squidward and SpongeBob falling into the time capsule. They get buried with it and think they’re going to be trapped there for the next 50 years, until the time capsule is opened. Meanwhile, Plankton is trying to get into the time capsule because Mr. Krabs put a copy of the formula in it. He drills a hole into the time capsule (which the trio is able to squeeze out of) and grabs the formula. As he’s running back to the Chum Bucket, he gets stepped on and that causes him to swallow the formula. I swear it makes more sense when you see it. After that, Plankton has no choice but to shit out the formula. No, seriously, the last scene is him on the toilet trying to shit it out.

Yeah.

This episode suffers from a problem that a lot of post-movie episodes suffer from: bad pacing. I really like the idea behind this episode. SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick buried in a time capsule together sounds like it could be really funny, and perhaps a bit dark as well. Dark for me, at least, since I have this weird and irrational fear of being buried alive and that fear is actually the main reason why I want to be cremated when I die. Yeah, I’m weird. Um, what were we talking about? Right. Buried in Time and its bad pacing. The main plot of the episode is supposedly the trio being buried in the time capsule, but that only happens in the second half of the episode and they don’t stay in there for very long anyway. The first half of the episode kind of just meanders for a while before the plot finally kicks in. I wouldn’t mind filler so much if it was at least funny, but this wasn’t that funny.

Even when the plot does kick in, it’s still not as funny as I had hoped. I liked that little reference to SB-129 when they’re all fantasizing about what the future will be like, but the only thing I can remember laughing at was this exchange when Squidward is trying to get out of the time capsule:

• SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, what are you doing?
• Patrick: Yeah, it looks fun!
• Squidward: WE JUST GOT BURIED ALIVE, YOU IDIOTS!!
• SpongeBob: I know, but what are you doing?

I don’t know, something about the contrast of SpongeBob’s not-a-single-fuck-given attitude and Squidward’s panic was really funny to me.

Oh, and then there’s that random Plankton plot. Yeah, as much as I love that adorable little cyclops, he really didn’t need to be in this episode. Actually, he’s barely in the episode anyway, the only purpose he seemed to serve was getting the trio out of the time capsule. Could that not have been done some other way?

Anyway, you can just bury this episode away with all of the other ones that didn’t live up to their potential. Pun intended.

Rating: 4/10

The episode starts with Squidward having a really bad day being generally depressed. You know, the usual for post-movie Squidward. Eventually he has a breakdown, crying about how all he wants is a life of peace and happiness. SpongeBob feels bad for him and suggests to Patrick that they do something nice for Squidward. So they spend the whole night creating a beautiful tiki paradise for him. Squidward discovers it the next day and is able to have a few hours of relaxation and happiness, and even some bonding with SpongeBob and Patrick before an accident burns down the tiki world. Squidward is upset again and SpongeBob apologizes for not being able to make it last, but they’re able to use the leftover pieces to make a swing, so Squidward will always have a way to make it last. lulz just kidding no continuity, remember?

Something that’s always bother me about Squidward’s portrayal post-movie is that they often make him seem too depressed. It’s one thing for him to be grumpy and cynical, but depression is something else. Grumpy/cynical is funny, depression is a lot harder (if not impossible) to make funny. I just feel weird laughing about a character who I think has a serious problem like depression. The beginning of this episode is a bit different, though, since his depression isn’t played for laughs for the most part. We’re supposed to sympathize with him and we do, particularly when he has his breakdown, which is really heartbreaking. Then we get to the tiki world in the second half.

The second half of the episode is really nice. That’s the only way to describe it, it’s just nice. It’s a nice gesture from SpongeBob and Patrick. They’re aware of Squidward’s feelings (a rare thing for post-movie) and they try to do something for him. Something incredibly kind and selfless on their part. It’s nice to see something go Squidward’s way. Though it’s not as triumphant as his victories in Band Geeks, House Fancy or Suction Cup Symphony, he’s able to have peace and happiness, which is all he really wants, for at least a short time. It’s nice to see the trio get along. I may or may not have teared up a bit when Squidward grabbed SpongeBob and Patrick’s hands shut up it was cute, okay? Everything about this episode is just nice. It’s not  funny (there are hardly any jokes in the episode, really), it doesn’t have much of a story, it’s not really the type of episode you’d want to watch over and over, but it’s nice. Pleasant. Uplifting. Sweet.

This episode almost feels like an apology from the writers for all of the Squid Abuse. I mean, to be honest I can’t recall seeing a Squid Abuse episode that’s really gotten under my skin in a while. There have been some, but I’ve found them pretty mild for the most part. Apparently I’m in the minority, though, because other people complain about Squid Abuse constantly. Maybe seeing so much of it in Season 4 (which was heaviest on the Squid Abuse in my opinion) has made me build a resistance to it. Or maybe in light of Gary Abuse, SpongeBob Abuse and Plankton Abuse becoming more common, all of which I hate more than Squid Abuse, I’ve become less sensitive to Squid Abuse, the lesser evil of the four. Or maybe my definitions of “character abuse” differ from everyone else’s. I’ve suspected that for a while. I’m getting off topic here. Why can I never stay on topic? As I was saying, this episode almost feels like the writers were trying to make up for the way they’ve treated Squidward, because though I don’t consider all of it “abuse” per se, Squidward’s generally not treated very kindly by the writers. The episode probably wasn’t meant to be an apology, I’m probably just reading too much into it, but that’s how I see it.

Now if we could only have episodes to apologize for One Coarse Meal, A Monster For Gary A Pal For Gary and Gone, I’ll be happy.

Rating: 9/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Great Patty Caper/That Sinking Feeling/Karate Star)

Um, isn’t there an episode called Patty Caper already? I’m so going to get those two confused.

