SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 Overview

I finally got this done almost a week after finishing Season 7. Totally on the ball here, clearly.

This overview was hard to write because I’m having difficulty thinking about this season as a whole. It feels really disjointed in my head, probably because I basically just watched an episode whenever I had time and then wrote the review whenever I had time, unlike previous seasons where I had a routine. Well, I did my best.

As usual, I calculated the average of my ratings, and what I came up with was 4.4.

That sounds about right. Although I think Season 4 got a lower score than Season 7 did, Season 7 is my least favorite season so far. Partly because it has my two least favorite episode ever in it, but mostly because it’s just a weak season overall. When I look back on it I’m left with an underwhelming sense of mediocrity. That’s really what most of the episodes in this season were: mediocre. Most had good premises, but thanks to sloppy story-telling and lazy writing they couldn’t rise above the “meh” category. Season 5 was similarly mediocre and forgettable, but Season 7 is slightly worse because of… well…

 

AAAH! BACK, DEMONS! BACK TO THE FIERY CHASM FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!

Um, sorry. Those episodes send me to weird places.

Anyway, even if I could get past those two abominations, it doesn’t make up for the near constant stream of mediocre episodes that was Season 7. Even some of the episodes that I liked probably can’t be considered technically “good”. I liked Someone’s in the Kitchen With Sandy, but more as a guilty pleasure. To be perfectly honest, it’s a pretty bad episode. I loved Squidward in Clarinetland, but only because I’m a fan of dark, weird, trippy imagery in animation. It’s not a very popular episode and I can see why, it’s not for everyone. I liked Enchanted Tiki Dreams, but more for the sentiment than for the strength of the story, characters, writing or humor. It’s a nice episode, but not something I’d go out of my way to watch again and for that reason I probably should have given it a lower score than I did. I loved Greasy Buffoons and I do consider that episode genuinely good, but I’m apparently in the minority there since most people dislike it.

Something noteworthy about this season is that it really upped the ante with dark episodes. One Coarse Meal, Sponge-Cano!, Whelk Attack, Squidward in Clarinetland, Back to the Past and a few other episodes had really dark elements to them. I love dark stories and dark humor, but unfortunately the writers rarely handled their dark themes well.  For example, legitimate suicide attempts brought on by psychological torment should not be played for laughs. I can’t emphasize this enough. You know, I probably would have liked One Coarse Meal if it had been handled differently, but the dark themes of that episode were turned into something really distasteful and sadistic. Other episodes either glanced over their dark elements or handled them in similarly distasteful ways, only a few actually pulled them off. It’s a shame, because I really am a fan of dark stuff and some of these episode could have been great, but it’s evident that the writers can’t always handle dark themes properly.

One good thing did come from the darker themes, though: darker animation and imagery. I’ve always been a fan of nightmarish imagery and creepy designs, and the animators pulled it off pretty well. One Coarse Meal, as much as I despise that episode, had a great nightmare sequence that was probably the most enjoyable part of the episode. Squidward in Clarinetland pretty much speaks for itself. Back to the Past had a great design for the enslaved Bikini Bottom, where everything looked cold and joyless. It was really effective for what the episode was trying to get across. I think Season 7 is the most visually interesting season (even most of its title cards had interesting designs) so far. Unfortunately, cool visuals don’t make up for bad writing and story-telling.

Time to talk about characters, starting with our porous hero. Excluding the abomination known as A Pal For Gary and a few other episodes, it seems like SpongeBob is starting to become more and more like his lovable pre-movie self. He’s becoming less oblivious, less stupid and less stalker-like and regaining the kind, innocent, quirky personality that I love.

Squidward still retains a lot of the personality traits that I’ve always loved in him, such as his sarcasm and his passion, but… seriously, dude, you need to lighten up. He’s still too hateful, too mean and too depressed to a point where it makes me uncomfortable. Like I’ve said before, grumpy and cynical is one thing, I love it when he’s grumpy and cynical, but we’ve crossed the line of moderation. He often acts as though there’s nothing good in his life, like his life isn’t even worth living. He hardly ever shows any signs of happiness, and when he does it’s usually at someone else’s expense, namely SpongeBob’s. Squidward is supposed to be a jerk, but he’s also supposed to have this thing called a heart. Please refer to Dying For Pie or Christmas Who? for examples, writers.

Patrick is more or less the same as he ever was, I don’t have much to say about him. He does seem to be meaner and more selfish than he used to be, as well as stupider (if that’s possible), but the changes made to his character aren’t that noticeable or bothersome to me, maybe because I’ve never been a huge fan of Patrick to begin with. I often see/hear people complaining that Patrick used to be a sophisticated idiot and now he’s just an idiot. Uh, what does that mean exactly? Can someone explain it to me in the comments or something? I really don’t notice much different about Patrick except that he’s less funny than he used to be.

Mr. Krabs… whoa. This was not a good season for him. One Coarse Meal had him at his absolute worst and I can’t see him ever being more unlikable than he was there. The Cent of Money didn’t do him any favors either. As I’ve mentioned before, I think Krabs should have a bit of a warped morality, it’s where a lot of his funnier lines come from and it helps make the show less black-and-white. I’m fine with him playing the role of the antagonist sometimes, one thing I like about this show is that every character can serve as both an antagonist and a protagonist depending on the episode. However, unlike Plankton, Krabs isn’t meant to be thought of as a villain. Despite his faults, he’s still supposed to be one of the “good guys”. Lately it seems like the writers have been trying to suck all of the likability out of Krabs. I’d find it more forgivable if he was at least making me laugh, but he hasn’t been making me laugh much lately. There have been a couple of episodes this season where I actually though Krabs was being portrayed decently, but they’re unfortunately overshadowed by episodes like One Coarse Meal. I still want to like Krabs, but the writers aren’t making it easy. Hopefully he’ll improve in the next seasons.

I think everyone knows by now that I not only adore Plankton, I also adore Plankton episodes. I often see/hear people complaining about the number of Plankton episodes there are post-movie. You’ll never hear that complaint from me for a couple of reasons. One, why would I not want to see more of Plankton and Karen, two characters that I love to death? Two, I’ve loved most of the Plankton episodes post-movie, I’ve found a lot of them funny, clever and creative (and a few were surprisingly heartwarming). I actually get excited for Plankton episodes. Three, Plankton and Karen (who I’ll get to later) are easily the best post-movie characters. Plankton is the only main character (excluding Gary) who’s been allowed to retain some depth and who hasn’t had any detrimental changes made to his character. Although I still consider Squidward my favorite character, I can’t call him the best post-movie character (but he’s definitely the best pre-movie character, let’s make no mistake about that). Squidward and other characters have lost much of the charm and depth that they used to have. Although a few of them seem to be recovering it, they haven’t quite reached their former glory. Plankton never lost his former glory. His character has undergone a few changes, but overall he’s still the incompetent but relentless evil genius we know and love. Unfortunately, the writers really dropped the ball when it came to Plankton episodes this season. Most of them were just ripoffs variations of former (and much better) Plankton episodes (most commonly Imitation Krabs for some reason, I guess the writers really like that episode?), and one of the few that wasn’t ended up being my least favorite episode so far. The Great Patty Caper at least was a good episode that didn’t copy any former ones, excluding perhaps its title, and Perfect Chemistry was a fun, unique episode, but the other Plankton episodes in this season were a huge disappointment. Come on, writers, I know you can do better than this. Anyway, at least Plankton himself was still great this season, especially in The Great Patty Caper and Perfect Chemistry, where he felt like a villain for the first time in a while.  I look forward to seeing what the writers will do with him in the seasons that follow.

