SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (The Good Krabby Name/Move It or Lose It/Hello Bikini Bottom)

It begins with Krabs taking pictures of everyone in Bikini Bottom who hasn’t been to the Krusty Krab, which is a little creepy, but let’s not dwell on that. Later he pulls SpongeBob and Squidward into his office and tells them that they need to bring in new customers with advertising. So SpongeBob goes out to advertise (Squidward has no fucks to give as usual) and is later joined by Patrick. And that’s pretty much the majority of the episode. SpongeBob and Patrick find silly and often dangerous ways of advertising that are surprisingly successful, until finally they manage to piss people off when one of their methods goes awry. Well, more awry than their previous ones, I guess. Anyway, angry customers storm the Krusty Krab and of course it ends up destroyed. Can that place ever catch a break?

This episode has an okay premise. It does feel a bit familiar, but it’s original enough. Can’t say I really enjoyed it much, though. I found it rather dull. There are a few funny bits, but nothing that really stands out. Except maybe that one brilliant scene between Mr. Krabs and the last customer needed that looked oddly suggestive. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

I did find it kind of amusing that despite their terrible methods of advertising the Bikini Bottomites couldn’t help being drawn to the Krusty Krab. And Plankton’s cameo was kind of funny too. However, I don’t think the episode as a whole has much worth writing home about.

Rating: 4/10

A notice is put up in between the Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket, saying that the restaurants are too close together. Apparently there’s a law about restaurants needing to be a hundred feet from each other, and the Krusty Krab and Chum Bucket are ninety-nine feet from each other. If one of them doesn’t move, one of them will get plowed. Mr. Krab and Plankton are both too stubborn to move, so they start gathering signatures for petitions to let their restaurant be the one to stay. At first it appears that Krabs is winning, but SpongeBob overhears Plankton crying and feels bad, so he lets slip some ideas for how Plankton can get more signatures. Basically Plankton pays people for them, and he ends up getting more, so the Krusty Krab has to be plowed. And by “plowed” I mean it gets pushed one foot away from the Chum Bucket, meeting the requirements.

I was hoping to like this episode more than I did, since I really like it when characters are pitted against each other for an episode. But like its partner, this episode was pretty forgettable. I like it a little more than I liked its partner, but not much more. The ending was really predictable, and I was kind of annoyed at how the whole plot basically came about because of poor communication (the man who left them the notice wasn’t clear about what he meant when he said one of them would be getting plowed). I don’t know, I’m not a fan of plots that rely on characters not being able to communicate properly and tell each other what they actually mean, and while this definitely wasn’t as annoying as most plots like this can be (if anything, it’s probably one of the better examples of this type of plot), I still couldn’t help rolling my eyes a little at the ending’s “reveal”.

I liked how excited Plankton was about the Krusty Krab being plowed, it reminded of the movie, when we was way too excited about Mr. Krabs being executed. I love that Plankton is actually starting to feel like a villain again.

Rating: 5.5/10

Squidward is practicing his clarinet (this is one of those episodes where he’s randomly able to play it well) and is heard by SpongeBob, who tries to join him with his ukelele. Squidward is unhappy about the intrusion, but they’re heard by a fish named Colonel Carper, who says he wants them to form a band with him as their manager. Squidward doesn’t like the idea of working with SpongeBob, but he does so anyway for the possibility of becoming famous. SpongeBob, bless his heart, doesn’t care about the money and fame and is just happy to be in a band with his friend. Mr. Krabs overhears CC talking about how much money they’ll make (a lot of overhearing happens at the beginning of this episode) and he forcefully makes himself band manager, despite CC’s warnings that managing a band is harder than it look. Most of this is explained through song. From there, a lot happens and I don’t want to spend too much time on it, but here’s what you need to know: Mr. Krabs is a terrible band manager, SpongeBob and Squidward are obviously both hoping to get different things out of their band, CC is an asshole but to be fair Krabs did deserve a lot of what CC did to him, and the band eventually fails because, as mentioned earlier, Mr. Krabs is a terrible band manager. After a particularly bad concert experience Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob (and Patrick who was their roadie, but he doesn’t have much of a purpose in the narrative, really) end up stranded far from home thanks to a flat tire on their tour bus. Squidward decides he’s had enough and gives up on the band. SpongeBob tries to stop him, but Squidward begins walking home on his own. Then we get another song, this time an emotional duet between Squidward and SpongeBob which culminates in the two of them rejoining and playing their instruments together. What happens after this is a bit confusing, but basically the band still ends up failing.