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are making a new batch of Krabby Patties, but they have a disagreement on the ingredients. Mr. Krabs opens the vault that contains the formula to check the recipe, and out comes Plankton, attempting to steal it. Krabs stops him and sends him back to the Chum Bucket yet again, but he wants to stop Plankton from coming after the formula in the future. He sends the formula to a bank far away from Bikini Bottom, and then he and SpongeBob go back to making Patties. Except they forgot to check the recipe before sending the formula away. Oops. So SpongeBob is sent to get the formula, taking Patrick with him. The two go by train, and of course they’re followed by Plankton. From there, a lot of things happen. And I mean a lot. I won’t explain it all because I don’t like taking too long with the synopsis, but it ends with Plankton and Krabs at the bank (Krabs had been waiting for him there, which makes me wonder why he needed to send SpongeBob). They fight over the formula, and then the train that SpongeBob and Patrick were on crashes into the bank. Hm, maybe I should have explained a few things after all. Anyway, Krabs is forced to pay for the damages but I guess he at least stopped Plankton from getting the formula? I don’t know, it was kind of unclear.

I liked this episode a lot, it was really entertaining. Like I said, a lot of stuff happened and the plot is rather complicated, but it was all paced very well so the episode doesn’t feel disorganized or like it has too much going on. The idea of the episode is pretty creative and it’s a neat mystery/adventure story. I also like that Plankton felt like a genuine threat in this episode and pulled off some pretty nasty stuff. It’s been a while since Plankton has really felt like a villain, so it was a nice change of pace.

The humor is unfortunately where it falls flat. Well, maybe not “falls flat”, but it wasn’t the best. Some jokes were pretty funny, others were kind of weak, and some were just… I don’t even know what they were. Like, there’s one scene where Patrick asks someone if he’s a werewolf, and then some random fish walks on screen, looks up at a full moon (even though it’s daytime?), turns into a werewolf and then runs off screen. Just… what the fuck was that even? Was that supposed to be a joke? It’s not referenced afterwards and it has no purpose in the episode. It’s like a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment. It’s almost kind of funny just because of how stupid and unnecessary it was. Almost. There’s also a scene where Plankton gets run over by a bus and he says, “Oh, now they’re on time!” which is a reference to One Coarse Meal, when he’s lying on the road waiting for a bus to run him over but it’s late. Usually I like it when the writers indirectly reference past episodes like this, but this was a reference to One Coarse Meal, my least favorite episode that I’m trying very hard to pretend didn’t exist. So no, can’t laugh at that reference.

Despite a few flaws, I really do like this episode. It’s just a cleverly-written episode that’s a ton of fun to watch.

Rating: 8.5/10

After being yelled at by Squidward for playing in his yard, SpongeBob and Patrick dig a tunnel underground between their houses. This makes the foundation under Squidward’s house weaker, so his house sinks into the tunnel too. He demands that SpongeBob and Patrick dig his house out, but the two are unable to. So he chases them throughout the tunnels (SpongeBob and Patrick continue digging more as they’re running) and eventually all of Bikini Bottom is sunk, so everyone has to dig their own houses out.

This episode has a pretty funny premise that almost sounds pre-movie-esque, but lackluster execution. Aside from a couple of jokes, I didn’t really laugh at much and it was pretty easy to get bored with the episode. It relies a bit too much on visual gags and random gags, and that’s usually not a good thing for an episode to do. It makes the episode feel cheap and lowers its replay value. I would have liked more focus on the character interactions. SpongeBob and Patrick were also really oblivious and stupid in this episode, even by post-movie standards, which sort of hindered my enjoyment of the episode.

It’s not a terrible episode, or even a bad one. It’s mostly just forgettable and a bit disappointing, as I really like the idea of the episode and I think it could have been a lot funnier than it was.

Rating: 4/10

Patrick asks SpongeBob to teach him karate, which SpongeBob agrees to do. At first it seems like Patrick can’t do anything right, but then it’s discovered that Patrick has a perfect karate chop that can slice anything in half. Unfortunately this goes to Patrick’s head and he starts chopping everything, becoming the terror of Bikini Bottom when he destroys half the town. SpongeBob tries to stop him, but Patrick is no longer able to control his chopping. After injuring SpongeBob, Patrick realizes that the only way to control his chopping is to rip off his arm. It’s okay, starfish limbs grow back. He and SpongeBob then begin rebuilding Bikini Bottom.

Man, Bikini Bottom can’t catch a break. It seems like every second episode ends with it being destroyed.

Anyway, this was a decent episode. I didn’t laugh much and Patrick’s attitude got on my nerves sometimes, but I did like him trying to save SpongeBob at the end. That was nice, especially since the writers haven’t exactly been doing Patrick much justice lately. He’s frequently depicted as mean, selfish and an overall jerk, which can be fine now and then if it’s done well, but seeing it so often (and not done well) just makes you forget why you’re supposed to like Patrick. Despite Patrick’s jerky attitude throughout most of the episode, the moment where he saves SpongeBob at the end reminded me why I should like him. Patrick may be an idiot, but he’s a loyal friend.

The only major problem I have with this episode is the lack of Sandy. People are probably getting tired of me complaining about Sandy not being in more episodes, but I don’t care. She should be in more episodes, she’s a great character that’s unfortunately under-appreciated by the writers and by fans. And if there’s any episode that should have Sandy in it, it’s this one. It’s an episode about karate. You know who likes karate? SANDY. She’s always involved in karate-related episodes, since karate is a rather important part of her character. I guess now that the writers are trying to awkwardly balance Scientist Sandy with Sporty Sandy they’re bound to screw up like this now and then, but not having Sandy in this episode was a big disappointment and a wasted opportunity.

Rating: 4/10