SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (The Krabby Patty That Ate Bikini Bottom/Bubble Buddy Returns)

Mr. Krabs spots a giant bean growing in Sandy’s treedome and is curious about it, so he asks for a tour of her treedome. During the tour, Sandy tells him that she enlarged the bean with some growth serum, and Mr. Krabs wants to use the serum on a Krabby Patty to make an unlimited supply. He calls SpongeBob and asks him to bring a Patty, and with Sandy’s guidance they pour a few drops of the serum onto the Patty. Nothing appears to happen, so while Sandy goes to the little squirrel’s room (her words, not mine, gotta love puns) Krabs pours the whole bottle on the patty. It still doesn’t seem to work, but on their way back to the Krusty Krab the Patty starts to grow. It keeps growing in the restaurant, eventually consuming it and then going on to consume the rest of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob and Patrick run to Sandy’s house, thinking that she must have a solution, and of course she does. She tells SpongeBob that her artificial intelligence cube told her her he needs to “make direct contact” with the Krabby Patty, which basically means he needs to absorb it. Yeah… we’ll get to that cube. Anyway, SpongeBob absorbs the Patty and Bikini Bottom is saved. But… would the Patty just keep growing inside him? Or was it done growing by the time he absorbed it? Whatever.

This episode reminds me a lot of Whelk Attack. It’s another parody of old, cheesy monster movies, specifically The Blob in this case. This one is weaker than Whelk Attack, though. The story isn’t put together as well, and it’s perhaps a bit too similar to Whelk Attack, particularly the second half. But I do want more episodes like this, where some sort of epidemic comes to Bikini Bottom, so I do appreciate this episode for that fact.

I was rather pleased at the beginning of this episode, when it seemed like this was going to be a Sandy-Krabs episode, which we’ve never seen before. Unfortunately that got forgotten pretty quickly and the episode returns to the usual dynamics. In fact, Krab just disappeared during the second half, which I found odd. Since he was the cause of the giant Krabby Patty, I kind of thought he would be more involved in the solution. Okay, fine, he didn’t just disappear for no reason, he got consumed by the Patty, but I still found it strange that he wasn’t at least mentioned in the second half. We see him again at the very end, but it doesn’t amount to anything. Am I the only one who finds it weird that Krabs isn’t more involved in the story?

And Sandy’s cube thing. Just… what. What was the point? When Sandy showed Krabs the cube at the beginning of the episode, I thought it was just a throwaway joke and forgot about it until it was brought up again. She describes it as a Rubik’s Cube that can solve itself, it sounded like a joke. Turns out it was a plot point, but… why? Couldn’t the characters have figured out what to do without the cube? Sandy figures things out all the time. Why add in the cube? It’s really baffling.

Anyway, this episode does have a few funny and entertaining bits, and I liked the idea, but it’s too weirdly put-together and it comes off as somewhat of a poor man’s Whelk Attack.

Rating: 6/10

SpongeBob gets a letter from Bubble Buddy (yes, that Bubble Buddy) asking him if he can watch Bubble Buddy’s son, Shiny, for the day. Well, “ask” isn’t the right word, as it implies that SpongeBob had a choice. Bubble Buddy sends the letter to SpongeBob’s house with Shiny, so it’s not like SpongeBob can say no. It doesn’t matter anyway because SpongeBob is perfectly happy to watch Shiny, but personally I’d be pissed if someone ambushed me into watching their kid. Anyway, SpongeBob needs to keep Shiny away from sharp/pointy objects that could potentially pop him, but Shiny keeps wandering off to dangerous areas and ruining people’s day (like father like son?). And people wonder why I don’t like kids. Anyway, that’s basically the whole episode. Shiny wanders off, SpongeBob rescues him and scolds him, rinse and repeat until Bubble Buddy shows up at the end to pick up Shiny.

So, this is the first episode to directly reference a previous episode and can be considered a “sequel” of sorts to said episode. The closest thing we’ve ever had to this before was Prehibernation Week and Survival of the Idiots, which are sort of related but not directly. Bubble Buddy Returns actually is directly related to a previous episode (it even references the fact that Bubble Buddy owes Mr. Krabs money!), though why it’s called “Bubble Buddy Returns” when it mostly features his son is beyond me. Bubble Buddy is only in the episode for, like, two minutes total.

