SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (The Way of the Sponge/Bubble Troubles)

SpongeBob goes to visit Sandy and sees a… something in her Treedome. That thing is “Fuzzy Acorns”, Sandy’s Karate sensei who has come to test her abilities and see whether or not she is worthy of the “blacker” belt, which is apparently a rank above the black belt that she already has. What kind of animal is Fuzzy Acorns supposed to be? I can’t figure it out and I can’t find the information anywhere. Eh, it doesn’t matter I guess. SpongeBob wants to earn a belt too, so Fuzzy (who came up with such a cute name like that for a bad ass Karate master, Hagrid?) puts him through a series of tests, all of which SpongeBob fails. Unimpressed, Fuzzy schedules a fight between Sandy and SpongeBob to take place the next day. SpongeBob spends the rest of the day and night training, and the next day is too exhausted to fight. Sandy beats him easily, and Fuzzy tells SpongeBob he isn’t worthy of a Karate belt. To make matters worse, he takes Sandy’s black belt as well for wasting his time with an unworthy student. Dejected, SpongeBob leaves to go to work, and Sandy berates Fuzzy for being so mean to SpongeBob.  Fuzzy dismisses her words and says that he’s hungry. Sandy takes him to the Krusty Krab, hoping that he’ll be impressed with SpongeBob’s skills there. After watching SpongeBob prepare and serve food like some kind of ninja chef (I know it sounds silly but I really don’t know how else to describe it, also it is pretty silly), Fuzzy starts to think that he may have judged SpongeBob too quickly. He tries to attack SpongeBob to see him in action, and SpongeBob unknowingly defeats him through sheer luck. Fuzzy decides that SpongeBob does deserve a black belt after all, and that Sandy deserves her blacker belt.

For some reason Fuzzy’s (that name still sounds far too cute) voice really bothered me. Every time he opened his mouth to say something, it took me out of the episode. I think it’s because the voice didn’t seem to match how the character was designed or his personality, or maybe the voice actor just isn’t that good. Whatever it was, it was really distracting.  I don’t even dislike Fuzzy as a character, I actually think he’s one of the better one-time characters that we’ve seen post-movie, and perhaps pre-movie as well, but his voice was so off-putting. I’m probably the only one who feels this way, though.

Getting past his voice, I do think Fuzzy is a fairly good character. He’s not great, but he serves his purpose well. He’s dignified and imposing but can also get in some moments of humor that don’t feel forced. His arrogance and bullying nature make him hard to like as a person, but easy to like as a character since he’s supposed to be antagonistic (yes, there is a big difference between liking someone as a character and liking someone as a person). What I find kind of cool about Fuzzy is that he actually learns his lesson at the end of the episode and apologizes for his behavior. I can’t think of any other one-time antagonists on the show who have done this, usually they’re pretty one-note (though admittedly in an entertaining way) and don’t really learn anything in the end, Fuzzy actually has something resembling a character arc, and once again it doesn’t feel forced. Hm, the more I think about it, Fuzzy is a pretty great one-time character. I actually could see him appearing in more episodes, unlike most one-time characters. Too bad about that voice.

I also really loved Sandy in this episode. I will never understand why so many people in this fandom hate Sandy. Next to SpongeBob, I think she’s the most likable character on the show, as well as one of the best overall. This episode demonstrates why she’s so likable. She’s extremely kind and she believes in SpongeBob so much, despite all of his failures. She encourages him and stands up for him when Fuzzy treats him badly. I also like that she was hesitant to fight SpongeBob when she saw how exhausted SpongeBob was. I mean, it only lasts a second because she’s under pressure from Fuzzy (and it would disrupt the pace of the episode if they dwelled on this too much), but I liked that they slipped that line in. It shows that she cares about her friend’s well-being and values fair play.

SpongeBob was pretty good too, though there isn’t as much to say about him. You definitely feel for him when he’s denied his Karate belt and his tenacity is admirable, but besides that he’s just kind of there. Funny, since I think he is supposed to be the focus of the episode, but since Fuzzy is the one with the arc the focus shifts to him.

The humor is the weakest part of the episode, but it’s not even that weak. None of the jokes are really worth writing home about, but they are amusing and I got a giggle here and there. I especially liked that bit of meta humor where Sandy is monologue-ing her plan to bringing Fuzzy to the Krusty Krab and Fuzzy asks her who she’s talking to.