Sandy had few appearances this season, but she did start appearing more often toward the end of it. She even got to star in the last episode of the season, Perfect Chemistry, alongside Plankton. Unfortunately, I’m starting to notice something troubling about how the writers are using Sandy’s character: I think they’re starting to use her as their safety net. The writers know that Sandy is the most competent character on the show, possessing incredible physical strength and great intellect to boot. It’s easy to have Sandy come in to save the day without anyone questioning it or having it seem suspicious. So, when the writers need to resolve an episode quickly and easily, they can just get Sandy to do it. I love Sandy and I love seeing her save the day, but it works a lot better if she was more involved in the antics beforehand rather than having her come out of left field with a solution. Perfect Chemistry had her involved in the antics, but her solution to the conflict at the end was way too contrived and anticlimactic. She’s starting to feel like more of a plot-device than a character. I’m happy to see more of her and I’m happy to see her be the hero of the episode, but I’d like it to be in ways that are less forced and contrived. At least Sandy still has her fun, likable personality and even her scientist side is starting to feel more natural.

Gary. What is there to say about Gary? He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s surprisingly bad ass, and there’s really no way to screw up his character. All he has to do is say “meow”. Understandably, Gary’s personality has never been quite as engaging or stood out as much as other characters, but it’s impressive that they’ve managed to give Gary as much of a personality as they did with such a limited vocabulary to work with. Even more impressive, they’ve stayed consistent with that personality, giving Gary a recognizable identity despite him not being the most interesting of characters. Gary’s role is simple: he’s SpongeBob’s pet. This makes Gary a very limited character. He doesn’t have much of a reason to interact with other characters and the only significant relationship he has is the one he has with SpongeBob. He also doesn’t have much of a reason to leave the pineapple, confining him to one setting the majority of the time. Lately, the writers have been experimenting with Gary a bit more, broadening his scope and giving him a bit more leeway. A few episodes this season, like Gary in Love and The Cent of Money, had Gary leaving the pineapple and interacting with new characters. It seems like the writers are trying to make Gary less limited and more involved in the show as a whole. I’m all for it. But there is one problem… Gary Abuse. Oh God, the Gary Abuse! As I’ve mentioned before, Gary Abuse is my least favorite type of character abuse. Seeing that cute little mollusk suffer is unbearable for me, and this season was rather heavy on Gary Abuse (A Pal For Gary, anyone?). I’m all for Gary having more of a role in the show, but if that means Gary Abuse, no thanks.

Now for the minor characters. What minor character even appeared this season? I can barely remember. Squilliam was in two episodes (three if you count his extremely brief cameo in Back to the Past) and he was as fabulous as ever. His appearances were the best, funniest parts of I Heart Dancing and Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful and he really made those episodes. As far as I can remember, Mrs. Puff only appeared in Summer Job. Yeah, that wasn’t a good episode, and Mrs. Puff wasn’t very good in it. Much like Squidward, her attitude has become too hateful. It’s less bothersome on her than it is on Squidward but it still grates on me. I believe Larry appeared briefly in a few episodes? He didn’t leave much of an impression, which probably means he was average. Then there’s Karen.

Oh, Karen. I’m glad that Karen appears at least briefly in nearly every Plankton episode, because I just adore what the writers have done with Karen. She’s the only character on the show who I think improved in post-movie. In pre-movie, Karen didn’t leave much of an impression. It wasn’t even until Season 3 that we were told her name and exactly what she was to Plankton, and that was also when they started giving her more of a personality instead of just having her be that computer in the background that would occasionally give Plankton advice. Post-movie is when Karen really started to take off, she became less of a gimmick and more like an actual character. She’s become more sarcastic, more pragmatic and more cynical. Now that I think about it, she’s sort of become another Squidward, hasn’t she? Well, lately Squidward hasn’t been a very good Squidward, Karen is actually becoming a better Squidward. Um, pretend that makes sense. My point is, I love how they’ve developed Karen’s character and I love the way she and Plankton work off of each other. She’s hilarious, entertaining, and surprisingly faceted for a minor character. But I’m not supposed to be gushing about Karen right now, I’m supposed to be talking about her representation in Season 7. As mentioned before, most of the Plankton episodes this season were bad, but Karen was probably the best part of the ones she appeared in. She even had one of her best lines yet in the worst episode yet. It’s nice to see that Karen can still do well even in bad episodes, but it would be even nicer to see her in good episodes again.

So, from a character standpoint, this season is a mixed bag. There’s still a lot that needs to be improved, but I think the writers are starting to get on the right track. Or maybe that’s just me being optimistic. We’ll see.

Overall, though, this season is nothing but a sea of mediocrity. Season 6 may have had more downs than Season 7, but it also (in my opinion) had more ups, and either way it was at least interesting. Season 7 isn’t. It’s bland, forgettable, and underwhelming. I like a lot of what it was trying to do, but it just didn’t deliver.

I’ve heard a lot of good things about Seasons 8 and 9. Apparently they’re major improvements over Seasons 4-7 and I’ve even heard them called the “Silver Era” of the show. I’ve actually already seen two episodes from Season 8. One of them I hated, and the other I loved (it was actually partly why I decided to give post-movie another chance). I’ve also seen one episode from Season 9, which I hated. I’m not going to let that sway me, though. After all, my favorite season is Season 2, and it contains I’m With Stupid and Dumped, two episodes that I can’t stand. I’m looking forward to watching Seasons 8 and 9 and cleansing myself of the blandness of Season 7.

Season Rating: 4.4/10

Best Episode: Greasy Buffoons (haters gonna hate)

Worst episode: One Coarse Meal and A Pal For Gary

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Big Sister Sam/Perfect Chemistry)

Patrick’s older sister Sam – wait, what? Patrick has a sister? This is news to me. Anyway, she comes to visit and she turns out to be a brutish cave woman who can barely form complete sentences and makes Patrick look like a genius. She constantly loses her temper and attacks SpongeBob and Squidward. And she destroys their houses. And Patrick refuses to hear a word against Sam and acts as though there’s nothing wrong with her behavior. It’s going to be one of those episodes, eh? Sigh. Eventually Patrick does realize that Sam’s temper is out of control and tells her to calm her shit (well, in a nicer way that that), so Sam attacks him. Seeing that she injured her brother, Sam is distressed. Patrick turns out to be okay, but Sam decides to leave.

Okay, so this episode has both SpongeBob and Squidward Abuse (though to be fair it’s pretty mild), an unlikable one-time character with a design that’s unpleasant to look at, and Patrick is annoyingly oblivious up until the end.