I was really skeptical about this episode at first. Not because I thought it would ruin a “classic” or anything like that (I don’t even like the original Bubble Buddy episode that much, honestly), but because the idea of a direct sequel to an episode was off-putting for me. This show has never had continuity (besides small, indirect references to other episodes that would probably fly over the casual fan’s head) and I actually like that. It gives the writers more freedom, and it’s a lot easier to pretend episodes that I don’t like don’t exist when they don’t have any lasting effect on the show or characters. It’s also nice for newcomers to the show. They don’t have to start from the beginning of the show to understand what’s going on. I like that each episode is its own separate entity.

So, I had reservations about this episode the moment I saw the title of it. I didn’t like the idea of a direct sequel to an episode, I kept wondering what it meant for the show, whether there was some weird timeline to it after all. Now that I think about it, I have wished for one-time characters to reappear before (though Bubble Buddy would not have been one of choices), which would require some reference to previous episodes, and Friend or Foe actually did provide some continuity to the show. Krabs and Plankton’s relationship had been hinted about before then, so it wasn’t exactly a new addition, just expanding on something that was already there, but still, that episode did have a lasting effect on the Krabs-Plankton dynamic, it wasn’t just a one-shot thing. So, I suppose a little bit of continuity is okay to an extent, but I still wouldn’t want a concrete timeline to the show. This episode actually doesn’t do much for continuity anyway. It’s a sequel, sure, but it could also exist on its own. You wouldn’t need to watch the original episode to understand this one.

All that being said, good God this episode is boring. It was easy to forget my hang-ups about direct sequels to episodes when the sequel in question was putting me to sleep. It’s way too repetitive, the only interesting thing to happen in the episode was the ending when SpongeBob accidentally popped Shiny. Is it bad that I was kind of relieved when he got popped? It probably is.

I just thought of something. If Bubble Buddy has a son… does that mean Bubble Buddy has had sex? How can bubbles have sex anyway? Can they… can they pop each other when they put it in? Ugh, why am I thinking about bubble sex this much?! I’m too dirty-minded for my own good.  Shiny was probably the result of bubble-blowing, just like Bubble Buddy was. Though that also raises some questions. Was Bubble Buddy “born” when SpongeBob blew him? Oh dear, I shouldn’t use the word “blow” or participles of it when I’ve just been talking about bubble sex. I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore. Never mind.

To sum up, I’m still on the fence about direct sequels to episodes, and this episode is a bore. Luckily I’m not a big fan of the original episode, so I’m not too disappointed by this one.

Rating: 2.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (New Fish in Town/Love That Squid)

Patrick is renting out his yard for some extra money, and he asks Squidward to keep an eye out for any takers while he and SpongeBob are jellyfishing. Of course Squidward has no interest in doing such a thing, but then a fish does show up with a mobile home to rent out Patrick’s yard. The fish introduces himself as Howard, and at first Squidward wants to be rid of him. Then he finds out that Howard has the same interests as him, so Squidward befriends him. Howard says that the two things he can’t stand are jellyfishers and bubble blowers, so Squidward does his best to keep SpongeBob and Patrick away from Howard, going to some pretty extreme lengths. Like pushing their houses off a cliff. You know, sometimes I think Squidward is more psychotic than people give him credit for. Anyway, Howard eventually sees SpongeBob and Patrick blowing bubbles and playing with a jellyfish, which sets him off. About to give SpongeBob and Patrick a piece of his mind, he suddenly finds himself enjoying bubble blowing and jellyfishing. This convinces Squidward that Howard isn’t someone he can be friends with, so he removes the block from behind Howard’s mobile home and it goes rolling off the cliff. Yeah, Squidward definitely has a few screws loose in his head.

Honestly this episode almost put me to sleep. I found it really boring.

It’s not a bad idea for an episode, I guess. Squidward makes a new friend and doesn’t want said friend to meet SpongeBob and Patrick. It sounds like it could be funny. Unfortunately it wasn’t. Besides the running gag with the cliff, which admittedly I did find amusing, there weren’t that many jokes in the episode. It’s mostly just Squidward trying to keep Howard from hearing SpongeBob and Patrick outside (which mostly involves some uninteresting visual gags), or it’s just Squidward and Howard talking. And their interactions aren’t that interesting, mainly due to how boring Howard is. I guess Howard being boring was sort of the point, but couldn’t they have given him at least a little spunk or something to make him less bland? I think the reason I found him so boring was his voice. It’s so monotone and it’s really annoying to listen to. Again, I guess that was the point, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on the episode, but it was just a snore-fest for me.