Okay, so I thought this special was really funny. Like, probably one of the funnier post-movie episodes. I found Mr. Krabs especially hilarious, though I’m not entirely sure why since he didn’t have that many lines that were particularly clever or even particularly memorable, I just remember laughing because of him a lot. I think it was mostly his deliveries and facial expressions that made me laugh. Colonel Carper was a pretty funny character too, in a wow-what-an-obnoxious-asshole kind of way, and the fact that he’s voiced by Andy Samberg earns him some extra points in my books. Squidward and SpongeBob both had their fair share of funny moments too.

My only problem with the episode is unfortunately one that’s hard to ignore. I didn’t like the story. No, that’s not it. I liked the story, or I wanted to anyway, but I didn’t like what the story focused on. Wait. No. I can explain this, I swear.

I really liked the portions of the story that focused on SpongeBob and Squidward, and it seemed like that should have been the heart of the episode, but it took a backseat to Krabs’ conflict with Colonel Carper. And yeah, I found most of the stuff with Krabs and CC funny, but I was much more interested in what was happening with SpongeBob and Squidward. I liked that they were both clearly looking for something different out of their partnership, but Squidward eventually comes around to SpongeBob’s way of thinking. And hey, remember that thing Squidward used to do sometimes where he didn’t hate SpongeBob’s guts? HE DOES IT AGAIN IN HELLO BIKINI BOTTOM. It’s small and fleeting, but it’s something. And that’s all I really wanted, just something, however small and short-lived it may be, to show that Squidward’s heart isn’t made completely out of stone. Unfortunately that plotline seemed more like an afterthought. I wish it had been the main plot and that the Krabs-CC plotline was more secondary. It would have made the episode feel a lot more balanced and increased its replay value.

The music in the episode is pretty decent. The ukelele and clarinet combo actually did sound quite nice, and the song sung at the beginning is fun, though it does go on for way too long. The duet SpongeBob and Squidward sing at the end is nice, but I kind of ruined it for myself when this thought entered my mind about halfway through it: “Wow, I wonder how many slash fics were inspired by this scene?” That was all I could think about afterwards. Fandoms have polluted my mind.

I don’t know why, but I laughed really hard at the first line SpongeBob sings in the duet: “Squidward, you must look inward!” I have no idea why this lyric is so funny to me, it probably shouldn’t be. I just think it’s such a clever rhyme and I really wasn’t expecting it when I heard it.

Overall, it’s a good episode, and a good way to end the season.

Rating: 7.5/10

Wait… am I really done with Season 8 already? Didn’t I start Season 4, like, two days ago?!

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (Ghoul Fools/Mermaid Man Begins/Plankton’s Good Eye)

Well, the Runaway Roadtrip miniseries is over, and now we have a Halloween special with a cool-looking title card.

It begins with SpongeBob and Patrick finding an old ghostly ship. Thinking it’s one of those fake haunted house attractions made for kids on Halloween, they decide to go explore it. Of course it’s not fake, it’s real, and the owner of the ship, a ghostly pirate named Lord Poltergeist, isn’t happy to find trespassers on his ship. He tells SpongeBob and Patrick that the reason his ship has landed in Bikini Bottom is because of a broken gasket. He offers them a doubloon if they find him a replacement gasket, and to give them incentive to return, he takes their souls. That’s pretty fucking metal. Anyway, SpongeBob and Patrick run to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs, Squidward and Sandy are and tell them what happened. Mr. Krabs is interested in getting the doubloon, so he steals a gasket from some random fish’s car to give to Lord Poltergeist, saying that once they get there they can overpower the ghosts and steal their gold. Sandy offers to help with her device that detects and catches monsters, and Squidward tags along too because of reasons. They head back to the ship and Krabs finds a chest full of gold doubloons. He starts putting them in bags, when Lord Poltergeist appears from out of the chest. SpongeBob gives him the replacement gasket and LP explains that he never actually had their souls, when he spots Krabs, Squidward and Patrick trying to make off with his gold. He stops them and takes them into “The Void”, which shows each of them visions of torment. That’s when Sandy goes all Ghostbusters on LP and sucks Krabs, Squidward and Patrick out of The Void with her device. Once out of The Void, they discover that the gold actually belongs to the Flying Dutchman. Apparently LP used to be part of his crew and stole the Dutchman’s gold years ago. SpongeBob reports the theft to the Dutchman and the Dutchman attacks LP’s ship. And I guess he kills everyone because the episode ends with all of them in The Void, working at the Krusty Krab. So, I guess the Krusty Krab = Hell? I don’t know.

I can’t decide if I think this episode has too much going on or not enough.