If it’s not clear yet, I loved this episode. I thought it was pretty fantastic. It’s entertaining, it’s well-paced, it’s a decent story with really good execution, and the character were great.

Rating: 8.5/10

That title card looks very much like a scene from Pre-hibernation Week.

The first three minutes of this episode are dull and drag for way too long. Plus there’s a weird part with a bonsai tree that makes me pretty certain Squidward is taking drugs. All you need to know is that SpongeBob and Patrick get bored of blowing regular bubbles and instead start blowing hot sauce bubbles. They go to visit Sandy and find her fixing the oxygen tank connected to her treedome. Apparently she’s running low on oxygen. SpongeBob blows some hot sauce bubbles at the tank and as we all know hot sauce is equivalent to acid in the world of cartoons, so the oxygen tank melts. Sandy only has a few minutes of oxygen left in her suit, so she must go to the surface in her submarine and replenish her air supply. SpongeBob opens the door of the submarine and water rushes in. Nice going, genius. The lack of oxygen is making Sandy woozy, so she tells SpongeBob that he has to drive the submarine to the surface for her. Um, have you seen SpongeBob drive? Actually, SpongeBob drives it quite well until Sandy, who is basically drunk from the lack of oxygen, grabs the wheel from SpongeBob and crashes the submarine into the Krusty Krab. Now the gang must find air for Sandy (who has removed her helmet and smashed it on the ground) before she dies. They give her some air bubbles and have Pearl, who technically is also an air-breather, share her air with Sandy. However, SpongeBob knows he has to get Sandy more air from the surface, so using an oxygen tank (seriously?) as a jetpack, he reaches the surface, blows a bubble full of air, and brings it back down to Sandy’s treedome.

The beginning of this episode really does drag for too long. It shouldn’t take three minutes to tell me that SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing hot sauce bubbles.

Things do start to pick up once they get to Sandy’s house, though. I was a little disappointed that the episode didn’t take place on the surface as I had expected it to, but it was amusing nonetheless. Weird, but amusing. The methods they found of giving Sandy air were actually pretty creative, and I liked how they acknowledged that Pearl is actually a mammal and needs to breathe air too. Kind of a random, trivial thing to like, I know, but I just like it when they acknowledge little facts like that. It makes me wonder what side Pearl would have been on if she’d been part of the land vs water debate in Pressure. Also, I kind of want to see an episode where Sandy and Pearl bond over being air-breathers now. What.

Seeing Sandy drunk from the lack of air was actually pretty funny and weirdly adorable (I don’t know I have a weird definition of adorable okay), and it’s rare that we see her in a vulnerable position like this, so it was kind of refreshing. I mean, I love my tough, bad ass, heroic Sandy, but I also like to see something different now and then, and Sandy in a vulnerable position is different. She spends so much time saving everyone else, it’s nice to see them return the favor for once.

Patrick was also really funny in this episode. It feels weird to say that since my last review included a rant on how Patrick isn’t as funny as he used to be and I definitely still stand by that rant. But… he was funny in this one. I hope this isn’t just a fluke.

The story-telling and pacing are a bit shaky, but I thought it was a fairly entertaining episode. It’s really strange, but also fun and an interesting idea for an episode.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (A Friendly Game/Sentimental Sponge)

SpongeBob and Patrick want to play golf (apparently those two like golf now?) but it starts to rain. So, the two decide to make their own golf course in SpongeBob’s house. Squidward is trying to sleep but the noise from their construction is making it impossible. Squidward threatens them not to wake him up again so the two try to keep quiet as they begin their game. Things quickly get out of hand as the two start to take the game too seriously. They accidentally send their balls smashing through SpongeBob’s window and into Squidward’s house. SpongeBob wants to end the game, but Patrick insists that they continue playing, so they enter Squidward’s house and continue their game, destroying Squidward’s house in the process. And Squidward doesn’t wake up until the very end?! Jesus, he’s a heavy sleeper.