SpongeBob and Squidward were pretty much this episode’s saving graces. I like that Squidward was unwilling to take Sam’s behavior lying down and kept trying to stand up to her. Not the smartest move given that Sam obviously has physical strength far greater than Squidward, but I have to admire his tenacity. Squidward can actually be a bit of a bad ass, which is partly why I love him so much. I just love that he’ll get sassy with anyone no matter what it costs him. As for SpongeBob, I liked how he was just doing his best to keep everyone calm and happy throughout the episode. He tries to play the role of peace-keeper and fails miserably, but it’s pretty amusing to watch and I admire his effort anyway. He and Squidward were a fun duo in this episode, their different mindsets played off each other nicely and made for some funny moments between the two.

In the end, I can’t bring myself to hate this episode too much, since I did really like certain things about it. The episode is still pretty bad, though. Sam and Patrick are both really unlikable here and the humor was rather weak. Not to mention Patrick having a sister came out of nowhere.

Rating: 3.5/10

Sandy is working on a teleportation device while Plankton is working on a device that turns him into a gas so he can slip into the Krusty Krab with ease. Plankton’s experiment doesn’t go as planned. He gets blown out of the restaurant by Mr. Krabs’ fan and ends up at Sandy’s house. Sandy is impressed that Plankton managed to turn himself into a gas and by his scientific prowess. She asks him to take a look at her own failed invention and Plankton realizes that he can use the teleporter to help him with his own experiment. The two agree to help with each other’s inventions and head over to Plankton’s lab. Using SpongeBob as their guinea pig, they combine their devices and test them on SpongeBob, trying to teleport him as a gas to the Krusty Krab. Eventually they succeed, and Plankton takes control of their invention, using it to teleport himself to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is upset that Plankton has finally won, but Sandy reveals that she knew all along that Plankton would try to double-cross her, so she rigged the machine to teleport the formula to herself.

Oh, how I love the idea of this episode. Interaction between Sandy and Plankton is something we’ve never seen, except briefly in Someone’s in the Kitchen With Sandy, and I love it when the writers experiment with character interactions/dynamics. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t made an episode like this before now. If you’re going to randomly make Sandy a scientist, it would make sense to give her at least one episode with the other scientist on the show, Plankton. I loved Sandy and Plankton’s interactions in this episode. They didn’t make me laugh out loud much, at most they made me chuckle, but sometimes characters don’t necessarily need to make me laugh. Sometimes I just like to watch the characters’ personalities work off each other. Sandy and Plankton work off each other interestingly. Both are quirky geniuses with a passion for science, but Sandy’s friendly and cheerful disposition contrasts with Plankton’s not-so-friendly-and-cheerful disposition in an amusing way (Sandy’s failed attempt at an evil laugh was a great touch).

A common complaint about this episode is all of the fart jokes in it. Yeah, those got on my nerves too. I don’t mind a fart joke every now and then. They’re childish, sure, but I can put up with them. But when they’re this excessive it gets really old. I wish I could say that they’re easy to ignore, but they’re not. They’re pretty much constant throughout the episode, which is why I will have to dock a few points from it.

I also had a slight issue with the ending. Having Sandy come out and say she had been prepared for Plankton’s double-cross the entire time felt like a deus ex machina. I could understood Sandy being cautious, but that felt like a really contrived way to resolve the episode. I’m beginning to notice a slight problem with how Sandy’s character is being used, but I’ll talk about that in my Season 7 overview.

Despite these flaws, I do like Perfect Chemistry a lot. Sandy and Plankton’s interactions were gold and they really made this episode for me.

Rating: 7.5/10

And so ends Season 7! Hopefully I’ll have my Season 7 overview posted tomorrow, but it will more likely be posted later this week. I’m a busy woman.

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (New Fish in Town/Love That Squid)

Patrick is renting out his yard for some extra money, and he asks Squidward to keep an eye out for any takers while he and SpongeBob are jellyfishing. Of course Squidward has no interest in doing such a thing, but then a fish does show up with a mobile home to rent out Patrick’s yard. The fish introduces himself as Howard, and at first Squidward wants to be rid of him. Then he finds out that Howard has the same interests as him, so Squidward befriends him. Howard says that the two things he can’t stand are jellyfishers and bubble blowers, so Squidward does his best to keep SpongeBob and Patrick away from Howard, going to some pretty extreme lengths. Like pushing their houses off a cliff. You know, sometimes I think Squidward is more psychotic than people give him credit for. Anyway, Howard eventually sees SpongeBob and Patrick blowing bubbles and playing with a jellyfish, which sets him off. About to give SpongeBob and Patrick a piece of his mind, he suddenly finds himself enjoying bubble blowing and jellyfishing. This convinces Squidward that Howard isn’t someone he can be friends with, so he removes the block from behind Howard’s mobile home and it goes rolling off the cliff. Yeah, Squidward definitely has a few screws loose in his head.

Honestly this episode almost put me to sleep. I found it really boring.

It’s not a bad idea for an episode, I guess. Squidward makes a new friend and doesn’t want said friend to meet SpongeBob and Patrick. It sounds like it could be funny. Unfortunately it wasn’t. Besides the running gag with the cliff, which admittedly I did find amusing, there weren’t that many jokes in the episode. It’s mostly just Squidward trying to keep Howard from hearing SpongeBob and Patrick outside (which mostly involves some uninteresting visual gags), or it’s just Squidward and Howard talking. And their interactions aren’t that interesting, mainly due to how boring Howard is. I guess Howard being boring was sort of the point, but couldn’t they have given him at least a little spunk or something to make him less bland? I think the reason I found him so boring was his voice. It’s so monotone and it’s really annoying to listen to. Again, I guess that was the point, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on the episode, but it was just a snore-fest for me.

Rating: 2/10

A squid named Squilvia comes to the Krusty Krab and Squidward develops a crush on her. He’s too nervous to talk to her, though, so SpongeBob talks to her for him, telling her all kinds of great things about Squidward. Squilvia agrees to go out with Squidward, but now Squidward is afraid the date won’t go well. So SpongeBob suggests they go on a “practice date”. It goes about as well as you would expect. At the end of the “practice date” Squidward loses his temper and yells at SpongeBob, not knowing that Squilvia is right behind him and can hear everything he’s saying. Squidward is convinced that Squilvia now hates him and doesn’t want to go out with him, but Squilvia says that she actually likes guys who won’t put up with stupidity and still wants to go out with him.

I liked this episode more than I thought I would. Despite how my weird shipping habits make it look, romance usually bores me, so when I found out what the plot of this episode was I immediately became uninterested in it. Not that I can never enjoy romance. For some reason I adore Plankton/Karen episodes (Single Cell Anniversary ftw) and I like Krusty Love, and there are other romance-centered stories outside this show that I like, but the majority of the time I can’t stand romance. It has to be a really well done romance (or just a really funny romance like Plankton/Karen) for me to get into it.

That being said, I was pleased to see that the episode isn’t as romance-centered as I’d thought it would be. You don’t even see Squidward and Squilvia go on their date, most of the episode is focused on the practice date with SpongeBob and Squidward. And it’s actually pretty funny. It’s probably one of the funniest SpongeBob-Squidward interactions the show has had in a while and it was really enjoyable to watch. The way SpongeBob looked when dressed as Squilvia and Squidward’s horrified reaction to it was especially hilarious to me.