This episode doesn’t seem to have a focus. The Great Patty Caper and Frozen Face-Off had a lot happening in them too, in fact I think there was more going on in those episodes than in Ghoul Fools, but they still had a focus and never lost sight of that focus. Everything fit together and felt like it was part of a larger story. The events in Ghoul Fools felt oddly disconnected from each other. It didn’t feel like one story, it felt like a bunch of smaller stories that vaguely related to each other. Each of the stories felt like they could have been an episode on their own. SpongeBob and Patrick trying to get their souls back could have been its own episode. The Void could have been an episode on its own (which I probably would have loved). The ending with the Flying Dutchman attacking his old crew members could have been an episode on its own. If they’d separated the stories and gave this episode more of a Treehouse of Horror-like structure, it could have worked, but they presented it as one story, and it just doesn’t feel like one story, at least not to me. Yet even with all this stuff happening, this episode felt really slow, especially the first half of it. It picks up during the second half, but it still felt a bit slow. Even the chase scene at the end didn’t excite me. Everything about this episode felt lethargic to me.

I would be happy about this being a group episode, but really Sandy and Squidward had no reason to be in the episode at all. Okay, I guess Sandy’s purpose was to save everyone from The Void, so basically she’s a plot-device. Squidward had no purpose whatsoever. He could have been cut from the episode entirely and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Eh, at least he had one or two funny lines.

Actually, the entire episode is pretty funny. At least that’s something good I can say about it. Also, the animation is particularly nice to look at in this episode, it’s smooth and the colors really pop. My only problem with this episode is the story, but unfortunately it’s a big problem. It’s too slow and plot-points feel too disconnected. I just can’t get into it.

Rating: 5.5/10

SpongeBob and Patrick are getting ready to watch a special episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy which is supposed to tell the story of their origin. Unfortunately a storm hits and none of the TV’s in Bikini Bottom are working, so they go to see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, hoping to hear the origin story from them. Mermaid Man Barnacle Boy argue about the origin for a bit when the power comes back on and we see their origin story according to their show, and it’s… well, take a look:

Yeah.

This is easily my favorite Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episode to come out of post-movie (so far). An episode focusing on their origin is a great idea, and most importantly it’s hilarious. So much of this episode had me laughing, and the origin story shown on TV at the end is especially funny. I love how they go through basically every super hero origin cliche ever only to have burnt popcorn be the thing that gives them powers. It’s completely ridiculous in all of the right ways. (As a side note, I also like that the title of the episode references Batman Begins.)

Seeing the human world above water in animation felt really surreal. Before now anything from above water was live-action, and I’ve always liked that, it made it feel like underwater and the surface were separate worlds. It makes sense for them to animate it for this episode, since an origin story that ridiculous would have been difficult to pull off in live-action, but it still felt really odd to me.

I thought having Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy’s original names be the same as their voice actors (Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway respectively) was a nice idea, but it also reveals an inconsistency since Mermaid Man called Barnacle Boy “Kyle” in a past episode. Oh well, I’m pretty sure only hardcore fans would pick up on it, and I kind of prefer the name Tim for him anyway, I like the idea of them being named after their voice actors.

Speaking of their voice actors, this was the last Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episode to air before Ernest Bornine’s death in 2012. There are still a couple more episodes with his voice work in them that were made before his death but aired after it, but Mermaid Man Begins is technically his “last episode”. Knowing that makes this episode feel really sad somehow, and this picture doesn’t help:

If that picture doesn’t break you heart then you probably aren’t human. But you might be dancer.

At least Ernest Borgnine’s last episode was a good one. Rest in peace, good sir.

Rating: 9.5/10

Karen tells Plankton that his lack of depth perception due to having only one eye is holding him back, so Plankton begins working on an experiment that will give him a second eye. After a few failed attempts, he and Karen figure out that to grow a second eye, he needs DNA from someone who already has two eyes. So, Plankton collects some DNA from SpongeBob and uses that to make himself a second eye successfully. Now with perfect depth perception, Plankton is ready to make another attempt at stealing the formula. However, this new eye seems to have a strange effect Plankton. It makes him nicer. Suddenly, being evil is a much more difficult task. Plankton tries to fight the effects of the new eye and eventually resorts to trying to get rid of it, but the eye can’t be gotten rid of. He returns home to find that SpongeBob has planned a surprise party for him to celebrate his new kinder attitude. At the party, everyone gives Plankton a group hug, and they squeeze him so hard that his second eye pops out. Ew. With nothing to keep him from his evil ways anymore, Plankton chases everyone out of the Chum Bucket with lasers.

The beginning of this episode where Plankton is hiding in a pickle jar on Mr. Krabs’ desk made my heart flutter because my mom once said that Plankton looks like a dill pickle and I thought that was an adorable description and since then I may have referred to him as “my little dill pickle” in my head. An obsessed fangirl, me? Don’t be silly.