I liked the idea behind the episode and its simplicity. I liked how creative SpongeBob and Patrick got with their golf course. I liked how competitive SpongeBob and Patrick were getting over something so trivial, I love it when characters compete with each other. The jokes were mostly hit-and-miss. The story moved at a decent pace, it never felt too slow or too rushed. Already it looks like the story-telling is improving from Season 7, thank God.

What I don’t like about the episode is that it did feel slightly mean-spirited. Just a little bit. It’s nowhere near as bad as something like A Nightmare for Gary A Pal for Gary, and to be fair there are a lot of episodes that end with Squidward’s house being destroyed. There are also a lot of episodes that end with SpongeBob’s house being destroyed. And the Krusty Krab being destroyed. And the Chum Bucket being destroyed. And Bikini Bottom being destroyed. What is it with this show and destroying shit? Anyway, I think the difference here is that SpongeBob and Patrick destroyed his house from the inside while Squidward was sleeping, so they’re basically breaking and entering. And destroying. And they don’t even care. Pretty typical of post-movie SpongeBob and Patrick I guess, but they’ve been improving lately and this feels like a step backwards, which is probably why it bothers me as much as it does.

Oh well, it’s still a decent episode, but I think I would have liked it more if they’d kept the game in SpongeBob’s house and just made it about the competition between him and Patrick.

Rating: 6/10

SpongeBob is doing his spring cleaning and throwing out a bunch of his old junk. Patrick sees what he’s throwing out and scolds him for throwing away such valuable memories. SpongeBob takes this to heart and starts saving everything. Literally, everything. Eventually his house starts to overflow and his junk starts to spill onto Squidward’s lawn. Disgusted by the mess, Squidward calls the sanitation police. They threaten to condemn both SpongeBob’s house and Squidward’s house if the mess isn’t cleaned up. SpongeBob still doesn’t want to part with his junk, so Squidward suggests that he takes pictures of it all before throwing it away. They do so, but SpongeBob takes so many pictures that his house overflows once again.

Honestly, this is probably the most relatable episode for me since Procrastination. I’m a total pack rat, I can’t stand throwing anything away because almost everything holds sentimental value for me. I mean, I can throw things away if I know it’s useless to hold on to it and I definitely don’t let things go to extremes like they do in this episode. Don’t worry, you won’t be seeing me on Hoarders any time soon. I just have a really hard time throwing things away and there’s usually a short period of anxiety after I do so.

Of course, this episode really does go to extremes, but it’s SpongeBob, so it’s to be expected. SpongeBob’s unwillingness to let go of items that hold sentimental value is something I can relate to, which is why I can’t help liking this episode just a little bit. I know a lot of people dislike this episode for being gross and just not very funny, and they’re right, but I can’t bring myself to dislike this thing. Though I’m not in a hurry to watch it again, either.

Rating: 6/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (You Don’t Know Sponge/Tunnel of Glove)

SpongeBob and Patrick take a “friendship quiz”, a quiz where you must answer questions about your best friend to see how well you know each other. SpongeBob answers all of the questions about Patrick correctly, but Patrick can’t get a single question about SpongeBob right. He can’t even get his gender right. Something tells me Patrick would get along well with the professors from Pokémon. This makes SpongeBob question their friendship, since Patrick appears to know nothing about SpongeBob at all. SpongeBob decides to never speak to Patrick again, but the next day he finds Patrick hanging out with Larry the Lobster, of all people. Confused and jealous, SpongeBob follows them, trying to figure out what the two could possibly be doing together. He eventually confronts them and Patrick tells SpongeBob that Larry was helping him pick out a gift for SpongeBob. Um, that still doesn’t quite explain things. Why is Larry helping him pick out a gift? Even Squidward would make more sense than Larry. Anyway, Patrick gives SpongeBob the gift and all is forgiven.

Well, the pacing and story-telling in this episode is an improvement. The conflict doesn’t take too long to set up and from there the story develops well enough. It’s a simple story, which I usually prefer, and it’s very focused on characters’ emotions and relationships. As someone who’s always far more interested in character than anything else, I like this as well.

So, from a story-telling standpoint, I quite liked this episode. Unfortunately that’s really all the episode has going for it. There were very few jokes in the episode and most of the ones it did have were not all that funny. The one joke I did laugh at was when Squidward threw his boot at SpongeBob in annoyance and then said, “There’s three more where that came from!” Yeah, that made me laugh, but even that doesn’t quite make sense. Since when does Squidward wear boots? The guy doesn’t even wear pants.