But who are we kidding? Obviously this episode should have been about Squidiam.

Oh yeah. That’s hot.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Krusty Dogs/The Wreck of Mauna Loa)

There’s no new RWBY episode this week, so here’s a SpongeBob review instead.

SpongeBob makes a hot dog out of leftover Krabby Patty ingredients and they seem to be popular with the customers. Mr. Krabs puts “Krusty Dogs” on the menu and they quickly become more popular than Krabby Patties, so Mr. Krabs takes Patties off the menu. SpongeBob is upset about this and wants to get rid of Krusty Dogs so that Krabby Patties can come back. Since Squidward has been given the humiliating job of dressing as a Krusty Dog and standing outside the restaurant to promote them, he agrees to help SpongeBob get rid of the Krusty Dogs. They try telling the customers that the Krusty Dogs will make them sick, but the customers apparently aren’t concerned for their health. So, SpongeBob makes an exploding Krusty Dog. The disgruntled customers leave the restaurant, prompting Mr. Krabs to put Krabby Patties back on the menu.

My God, this episode was basically one big That’s What She Said joke. See, they don’t actually refer to the Krusty Dogs by their name most of the time. They usually refer to them as “wieners”. And if you think I’m overreacting or trying too hard to make the show dirtier than it is (which some people do), just take a look at this:

No way does anyone write dialogue like that without having sexual innuendo in mind. No way can you have a character talk about wieners blowing up in people’s faces without thinking dirty. Same goes for that “12 inches of deliciousness” line from one of the customers.

I love it when the writers slip in dirty jokes, but when they’re this forced and this excessive it’s kind of awkward.

The innuendo overshadows everything else in the episode, to be honest. When I think about this episode all that comes to mind is Squidward talking about Mr. Krabs “wiener thing” blowing up in his face. Definitely not a visual I needed.

Okay, let’s just try not to think about “wieners”. Let’s try to think about the episode as a whole… oh God, don’t think about holes. Think about the episode. Okay. Um, I guess I kind of liked the idea. Mostly I like the idea of SpongeBob and Squidward working together, I wish that had been given more focus. Honestly, if you take away the innuendo, this episode is pretty boring. The jokes are kind of weak and the story is slow. The only noteworthy thing about the episode is all of the innuendo, and it’s too excessive even for my taste.

Rating: 4/10

SpongeBob and Patrick come across an abandoned ship and make it their secret hideout. Unfortunately Patrick isn’t a good secret-keeper and he lets it slip to Mr. Krabs. Krabs realizes that the ship they found is the legendary shipwreck of the Mauna Loa, which is said to contain treasure, so Mr. Krabs follows them to the hideout. There, he discovers that the ship they found is nothing more than an abandoned amusement park ride. So, Mr. Krabs fixes it (very cheaply) and charges people to ride it. Of course the ride breaks down and Krabs is arrested, and the shipwreck is closed down. SpongeBob and Patrick are upset about losing their secret hideout, but then they find the real wreck of the Mauna Loa.

Well, Krabs got what he deserved at the end of the episode. Yay, the writers are learning!

Seriously though, I kind of liked this one mainly for its simplicity, but it’s not something I’d go out of my way to watch again. I actually thought Krabs’ greed was used well here. His motivation at the beginning was understandable (who wouldn’t want treasure?) and I got some chuckles out of watching him obsessively search the ship only to be disappointed at every turn. The second half of the episode, where he “fixes” the ride, was awful of him, but I don’t mind because again I got some chuckles out of it, and it really isn’t any different from what he did in Krabby Land. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect from Krabs. Most importantly, I really am glad that Krabs got what he deserved at the end. He’s starting to become less of a Karma Houdini, which is definitely a good thing.

Rating: 6/10

 

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (You Don’t Know Sponge/Tunnel of Glove)

SpongeBob and Patrick take a “friendship quiz”, a quiz where you must answer questions about your best friend to see how well you know each other. SpongeBob answers all of the questions about Patrick correctly, but Patrick can’t get a single question about SpongeBob right. He can’t even get his gender right. Something tells me Patrick would get along well with the professors from Pokémon. This makes SpongeBob question their friendship, since Patrick appears to know nothing about SpongeBob at all. SpongeBob decides to never speak to Patrick again, but the next day he finds Patrick hanging out with Larry the Lobster, of all people. Confused and jealous, SpongeBob follows them, trying to figure out what the two could possibly be doing together. He eventually confronts them and Patrick tells SpongeBob that Larry was helping him pick out a gift for SpongeBob. Um, that still doesn’t quite explain things. Why is Larry helping him pick out a gift? Even Squidward would make more sense than Larry. Anyway, Patrick gives SpongeBob the gift and all is forgiven.

Well, the pacing and story-telling in this episode is an improvement. The conflict doesn’t take too long to set up and from there the story develops well enough. It’s a simple story, which I usually prefer, and it’s very focused on characters’ emotions and relationships. As someone who’s always far more interested in character than anything else, I like this as well.

So, from a story-telling standpoint, I quite liked this episode. Unfortunately that’s really all the episode has going for it. There were very few jokes in the episode and most of the ones it did have were not all that funny. The one joke I did laugh at was when Squidward threw his boot at SpongeBob in annoyance and then said, “There’s three more where that came from!” Yeah, that made me laugh, but even that doesn’t quite make sense. Since when does Squidward wear boots? The guy doesn’t even wear pants.

Even the story, though I liked it for the most part, fell apart for me a bit at the end. I don’t like the resolution. Everything is forgiven because Patrick buys SpongeBob a random gift? If the gift was something that SpongeBob has always wanted, it might have worked, but there’s no hint that the gift Patrick gave him was anything SpongeBob had a particular desire for. It was just a random gift. Um, how does that resolve the whole Patrick-knows-nothing-about-SpongeBob conflict? Patrick wasn’t even aware that SpongeBob was mad at him to begin with, so how is this a good resolution? I guess the point was to show that even if Patrick can’t remember much about SpongeBob due to his extreme stupidity, he still thinks about his friend and cares about him, but I couldn’t help feeling unsatisfied with the end of this episode because I feel that the actual conflict wasn’t given a proper resolution. SpongeBob remembers everything about Patrick, but Patrick can’t remember anything about SpongeBob. It makes their friendship seem very one-sided. The lack of balance in their relationship bothers me. I know that their friendship isn’t always portrayed in such an unbalanced way so I shouldn’t be too upset, but if you’re going to make an episode that centers around how unbalanced it is the least you could do is make sure the ending actually does restore some balance.

Okay, so, weak humor, decent story-telling up until the end, and a brief appearance from Sandy in which she’s very likable (you know the writers need to start using a character more when even a brief cameo is enough to earn the episode a point or two). I guess we can call this episode mediocre-ish.