Anyway, this is the best Plankton episode in a while, mainly because it at least has some creativity.  Though the formula is technically Plankton’s motivation in this episode, it’s not given that much focus. The focus is on a kind of reverse Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde scenario, where instead of an evil personality taking over someone good and ruining their life, a good personality takes over someone evil and ruins their life. Weird idea, but in a good way. And it’s not just another episode where Plankton pretends to be nice, he actually is nice. And he hates it. It makes for some really funny moments when he tries so hard to be mean but keeps accidentally being nice.

This episode also marks the return of Bubble Bass, who we haven’t seen since Season 1. I only bring this up because it’s apparently a big deal for a lot of people, but I honestly don’t care that much. I guess it’s cool to see him again, but it’s not like I was particularly attached to him. I’d rather see other one-time antagonists like Flatts or Kevin the sea cucumber make a return. Besides, calling this Bubble Bass’ “return” seems a bit generous. He only has a very minor role, and I doubt we’ll be seeing him again after this anyway.

Back on topic, I really liked this episode. I’m glad to see that the writers still have some creativity when it comes to Plankton episodes.

Rating: 8/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 5 (Spy Buddies/Boat Smarts/Good ol’ Whatshisname)

Wow, three sister episodes again!

Mr. Krabs is getting paranoid because Plankton hasn’t tried to steal the Krabby Patty formula in over a month. He gets SpongeBob and Patrick to spy on Plankton to figure out what he’s up to. They follow Plankton around town but don’t catch him doing anything suspicious. That night, they sneak into the Chum Bucket and are caught by Plankton. SpongeBob and Patrick accidentally destroy the Chum Bucket and let it slip that they were spying on Plankton. Plankton is angered by this and attacks the Krusty Krab in a big red blimp. Mr. Krabs pops the blimp by firing Patrick out of a cannon at it, but Plankton still manages to get the formula. That’s not even the weird part. We then find out that Plankton and Mr. Krabs were actually disguised as each other (we get another reference to Imitation Krabs after this reveal). The two had made a bet after Mr. Krabs teased Plankton for always failing to steal the formula. The bet was that Mr. Krabs wouldn’t be able to steal his own formula. Krabs won the bet, however, so Plankton gives him his prize: one dollar. After that things get really confusing because it turns out everyone was disguised as someone else (except Squidward) and I couldn’t even keep up so I’m not going to bother explaining it.

Okay, first of all, this:

Was that a joke about periods? That was totally a joke about periods. I’m not even that surprised after the “Don’t drop the soap” joke in Gary Takes a Bath. Not to mention all of the other, um, questionable content in other pre-movie episodes.

Anyway, despite the confusing ending, this episode was decent. It’s pretty funny, though probably not one I’d revisit.

Rating: 6.5/10

This episode is similar to Krusty Krab Training Video. It’s not really a story, it’s just a parody of instructional videos. This one is about driving, with Squidward being the example of a good driver and SpongeBob being the example of a bad driver. Mrs. Puff is the narrator.

SpongeBob is pretty annoying in this one and there’s some Squid Abuse, but it’s pretty mild compared to other episodes. Luckily this episode is extremely short (less than four minutes) so I don’t have time to get too mad about anything. There are a few funny moments, but nothing that really stands out.

Rating: 4.5/10

Mr. Krabs has SpongeBob and Squidward compete to learn the names of all of the customers in the Krusty Krab. Whoever wins gets a prize: a vacation cruise. Squidward wants to win, but he and SpongeBob tie, and there is only one fish left that neither of them knows the name of. Squidward approaches the fish and asks him what his name is. The fish replies “What’s it to ya?” Squidward keeps trying to get his name and eventually resorts to stealing his wallet to read his driver’s license. Yes, really. When he checks the driver’s license, it says the fish’s name is What Zit Tooya. Yes, really. Squidward is arrested and Krabs and SpongeBob come to visit him in jail. Squidward is pleased that he won the contest, but then he finds out that Krabs wasn’t offering a cruise for the prize, he was offering a brochure for the cruise. Yes, really. Oh, and Patrick is in Squidward’s jail cell too because why not rip off the ending of SpongeBob Meets the Strangler?

This episode is stupid. It isn’t funny and I can’t decide if I should get mad at it for having Squid Abuse or I should be mad at Squidward for being so stupid and doing this to himself. What the fuck.

Thank God this episode is short.

Rating: 0/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 4 (Have You Seen This Snail?/Skill Crane/Good Neighbors)

Yeah, I decided to review the next two episodes as well because I thought reviewing just one episode would make this post too short.