Even the story, though I liked it for the most part, fell apart for me a bit at the end. I don’t like the resolution. Everything is forgiven because Patrick buys SpongeBob a random gift? If the gift was something that SpongeBob has always wanted, it might have worked, but there’s no hint that the gift Patrick gave him was anything SpongeBob had a particular desire for. It was just a random gift. Um, how does that resolve the whole Patrick-knows-nothing-about-SpongeBob conflict? Patrick wasn’t even aware that SpongeBob was mad at him to begin with, so how is this a good resolution? I guess the point was to show that even if Patrick can’t remember much about SpongeBob due to his extreme stupidity, he still thinks about his friend and cares about him, but I couldn’t help feeling unsatisfied with the end of this episode because I feel that the actual conflict wasn’t given a proper resolution. SpongeBob remembers everything about Patrick, but Patrick can’t remember anything about SpongeBob. It makes their friendship seem very one-sided. The lack of balance in their relationship bothers me. I know that their friendship isn’t always portrayed in such an unbalanced way so I shouldn’t be too upset, but if you’re going to make an episode that centers around how unbalanced it is the least you could do is make sure the ending actually does restore some balance.

Okay, so, weak humor, decent story-telling up until the end, and a brief appearance from Sandy in which she’s very likable (you know the writers need to start using a character more when even a brief cameo is enough to earn the episode a point or two). I guess we can call this episode mediocre-ish.

Rating: 4/10

Pearl and her friends are at Glove World where they run into SpongeBob and Patrick. Pearl is embarrassed to have SpongeBob talking to her and she tries to avoid him for the rest of the day. This proves to be impossible when the two end up riding the Tunnel of Glove together by chance. The ride breaks down with SpongeBob and Pearl trapped inside and the two are stuck in it for hours. Meanwhile, Patrick is trying to rescue them, but he only makes the situation worse, continuously messing with the mechanics of the ride and making it even more dangerous for SpongeBob and Pearl. Eventually they make it out, and Pearl confesses that she actually had fun.

This episode is widely regarded as the best of Season 7 and one of the best of post-movie overall. I never actually had an inkling of what the episode was like from seeing/hearing people talk about it, I just knew that everyone considered it good. Naturally I’ve been curious about the episode for a while and was quite excited to finally watch it.

I have to admit, I’m disappointed.

My first problem with the episode was this: PEARL. God, I hate Pearl. I believe I’ve mentioned my hatred for Pearl before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever explained exactly why I dislike her so much. The reason is simple: she’s the archetypal teenage girl, a spoiled, shallow, whiny brat whose only concern is her own social status. Yeah, you see this archetype all the time in various shows, movies and books. And I always hate it. This archetype isn’t likable, nor is it funny enough to make up for being so unlikable and it’s actually a bit offensive, so I have no idea why shows are so fond of using this archetype. Maybe it’s because I practically skipped my “teenager” phase, making it difficult for me to relate to teenager archetypes, but the spoiled teen girl archetype is one I’ve always carried an intense dislike for. At least in this show Pearl is only a minor character and one of the lesser seen ones at that, so I don’t have to put up with her much, but that doesn’t make it any easier when I do need to put up with her.

In some episodes, like The Chaperone, Whale of a Birthday or The Slumber Party, Pearl is less bothersome. I think the reason for this is because those episodes have enough going on or enough characters in them for Pearl to bounce off of, so her presence isn’t as irritating because there’s other things to focus on instead. I can’t say that for Tunnel of Glove. The story is very simple and contained to one scenario/setting; the characters are few and there’s only one that Pearl has significant interaction with throughout the episode. It’s hard not to focus on Pearl, therefore it’s hard not to feel annoyed by her.

I will give Pearl one compliment: I like that she at least took the initiative to try and get out of the ride herself. That was pretty cool and I have to admit, seeing her determination and toughness in such a situation made me gain a bit of respect for her. Unfortunately, these traits are buried under a lot of whining even within the episode, but I still can’t help admiring them. Maybe if these traits were developed more and her bratty attitude was emphasized less, I could tolerate and perhaps even like Pearl.