Rating: 4/10

Pearl and her friends are at Glove World where they run into SpongeBob and Patrick. Pearl is embarrassed to have SpongeBob talking to her and she tries to avoid him for the rest of the day. This proves to be impossible when the two end up riding the Tunnel of Glove together by chance. The ride breaks down with SpongeBob and Pearl trapped inside and the two are stuck in it for hours. Meanwhile, Patrick is trying to rescue them, but he only makes the situation worse, continuously messing with the mechanics of the ride and making it even more dangerous for SpongeBob and Pearl. Eventually they make it out, and Pearl confesses that she actually had fun.

This episode is widely regarded as the best of Season 7 and one of the best of post-movie overall. I never actually had an inkling of what the episode was like from seeing/hearing people talk about it, I just knew that everyone considered it good. Naturally I’ve been curious about the episode for a while and was quite excited to finally watch it.

I have to admit, I’m disappointed.

My first problem with the episode was this: PEARL. God, I hate Pearl. I believe I’ve mentioned my hatred for Pearl before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever explained exactly why I dislike her so much. The reason is simple: she’s the archetypal teenage girl, a spoiled, shallow, whiny brat whose only concern is her own social status. Yeah, you see this archetype all the time in various shows, movies and books. And I always hate it. This archetype isn’t likable, nor is it funny enough to make up for being so unlikable and it’s actually a bit offensive, so I have no idea why shows are so fond of using this archetype. Maybe it’s because I practically skipped my “teenager” phase, making it difficult for me to relate to teenager archetypes, but the spoiled teen girl archetype is one I’ve always carried an intense dislike for. At least in this show Pearl is only a minor character and one of the lesser seen ones at that, so I don’t have to put up with her much, but that doesn’t make it any easier when I do need to put up with her.

In some episodes, like The Chaperone, Whale of a Birthday or The Slumber Party, Pearl is less bothersome. I think the reason for this is because those episodes have enough going on or enough characters in them for Pearl to bounce off of, so her presence isn’t as irritating because there’s other things to focus on instead. I can’t say that for Tunnel of Glove. The story is very simple and contained to one scenario/setting; the characters are few and there’s only one that Pearl has significant interaction with throughout the episode. It’s hard not to focus on Pearl, therefore it’s hard not to feel annoyed by her.

I will give Pearl one compliment: I like that she at least took the initiative to try and get out of the ride herself. That was pretty cool and I have to admit, seeing her determination and toughness in such a situation made me gain a bit of respect for her. Unfortunately, these traits are buried under a lot of whining even within the episode, but I still can’t help admiring them. Maybe if these traits were developed more and her bratty attitude was emphasized less, I could tolerate and perhaps even like Pearl.

Now, let’s move on to my other problem with Patrick. I’ve mentioned before how Patrick and I have kind of a rocky (pun not intended) relationship. I like the guy and he can make me laugh pretty damn hard sometimes, but other times he’s far too stupid for my liking and I kind of want to punch him in the face. Yeah. I’ve never been a fan of the writers making Patrick continuously mess up and endanger the lives of other characters because LOL HEZ STOOPID LOLOLOL. And that’s basically the majority of the episode. Patrick messes up, endangers SpongeBob and Pearl even more, tries to fix it, messes up again, rinse and repeat. I’m rarely a fan of Patrick’s stupidity being taken to an extreme the way it is here.

My final problem is a simple one that doesn’t require much explanation: I don’t care for the jokes in this episode. They’re not exactly bad, I mean I can’t think of one that made me cringe or anything like that, but I can’t think of one that made me laugh either. I can barely remember any jokes from the episode at all, in fact. And I just watched it a few hours ago. Not a good sign.

Okay, that was a lot of complaining, and it’s probably making it sound like I hate the episode more than I do, so let’s get to the (admittedly few) positive things about the episode.

I like the idea. Two characters being stuck in a broken ride together? Sounds like it could make a good Graveyard Shift-esque episode. Unfortunately, I don’t like half of the pairing that was chosen for this idea. SpongeBob and Squidward probably would have been a funnier and more enjoyable pairing for something like this, though I guess getting Squidward into Glove World would be difficult to explain considering his hatred of socializing and, um, having fun. It wouldn’t be impossible to get him there, it would just require a bit more thought and work. SpongeBob and Sandy is another possibility that could have worked well for this episode, but who are we kidding? It’s Sandy Cheeks. She’d find a way out of the ride in less than a minute. I forgot what point I was trying to make. Why is staying on topic so hard? Okay, what I was trying to say is that I like the idea of the episode, but I think I would have liked it more if someone who wasn’t Pearl was involved in it instead. Not just because I dislike Pearl, but because I don’t think Pearl and SpongeBob have a particularly interesting dynamic. Actually, Mr. Krabs and Pearl might have been an interesting pairing for something like this.

Another thing I liked was that scene where the robots in the ride malfunction and try to attack SpongeBob and Pearl. Y’all know I’m a fan of dark imagery, and I thought the sinister look of the robots as they surround SpongeBob and Pearl was cool. Suddenly I was really interested in what was going to happen. Too bad the robots-malfunctioning idea didn’t actually go anywhere.

Long review is long. Let’s wrap this up.

I’m not sure what to do with this episode. I like some of the ideas in the episode and I can see why other people love this episode so much, but I have too many personal issues with it to really like it.

Rating: 4.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack)

No one is coming to the Krusty Krab because they’re all at the Sea Chicken Shack, so Mr. Krabs sends SpongeBob over there to find out what’s attracting everyone to the restaurant. SpongeBob discovers a statue in front of the restaurant that kids can climb and play on. So, Mr. Krabs has Squidward make a statue of him, telling him to have it read by the next morning. With the help of a montage, Squidward gets the statue done on time, but it’s not exactly what Krabs wanted. It’s too, um, “artsy”. Since it’s not something that Krabs thinks will attract customers, they have to resort to Plan B, which is painting Mr. Krabs gold and having him stand still like a statue all day. Genius.

Another good idea that gets ruined by bad pacing and sloppy writing. The first half of the episode is taken up by SpongeBob investigating the Sea Chicken Shack and is riddled with annoying jokes. The second half finally sets up the main plot of the episode: Squidward making a statue of Krabs. Except even that takes a a minute or two to set up, so basically the erection of the statue (stop giggling I didn’t know how else to phrase it) is crammed into the last couple of minutes and has to be told through a montage.

The average SpongeBob episode is only about eleven minutes long, so how the writers manage their time is really important. This is why simple scenarios usually work better. The conflict needs to be developed quickly, you can’t spend too much time on set-up and then cram your main plot into the last half of the episode. It’s sloppy and it makes the episode feel unbalanced.

This could have been a great, Krusty Towers-esque episode. If the main plot had been developed more quickly and the focus had really been Squidward making the statue (rather than having it just be a montage…), it could have been a fun, wacky story where Squidward and Krabs continuously disagree and get on each other’s nerves (whether on purpose or not). Then, at the end, their stubbornness serves to be their downfall. Now doesn’t that sound like a more interesting episode?

Not that the episode is terrible the way it is. There are problems with pacing and story-telling, and a lot of the humor at the beginning didn’t do it for me, but the humor does pick up a bit during the second half. It’s still not great, but it got a chuckle out of me here and there, and I do like the idea of the episode even if its execution was crap. So I guess it’s watchable.