This episode is a 22-minutes long special. In it, Gary runs away after SpongeBob forgets to feed him for a week. He gets taken in by a creepy old lady who over-feeds all of her snails (does she eat them? I wasn’t totally sure if that’s what they were implying) while SpongeBob puts up fliers all over Bikini Bottom trying to find Gary. When Gary sees these fliers he decides to go back to SpongeBob and escapes the old lady’s house. He and SpongeBob are reunited and they live happily ever after or something.

I consider this episode pretty good, even though there wasn’t much that I found particularly funny. The only scene that made me laugh out loud was the scene in Squidward’s bathroom. I love how SpongeBob and Patrick just stand there until he’s done screaming and then don’t even acknowledge it. I have to admit, I find that pretty hilarious for some reason. It’s also great to finally know where that meme comes from.

This episode has something else going for it besides humor, though: it’s quite touching. Seeing SpongeBob so heartbroken  over Gary’s disappearance really got to me, and the song that plays while SpongeBob is looking for Gary almost had me tearing up. As a pet owner, this episode hit me hard. If anything ever happened to my dog I’d probably be a wreck (ROXY PLEASE NEVER LEAVE ME).

So, overall, I enjoyed this episode. It’s not particularly funny, but it’s sweet.

Rating: 7/10 (unfortunately I do need to deduct a few points for lack of humor)

In this episode, Mr. Krabs puts a claw machine in the Krusty Krab. Squidward becomes obsessed with it and spends all of his money trying to win a prize. He finally wins one with SpongeBob’s help and it goes to his head.

My thoughts on this episode can be summed up with this:

Seriously, I don’t have anything to say about this one. It’s not good, it’s not bad, nothing about it stands out to me. It’s perfectly average. Sorry, I wish I had something interesting to say about this one, but I don’t.

Rating: 5/10

Words can not describe how much I despise this episode. I despised it when I saw it as a kid, and I still despise it.

Sigh. Let’s start with the plot. So, all Squidward wants to do on his Sunday off is relax, but SpongeBob and Patrick make him president of their “Good Neighbors” club and spend the whole day annoying the crap out of him. Squidward finally snaps and yells at them for being the worst neighbors ever, kicks them out of his house, and gets an alarm system for his house in an attempt to keep them away. Guess what? THEY STILL DON’T STAY AWAY. Squidward tries to activate the alarm system and his house sprouts arms and legs and begins destroying the town and I don’t even know anymore this episode is kind of a mess. When the house finally gets shut off and goes back to normal (it lands on Squidward, of course, because this episode can’t go five seconds without causing him pain and/or misery), Squidward gets blamed for the destruction it caused. He, SpongeBob and Patrick are sentenced to do community service every Sunday for the rest of their lives. The end.

This episode is a prime example of one of the main things I hated about post-movie SpongeBob as a kid: Squid Abuse. This refers to how the writers insist on torturing Squidward without him having done anything to deserve it, so that it seems more sadistic than funny. I’m fine with characters being punished when they’ve done something to deserve it. In this episode, Squidward didn’t deserve it.

This episode is also a prime example of another thing I hated about post-movie SpongeBob: the flanderization of SpongeBob’s personality. He is way too stupid and way too oblivious in this episode. Pre-movie SpongeBob was weird, optimistic, and extremely innocent, but he wasn’t necessarily stupid. Also, SpongeBob getting on Squidward’s nerves is nothing new. That’s been happening since the first episode. However,  he usually managed to still be funny and endearing, he was never this unlikable. The way SpongeBob acts in this episode isn’t charmingly naive, it’s annoyingly oblivious. Nobody could be that blind.

This episode is incredibly irritating and incredibly mean-spirited. Sure, pre-movie seasons had some episodes that were mean-spirited, such as Jellyfishing, I’m With Stupid, Club SpongeBob, Culture Shock and The Camping Episode, and while I’m not crazy about those episodes I find them more forgivable because they all have moments that make me laugh. I can’t say that for Good Neighbors. It didn’t make me laugh once. It didn’t make me crack a smile. The only thing that made me even think about smiling was when Squidward said “I am going to relax if it kills me!” and even then, given what the rest of the episode was like, that line is more sad than it is funny.

So yeah, this episode is just terrible. It’s annoying, sadistic, and unfunny. There’s nothing redeemable about it. I’ve heard that there are worse Squid Abuse episodes out there, and that’s really not a comforting thought.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch Band Geeks just to cleanse myself of this awful, awful episode.

Rating: 0/10 -5/10 (seriously, I hate it that much)