Now, let’s move on to my other problem with Patrick. I’ve mentioned before how Patrick and I have kind of a rocky (pun not intended) relationship. I like the guy and he can make me laugh pretty damn hard sometimes, but other times he’s far too stupid for my liking and I kind of want to punch him in the face. Yeah. I’ve never been a fan of the writers making Patrick continuously mess up and endanger the lives of other characters because LOL HEZ STOOPID LOLOLOL. And that’s basically the majority of the episode. Patrick messes up, endangers SpongeBob and Pearl even more, tries to fix it, messes up again, rinse and repeat. I’m rarely a fan of Patrick’s stupidity being taken to an extreme the way it is here.

My final problem is a simple one that doesn’t require much explanation: I don’t care for the jokes in this episode. They’re not exactly bad, I mean I can’t think of one that made me cringe or anything like that, but I can’t think of one that made me laugh either. I can barely remember any jokes from the episode at all, in fact. And I just watched it a few hours ago. Not a good sign.

Okay, that was a lot of complaining, and it’s probably making it sound like I hate the episode more than I do, so let’s get to the (admittedly few) positive things about the episode.

I like the idea. Two characters being stuck in a broken ride together? Sounds like it could make a good Graveyard Shift-esque episode. Unfortunately, I don’t like half of the pairing that was chosen for this idea. SpongeBob and Squidward probably would have been a funnier and more enjoyable pairing for something like this, though I guess getting Squidward into Glove World would be difficult to explain considering his hatred of socializing and, um, having fun. It wouldn’t be impossible to get him there, it would just require a bit more thought and work. SpongeBob and Sandy is another possibility that could have worked well for this episode, but who are we kidding? It’s Sandy Cheeks. She’d find a way out of the ride in less than a minute. I forgot what point I was trying to make. Why is staying on topic so hard? Okay, what I was trying to say is that I like the idea of the episode, but I think I would have liked it more if someone who wasn’t Pearl was involved in it instead. Not just because I dislike Pearl, but because I don’t think Pearl and SpongeBob have a particularly interesting dynamic. Actually, Mr. Krabs and Pearl might have been an interesting pairing for something like this.

Another thing I liked was that scene where the robots in the ride malfunction and try to attack SpongeBob and Pearl. Y’all know I’m a fan of dark imagery, and I thought the sinister look of the robots as they surround SpongeBob and Pearl was cool. Suddenly I was really interested in what was going to happen. Too bad the robots-malfunctioning idea didn’t actually go anywhere.

Long review is long. Let’s wrap this up.

I’m not sure what to do with this episode. I like some of the ideas in the episode and I can see why other people love this episode so much, but I have too many personal issues with it to really like it.

Rating: 4.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Greasy Buffoons/Model Sponge)

Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob clean out the grease trap under the Krusty Krab and then dump the grease on the Chum Bucket’s property rather than disposing of it properly. Plankton discovers the grease the next morning and is disgusted, but then he tastes it and realizes that it would make his food delicious. And so, he starts using ridiculous amounts of grease in his food and attracts many customers because of it. Krabs, wanting to compete with Plankton, slathers his food with even more grease. The two keep trying to one-up each other with how much grease their food uses, until both are literally serving nothing but grease. SpongeBob is concerned that this is extremely unhealthy for the Bikini Bottomites, so he calls a health inspector (not the one from Nasty Patty, unfortunately). The health inspector shuts down both the Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket until Krabs and Plankton “clean up their acts”, or in other words, until they clean the grease (which is all over their restaurants) off their property and use less of it in their food. SpongeBob soaks up all of the grease and says that he’ll dispose of it properly.

This episode isn’t very popular, mostly because of how disgusting it is. It is pretty disgusting, but I honestly loved this episode.

Greasy Buffoons is like Hocus Pocus or The Two Faces of Squidward in the sense that its main purpose is just be as wacky and silly as possible. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as it’s done well. I like it when an episode tries to be more clever, but sometimes it’s nice to just enjoy something silly simply because it’s silly. Sometimes, nautical nonsense is all that I wish for from this show.

That being said, it is possible to combine wackiness and cleverness, which Greasy Buffoons does. The jokes in this episode are hilarious, and some of them are actually witty. This exchange, for example:

• Mr. Krabs: This is our latest product! It’s pure grease on a paper plate!
• Squidward: I’ll give you points for honesty.