Rating: 4/10

Gaint, monstrous whelks (which are basically like snails) attack Bikini Bottom and devour everything in sight, including some of the citizens. Well, that’s kind of dark. SpongeBob and Patrick run to the Krusty Krab to hide from the whelks, but the whelks attack the Krusty Krab as well, devouring Mr. Krabs and Squidward.

The only safe place left (I guess?) is Sandy’s, so SpongeBob and Patrick run there. Sandy lets them in and tells them that she may be able to stop the worms if she can get a sample of their slime and study it. That’s when the whelks break into Sandy’s treedome and devour Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick. Inside the whelks, Sandy discovers that the reason the whelks are so vicious is because they’re sick. To cure them, SpongeBob, um, absorbs their snot? Gross. But it does cure them and everyone who was eaten gets spit out (luckily everyone makes it out okay) as the whelks calm down.

I really liked this one. It reminds of those cheesy, old-school monster movies, dark but too silly to actually be scary. Though the episode does get surprisingly dark at some parts. Like when Squidward and Mr. Krabs get eaten by the whelks right in front of SpongeBob and Patrick. Of course we, the audience, know that they’re going to make it out okay, as I highly doubt the writers would kill off two main characters so suddenly, but SpongeBob doesn’t know that. For all he knows, two of the people he loves most were just eaten right before his eyes! That’s some disturbing shit right there. He also witnesses Sandy, his last hope, being eaten before being eaten himself. Am I the only one who realizes how intense this is? Man, this season is really upping the ante with dark episodes and imagery.

Then you get to the end of the episode, where you find out that everyone is alive and the whelks are only attacking everyone because they’re sick. I have to admit, it’s a bit anticlimactic. I’m not talking about everyone being alive because, as I said, I wasn’t expecting the writers to actually kill off characters, especially main ones. I’m talking about the reason the whelks are attacking, and how the problem is solved afterward. I don’t know, after an intense episode like this, ending it with SpongeBob absorbing snot doesn’t seem to fit. On the other hand, I guess it does kind of fit with the monster movie theme of the episode. Usually the monsters in monster movies were formed because of some kind of virus, so I guess it makes some sense.

Anyway, I do really like this episode. It’s not a funny episode, in fact the only thing I can remember laughing at was Gary’s cameo, but it’s entertaining and surprisingly exciting. I found myself getting really invested in the story and wanting to know how everything was going to turn out.

Rating: 8/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Hide and Then What Happens?/Shellback Shenanigans)

SpongeBob and Patrick are playing hide-and-seek and it’s Patrick’s turn to hide. While SpongeBob is counting, Patrick forgets what they’re playing and goes home. SpongeBob finishes his counting and begins searching for Patrick, not bothering to look under his rock because it’s “too obvious”. Oh, SpongeBob. Skipping a hiding place because it’s “too obvious” is how you always get screwed over in hide-and-seek. Anyway, SpongeBob looks all over Bikini Bottom and can’t find Patrick. He goes to search in Sandy’s treedome and can’t find him there either, so Sandy lends SpongeBob her submarine so SpongeBob can look for Patrick more efficiently. With the submarine, SpongeBob checks the whole ocean and still can’t find Patrick. He eventually gives up and returns home, where he discovers that Patrick was under the rock the entire time. SpongeBob tells Patrick that he doesn’t care if Patrick beat him in hide-and-seek because he still had fun playing. Patrick asks him what hide-and-seek is.

Everyone says this episode is boring. They’re absolutely right. This episode is boring. Maybe the idea of SpongeBob going to such extreme lengths for a game of hide-and-seek could have been amusing, but it sounds like an idea that would be better suited for a short. It could have used some more jokes, too. Actual jokes, not just annoying gags like Patrick not knowing what hide-and-seek is or that “Are you sure?” gag with Mrs. Puff (that honestly made me want to throw my laptop across the room). I did snort at the “End of the World Cafe and Gift Shop”, but that was it.

Also, that moral at the end, though it was a good moral, was too obvious. Having morals is fine, but you should try to be a bit more subtle than that. Stating the moral outright like that makes it feel like it’s being spoon-fed to us. I know it’s primarily a show for kids, but spoon-fed morals like this bothered me as a kid too. It made me feel like the show thought I was an idiot who couldn’t pick up on things unless I was beaten over the head with it. Give your audience some credit, they’re smart enough to pick up on subtlety.

Rating: 2/10

Shellback Shenanigans, eh? Sounds like a Gary episode. I’m just going to read the plot description before I watch it… “Plankton impersonates Gary”.

Sigh. Yeah, Plankton disguises himself as Gary in this episode because of some Bring Your Pet to Work Day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob thinks something is wrong with “Gary” and brings him to the vet. The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with “Gary” and they basically tell SpongeBob to take “Gary” home and let nature take its course. SpongeBob is resigned to thinking “Gary” is going to die. Hm, that’s actually a rather dark element to bring into the episode. Anyway, Plankton-Gary asks for a Krabby Patty before he dies, so SpongeBob brings him to the Krusty Krab. The real Gary sees what’s going on and beats up Plankton. The end.

This isn’t going to be a very interesting review because I just don’t care to review this episode. This is just a repeat of the scenario we saw in Imitation Krabs, Someone’s in the Kitchen With Sandy and Gramma’s Secret Recipe. I’m sick of seeing it and I’ve already ranted about how I’m sick of seeing it. Unlike the writers of this show, I don’t like repeating myself, so I won’t.

As a Plankton fangirl, I’m happy to see more Plankton episodes. But please, put some effort into them.

Rating: 2/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Abrasive Side/Earworm)

SpongeBob can’t say “no” to anyone and it starts to interfere with his own happiness. So, Gary orders an “abrasive sponge” that SpongeBob can stick to his back to help him say no. Unfortunately, SpongeBob has no control over his abrasive side. It keeps insulting his friends and making everyone hate him. SpongeBob begs Sandy for help and she rips his abrasive side off (ouch).

This is a pretty neat idea for an episode. It’s reminiscent of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, a story I’ve always loved. Abrasive SpongeBob had some funny insults and it was pretty amusing to watch SpongeBob switch back and forth between his abrasive side and his normal side without realizing what’s going on. I would have liked it if the episode had been a tad darker to go more with the Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde theme, but I’m not too bothered by it. For what it is, it’s a good episode. It has an interesting concept that it pulls off quite well, the pacing is decent (though again, the set-up is a tiny bit too long) and the jokes are fairly good. Basically it’s one of those episodes where everything is good but there’s nothing outstanding about it.

One thing I really appreciate about the episode is SANDY. God, I’ve missed her. Yeah, I can miss a fictional character, okay? Shut up. Even if her role in this episode wasn’t exactly huge, it was still great to see her again, she’s been appearing so rarely lately! I guess I should point out that her appearance at the end seemed to be more for convenience than anything else. Like the writers didn’t know how to get rid of SpongeBob’s abrasive side so they decided to just have Sandy, the physically strongest character on the show, rip it off and be done with it that way. So, in a way it was kind of lazy of them. But you know what? I can’t even bring myself to care that much. I just like seeing Sandy and hope that she’ll be seen more often.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob has a song called “Musical Doodle” stuck in his head and can’t get it out. He sings it all day at work and listens to it nonstop when he gets home. The next day, Musical Doodle is still stuck in his head after listening to it all night. SpongeBob starts to be driven insane by it, so Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Squidward and Patrick hold an intervention to get the song out of SpongeBob’s head. Sandy examines him and finds a literal earworm in his head, which is the cause of SpongeBob’s obsession with Musical Doodle. She says that the only way to get rid of an earworm is with a different song. So Squidward plays his clarinet until the earworm crawls out of SpongeBob’s ear.