Squidward, this is why you’re my favorite.

But really, I love that exchange not only because it’s funny, but because it makes a point about fast-food. In fact, the whole episode makes a point about fast-food and how unhealthy it is. The grossness of this episode is justified in my eyes because it’s trying to show us (kids in particular) that we need to watch what we eat. It’s like a funnier, more kid-friendly version of Super Size Me.

Another thing I love about this episode is that is does something with the Plankton-Krabs dynamic that, as far as I can remember, we have never seen before. This episode is a back-and-forth competition between the two, with each one-upping the other in turn. Usually their competition is very one-sided, with one being on top (that’s what she said?) and the other struggling to catch up until the end of the episode. Or it’s the usual Plankton-tries-to-steal-the-formula-and-eventually-fails story. In Greasy Buffoons, neither Krabs nor Plankton is the victor, nor is the episode about Plankton trying to get the formula. Instead, success goes back and forth between the two, and even at the end of the episode there’s no winner. It’s interesting because we’ve never seen something like this before, and it makes for a very funny and very entertaining episode. A lot of my favorite episodes are about characters trying to compete with each other, I think there’s a lot of humor to be found in competition, so Greasy Buffoons was right up my alley.

So, as unpopular as this opinion may be, I really adore this episode. The characters were all at their best, the jokes were hilarious, the story was different as well as entertaining, and it actually has a decent moral for kids.

Rating: 10/10

SpongeBob overhears Mr. Krabs on the phone, talking to someone about how he needs to “let the little guy go”. Krabs is talking about his pet clam, but SpongeBob thinks Krabs is talking about him, and that he’s going to be fired. He leaves the Krusty Krab and tries to find a job elsewhere. Nothing seems right for him until he gets a part in a commercial that needs a sponge. He arrives on set the next day, and discovers that the commercial is for a cleaning utensil… which happens to be SpongeBob. After being rubbed over the disgusting, grimy surfaces on the set, SpongeBob quits. He begs for Mr. Krabs to give him his job back, which Krabs does, and they live happily ever after or something.

There’s too much filler and build-up in this episode before the actual plot kicks in, but besides that I can’t find much wrong with this episode. However, I can’t find much that’s particularly good about this episode either. There were a few funny parts, but there wasn’t really anything that made me laugh out loud, the most I did was smile. Well, there was one thing that made me laugh. I like the exchange where Patrick suggests that SpongeBob gets a job as a billboard, and SpongeBob replies that he doesn’t think that’s physically possible. That got a laugh out of me only because it reminds me of a scene from Red vs Blue:

Basically, this episode falls into the “decent” category.

Rating: 6.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 5 (Blackened Sponge/Mermaid Man vs. SpongeBob)

The episode starts with SpongeBob having a dream about fighting a villain named Jack M. Crazyfish. He wakes up and goes to brush his teeth, but he gives himself a black eye while trying to open up the toothpaste. SpongeBob is embarrassed that he gave himself a black eye in such a stupid way, so he tells everyone that he got the black eye while fighting Jack M. Crazyfish. He becomes increasingly arrogant as the episode goes on, but then Jack M. Crazyfish turns out to be real and comes to the Krusty Krab looking for SpongeBob. SpongeBob is terrified and tells everyone the real story of how he got the black eye (he reenacts it as he tells it and gives himself another black eye). He begs Jack M. Crazyfish for mercy, but Crazyfish is only there because he had heard that SpongeBob makes great Krabby Patties.

This episode is pretty much your standard something-goes-to-SpongeBob’s-head-and-he-becomes-an-arrogant-jerk plot, much like As Seen on TV and MuscleBob BuffPants. There really isn’t much to set this episode apart from those two, but for what it is it’s okay.

I’d also like to point out that when you see the sign in front of the Krusty Krab in this episode, it actually says Krysty Krab instead. I’m not sure if that was done on purpose or not, and if it was… why? Either way I’m not complaining because that typo was the funniest thing in the episode.

Rating: 5/10

Mr. Krabs is giving away Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy themed toys to kids, which gives Plankton the idea to brainwash Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and make them draw people away from the Krusty Krab. He uses mind control shampoo to hypnotize them and the two retired heroes are turned into vicious zombies. They destroy the retirement home, beat up SpongeBob, and tell everyone that they hate Krabby Patties and that their favorite restaurant is the Chum Bucket. Everyone decides to start eating at the Chum Bucket instead because apparently they can’t think for themselves. SpongeBob gives Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Krabby Patties to eat, thinking that it will save them from being brainwashed. But it doesn’t. Wait, seriously? SpongeBob’s Krabby Patties aren’t going to save the day this time? How refreshing! Oh, wait, never mind. The problem is that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy aren’t digesting the Patties fast enough so SpongeBb gives them some fiber and they return to their normal selves and everyone leaves the Chum Bucket. Sigh.

Well, another Plankton episode. Too bad this one sucked. Okay, that’s kind of harsh. It’s not a terrible episode, I’ve definitely seen worse, but it’s still not very good. Like, at all. There’s nothing that funny in it and it’s pretty boring. I’m disappointed because I’ve always wanted an episode where Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy interact with Plankton (I don’t count MM and BB VI because I can’t remember them talking to each other or even being on screen together), but this one is rather lackluster.

I did enjoy Man Ray’s brief cameo, since I’ve always thought he was one of the funnier minor characters, and for some reason I thought seeing MM and BB all vicious and crazy-looking while brainwashed was pretty bad ass. I just wish we’d gotten to see them cause more mayhem… is that weird? It’s probably weird.

One more thing, how come this episode isn’t called Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VII? Are we not doing that anymore? Why does that thought make me really sad?

Rating: 3/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 5 (The Krusty Sponge/Sing a Song of Patrick)

A food critic gives SpongeBob’s cooking a really good review, so Mr. Krabs begins exploiting SpongeBob for all he’s worth. He renames the restaurant “The Krusty Sponge”; he puts a SpongeBob-themed ride (which needs to be pedaled to work and SpongeBob is forced to do this no matter how exhausted he gets) in front; he makes Squidward wear a SpongeBob costume (why? What’s wrong with the real SpongeBob?); he sells people “Spongey Patties”, which are actually just patties that have rotted and turned yellow. Everyone gets sick from eating Spongey Patties and they sue Mr. Krabs. He gets out of it by letting the judge have Squidward pedal him around the ride as many times as he wants (while being whipped). Couldn’t resist putting some Squid Abuse in the episode, could you, writers?

This episode isn’t very good. There are a few funny bits, but most of it is boring, and there’s too much mean-spirited treatment of both Squidward and SpongeBob while Krabs, the real jerk in this episode, goes unpunished. I don’t like it when punishments go to characters who don’t deserve it while the ones who do deserve it get a free pass. Krabs is awful in this episode, which in itself doesn’t necessarily bother me because, let’s face it, Krabs has pretty much always been horrible. But I like him anyway because he’s funny and he usually gets his comeuppance in the end (and to be fair he does have moments where he’s kind and pleasant). Think about episodes like Krabby Land, where Krabs cheats a bunch of children out of their money, or One Krabs Trash, where Krabs cheats a bunch of people out of their money, tries to take away something SpongeBob loves for profit and robs a grave. Yeah, that’s terrible, but at least Krabs gets what he deserves in both episodes. In The Krusty Sponge, he’s let off the hook while Squidward (who didn’t do anything wrong) is punished instead. That pisses me off. If you’re going to make your characters horrible for the sake of comedy, fine, but at least make sure they get what they deserve. This episode probably would have earned at least a couple more points if it had been Krabs who had to pedal the judge around at the end.

I have a feeling this episode was meant to be a meta commentary on how much of an icon SpongeBob has become in the real world and how slapping his face on a product increases sales exponentially. Clever, if that is the case.

Rating: 1/10

Patrick writes a song that’s so horrible it makes the band who was forced to record it die and everyone who hears it goes insane. That’s it.

I actually found this episode decent, which is kind of surprising because I wasn’t expecting to like it at all. It’s no secret that I’m not a huge fan of Patrick, especially post-movie, but he was pretty funny here. The plot is ridiculously stupid, but I can forgive that as long as the episode makes me laugh, which this one did. It’s ultimately not very memorable, though.

Rating: 6/10