This isn’t a bad idea for an episode. It’s simple, the way most pre-movie episodes were, and I often like more simplistic plots because that way the focus is more on the characters and the humor. But this episode’s plot is perhaps a bit too simple, similar to how Your Shoe’s Untied was too simple. Either way, the plot of this episode is definitely relatable. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a song stuck in my head and wanted desperately for it to leave. It happens all the time. It’s happening right now, in fact. Damn it, Blurred Lines, get out of my head!

Okay, but seriously. The episode plot is simple and relatable, the key is execution. The execution was…. meh?

Most of the episode is taken up by the song, which is catchy in the same way that Blurred Lines is catchy, and that’s not a good thing. The song is played over and over again until I just wanted to rip my ears off. I guess that was kind of the point, but it’s not exactly enjoyable. The episode also focuses a lot on SpongeBob’s descent into insanity. I think I’m actually one of few people who finds it funny when characters go insane, but I think it usually works better when it happens suddenly, like Squidward going berserk at the end of Artist Unknown. Watching the character descend slowly into madness the way SpongeBob did in Earworm is more unsettling than it is funny, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t kind of interesting to watch… what? I’ve always had a fondness for insane characters, okay? Right, I need to stay on topic. My point is, I don’t mind the episode focusing on a slow descent into insanity, as I actually find that entertaining and interesting to watch, but it’s not exactly funny.

Now let’s talk about that ending. Though I like seeing Sandy in another episode, she was definitely only used here for convenience. In The Abrasive Side, Sandy had at least appeared a few times in the episode before the ending and had already come face-to-face to Abrasive SB, so her saving the day in the episode was convenient but it didn’t come totally out of left field. In Earworm it sort of did. To be fair, she’s not really the hero of the episode. She only diagnoses SpongeBob and then Squidward is the one who cures him (as a Squidward fan I was pretty happy about that). Still, Sandy’s appearance reeked of convenience.

That was a lot of complaining, so you’re probably thinking I hated the episode. I don’t hate it. Like said, SpongeBob’s predicament is relatable, so I can’t help liking the episode a little bit for that, the ending has its flaws but I liked it for the most part, and there were a few good jokes here and there. I don’t think it’s a great episode, but to be honest with a plot like this I’m not sure if it could have been much better than this.

Rating: 5.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Buried in Time/Enchanted Tiki Dreams)

Mr. Krabs is putting together a time capsule at the Krusty Krab, charging people to make contributions. Squidward is in charge of checking the contributions, and the next couple of minutes of the episode are just Squidward being a sarcastic jerk to the contributors, which unfortunately isn’t as funny as it sounds. Later, Patrick shows up and tries to put a rock in the capsule but Squidward won’t let him. A fight ensues that results in Patrick, Squidward and SpongeBob falling into the time capsule. They get buried with it and think they’re going to be trapped there for the next 50 years, until the time capsule is opened. Meanwhile, Plankton is trying to get into the time capsule because Mr. Krabs put a copy of the formula in it. He drills a hole into the time capsule (which the trio is able to squeeze out of) and grabs the formula. As he’s running back to the Chum Bucket, he gets stepped on and that causes him to swallow the formula. I swear it makes more sense when you see it. After that, Plankton has no choice but to shit out the formula. No, seriously, the last scene is him on the toilet trying to shit it out.

Yeah.

This episode suffers from a problem that a lot of post-movie episodes suffer from: bad pacing. I really like the idea behind this episode. SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick buried in a time capsule together sounds like it could be really funny, and perhaps a bit dark as well. Dark for me, at least, since I have this weird and irrational fear of being buried alive and that fear is actually the main reason why I want to be cremated when I die. Yeah, I’m weird. Um, what were we talking about? Right. Buried in Time and its bad pacing. The main plot of the episode is supposedly the trio being buried in the time capsule, but that only happens in the second half of the episode and they don’t stay in there for very long anyway. The first half of the episode kind of just meanders for a while before the plot finally kicks in. I wouldn’t mind filler so much if it was at least funny, but this wasn’t that funny.

Even when the plot does kick in, it’s still not as funny as I had hoped. I liked that little reference to SB-129 when they’re all fantasizing about what the future will be like, but the only thing I can remember laughing at was this exchange when Squidward is trying to get out of the time capsule:

• SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, what are you doing?
• Patrick: Yeah, it looks fun!
• Squidward: WE JUST GOT BURIED ALIVE, YOU IDIOTS!!
• SpongeBob: I know, but what are you doing?

I don’t know, something about the contrast of SpongeBob’s not-a-single-fuck-given attitude and Squidward’s panic was really funny to me.

Oh, and then there’s that random Plankton plot. Yeah, as much as I love that adorable little cyclops, he really didn’t need to be in this episode. Actually, he’s barely in the episode anyway, the only purpose he seemed to serve was getting the trio out of the time capsule. Could that not have been done some other way?

Anyway, you can just bury this episode away with all of the other ones that didn’t live up to their potential. Pun intended.

Rating: 4/10

The episode starts with Squidward having a really bad day being generally depressed. You know, the usual for post-movie Squidward. Eventually he has a breakdown, crying about how all he wants is a life of peace and happiness. SpongeBob feels bad for him and suggests to Patrick that they do something nice for Squidward. So they spend the whole night creating a beautiful tiki paradise for him. Squidward discovers it the next day and is able to have a few hours of relaxation and happiness, and even some bonding with SpongeBob and Patrick before an accident burns down the tiki world. Squidward is upset again and SpongeBob apologizes for not being able to make it last, but they’re able to use the leftover pieces to make a swing, so Squidward will always have a way to make it last. lulz just kidding no continuity, remember?

Something that’s always bother me about Squidward’s portrayal post-movie is that they often make him seem too depressed. It’s one thing for him to be grumpy and cynical, but depression is something else. Grumpy/cynical is funny, depression is a lot harder (if not impossible) to make funny. I just feel weird laughing about a character who I think has a serious problem like depression. The beginning of this episode is a bit different, though, since his depression isn’t played for laughs for the most part. We’re supposed to sympathize with him and we do, particularly when he has his breakdown, which is really heartbreaking. Then we get to the tiki world in the second half.

The second half of the episode is really nice. That’s the only way to describe it, it’s just nice. It’s a nice gesture from SpongeBob and Patrick. They’re aware of Squidward’s feelings (a rare thing for post-movie) and they try to do something for him. Something incredibly kind and selfless on their part. It’s nice to see something go Squidward’s way. Though it’s not as triumphant as his victories in Band Geeks, House Fancy or Suction Cup Symphony, he’s able to have peace and happiness, which is all he really wants, for at least a short time. It’s nice to see the trio get along. I may or may not have teared up a bit when Squidward grabbed SpongeBob and Patrick’s hands shut up it was cute, okay? Everything about this episode is just nice. It’s not  funny (there are hardly any jokes in the episode, really), it doesn’t have much of a story, it’s not really the type of episode you’d want to watch over and over, but it’s nice. Pleasant. Uplifting. Sweet.

This episode almost feels like an apology from the writers for all of the Squid Abuse. I mean, to be honest I can’t recall seeing a Squid Abuse episode that’s really gotten under my skin in a while. There have been some, but I’ve found them pretty mild for the most part. Apparently I’m in the minority, though, because other people complain about Squid Abuse constantly. Maybe seeing so much of it in Season 4 (which was heaviest on the Squid Abuse in my opinion) has made me build a resistance to it. Or maybe in light of Gary Abuse, SpongeBob Abuse and Plankton Abuse becoming more common, all of which I hate more than Squid Abuse, I’ve become less sensitive to Squid Abuse, the lesser evil of the four. Or maybe my definitions of “character abuse” differ from everyone else’s. I’ve suspected that for a while. I’m getting off topic here. Why can I never stay on topic? As I was saying, this episode almost feels like the writers were trying to make up for the way they’ve treated Squidward, because though I don’t consider all of it “abuse” per se, Squidward’s generally not treated very kindly by the writers. The episode probably wasn’t meant to be an apology, I’m probably just reading too much into it, but that’s how I see it.

Now if we could only have episodes to apologize for One Coarse Meal, A Monster For Gary A Pal For Gary and Gone, I’ll be happy.

Rating: 9/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (Trenchbillies/Sponge-Cano!)

SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing when they fall down a trench inhabited by hillbilly angler fish. After being put through some tests, the trenchbillies accept SpongeBob and Patrick as “honorary trenchbillies”. SpongeBob and Patrick try to leave, but the trenchbillies won’t let them. Apparently, they want SpongeBob and Patrick to take care of their leader, “Ma”. SpongeBob and Patrick run away and somehow make it back to the Krusty Krab (how they got there isn’t shown). The trenchbillies follow them there and Mr. Krabs pacifies them by feeding them Krabby Patties. Then Mr. Krabs is forced to marry Ma just for looking at her. ‘Cause, you know, ending the episode that way was totally necessary.

I’m not even sure what to say about this one. I know I didn’t like it, but I’m having a hard time putting my finger on why I disliked it as much as I did.

Let’s start with the trenchbillies themselves. God, were they gross. I like the idea of characters who are angler fish, it sounds like some really interesting designs could come out of that, but I didn’t like the look of the trenchbillies at all.

That doesn’t really justify why I hated this thing so much, though. So what else could it be? The episode was really awkwardly paced, badly written, and just a mess overall. Plus, what was with that ending? That was just really random and stupid.

So I guess that’s it. It’s just a badly paced, badly written episode.

Rating: 1/10

Squidward is trying to paint when SpongeBob starts singing some awful song about gratitude or something. Squidward tells him to shut up, but SpongeBob keeps singing, trying to get Squidward to join in. Then through an accident that I won’t bother explaining, a pipe in Squidward’s house breaks, resulting in water spewing everywhere. SpongeBob offers to help Squidward fix it, but Squidward angrily tells him that he never wants SpongeBob to help with anything ever again. Squidward fixes the pipe, but he makes it too tight, meaning water can’t get through. He then goes to work, which he is late for. While there, he has to put up with annoying customers, one of whom tries to pay for a Krabby Patty with nothing but pennies. This is Squidward’s breaking point, as he begins ranting about how much every little thing annoys him, and I mean every little thing, including some guy’s hat. Squidward declares that he’s the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom. Then a volcano erupts. Wait, Bikini Bottom has a volcano? Kay. Everyone rushes to the shelter, where the town has a meeting about what should be done about the volcano. That’s when a weird dolphin warrior shows up and tells everyone that the only way to stop the volcano is with a sacrifice. Apparently, they need to sacrifice the most miserable person in town. Well, this episode just got a lot darker. Since Squidward is obviously the most miserable person, the Bikini Bottomites try to sacrifice him. Right when he’s about to be thrown in, SpongeBob stops them and offers to be sacrificed instead because he was the one who made Squidward miserable. The Bikini Bottomites are fine with this, so they release Squidward, but then Squidward slips and falls into the volcano. The end. Nah, just kidding. He does fall in, but he holds on to the edge of it and begs SpongeBob to help him up. SpongeBob reminds Squidward that Squidward told him never to help him again. Squidward says that he didn’t mean it, and that he really is grateful to have SpongeBob as a neighbor and friend. Wow. A post-movie episode where Squidward admits to having some affection for SpongeBob? Finally! Maybe he’s only saying that so SpongeBob will help him, but who cares? I’ll take what I can get. Anyway, SpongeBob helps him up, but then the backed-up pipe in Squidward’s house finally bursts, launching his house into the volcano. The dolphin warrior shows up again and says that what he’d meant to say was that they must sacrifice the most miserable person’s house. Um… what? Squidward says that he lied about what he told SpongeBob in the volcano (OH COME ON) and complains about no longer having a place to live. SpongeBob lets him live at his house, and that’s where it ends.

Um, okay. Where to start?

Let’s start with Squidward. A lot of people find him annoying in this episode. I’m not terribly fond of him in this episode either, but more because of the ending. What annoys people about Squidward in this episode is his how easily he seems to be annoyed by everything, particularly his rant at the Krusty Krab where he claims that every tiny thing is irritating. To be honest, I actually found it relatable and realistic. We’ve all had days where nothings seems to be going right for us and everything gets on our nerves, and usually when that happens we want to start complaining about everything, like we’re sub-consciously looking for more reasons to justify how annoyed we are, and we want to drag every down with us. It’s irrational, but it happens, as much as we don’t like to admit it. So I actually kind of like Squidward’s rant.

Now let’s talk about that ending. What a disappointment. I thought Squidward hanging on to the ledge of the volcano, telling SpongeBob that he really is grateful for the life he has was a genuinely nice, touching moment. Once faced with death, Squidward realizes that his life is worth living and learns to appreciate it more. It was a great moment. And then it’s ruined by Squidward saying he lied about it all. It completely negates the emotion of the previous scene and ends the episode on a sour note. Not to mention it’s a slap in the face to the audience.

SpongeBob admitting that he was the reason Squidward was so miserable was a nice gesture, but it also made me a bit uncomfortable. I know SpongeBob can annoy Squidward and sometimes cause a lot of trouble for him, but he’s also done a lot of kind, selfless things for Squidward. Even Squidward seems to realize sometimes that he needs SpongeBob (at least he did in pre-movie…). Still, I did like that SpongeBob was willing to be sacrificed in Squidward’s place. Moments like this are why I love that little sponge.

Overall, this episode was just a disappointment. I really like the idea of this episode. It’s dark and dramatic, but I like dark, and it could have been a really interesting episode. Instead, we got something rather mean and distasteful, with an extremely disappointing ending.

Rating: 3/10