Rating: 2/10

A squid named Squilvia comes to the Krusty Krab and Squidward develops a crush on her. He’s too nervous to talk to her, though, so SpongeBob talks to her for him, telling her all kinds of great things about Squidward. Squilvia agrees to go out with Squidward, but now Squidward is afraid the date won’t go well. So SpongeBob suggests they go on a “practice date”. It goes about as well as you would expect. At the end of the “practice date” Squidward loses his temper and yells at SpongeBob, not knowing that Squilvia is right behind him and can hear everything he’s saying. Squidward is convinced that Squilvia now hates him and doesn’t want to go out with him, but Squilvia says that she actually likes guys who won’t put up with stupidity and still wants to go out with him.

I liked this episode more than I thought I would. Despite how my weird shipping habits make it look, romance usually bores me, so when I found out what the plot of this episode was I immediately became uninterested in it. Not that I can never enjoy romance. For some reason I adore Plankton/Karen episodes (Single Cell Anniversary ftw) and I like Krusty Love, and there are other romance-centered stories outside this show that I like, but the majority of the time I can’t stand romance. It has to be a really well done romance (or just a really funny romance like Plankton/Karen) for me to get into it.

That being said, I was pleased to see that the episode isn’t as romance-centered as I’d thought it would be. You don’t even see Squidward and Squilvia go on their date, most of the episode is focused on the practice date with SpongeBob and Squidward. And it’s actually pretty funny. It’s probably one of the funniest SpongeBob-Squidward interactions the show has had in a while and it was really enjoyable to watch. The way SpongeBob looked when dressed as Squilvia and Squidward’s horrified reaction to it was especially hilarious to me.

But who are we kidding? Obviously this episode should have been about Squidiam.

Oh yeah. That’s hot.

Rating: 7/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Great Patty Caper/That Sinking Feeling/Karate Star)

Um, isn’t there an episode called Patty Caper already? I’m so going to get those two confused.

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are making a new batch of Krabby Patties, but they have a disagreement on the ingredients. Mr. Krabs opens the vault that contains the formula to check the recipe, and out comes Plankton, attempting to steal it. Krabs stops him and sends him back to the Chum Bucket yet again, but he wants to stop Plankton from coming after the formula in the future. He sends the formula to a bank far away from Bikini Bottom, and then he and SpongeBob go back to making Patties. Except they forgot to check the recipe before sending the formula away. Oops. So SpongeBob is sent to get the formula, taking Patrick with him. The two go by train, and of course they’re followed by Plankton. From there, a lot of things happen. And I mean a lot. I won’t explain it all because I don’t like taking too long with the synopsis, but it ends with Plankton and Krabs at the bank (Krabs had been waiting for him there, which makes me wonder why he needed to send SpongeBob). They fight over the formula, and then the train that SpongeBob and Patrick were on crashes into the bank. Hm, maybe I should have explained a few things after all. Anyway, Krabs is forced to pay for the damages but I guess he at least stopped Plankton from getting the formula? I don’t know, it was kind of unclear.

I liked this episode a lot, it was really entertaining. Like I said, a lot of stuff happened and the plot is rather complicated, but it was all paced very well so the episode doesn’t feel disorganized or like it has too much going on. The idea of the episode is pretty creative and it’s a neat mystery/adventure story. I also like that Plankton felt like a genuine threat in this episode and pulled off some pretty nasty stuff. It’s been a while since Plankton has really felt like a villain, so it was a nice change of pace.

The humor is unfortunately where it falls flat. Well, maybe not “falls flat”, but it wasn’t the best. Some jokes were pretty funny, others were kind of weak, and some were just… I don’t even know what they were. Like, there’s one scene where Patrick asks someone if he’s a werewolf, and then some random fish walks on screen, looks up at a full moon (even though it’s daytime?), turns into a werewolf and then runs off screen. Just… what the fuck was that even? Was that supposed to be a joke? It’s not referenced afterwards and it has no purpose in the episode. It’s like a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment. It’s almost kind of funny just because of how stupid and unnecessary it was. Almost. There’s also a scene where Plankton gets run over by a bus and he says, “Oh, now they’re on time!” which is a reference to One Coarse Meal, when he’s lying on the road waiting for a bus to run him over but it’s late. Usually I like it when the writers indirectly reference past episodes like this, but this was a reference to One Coarse Meal, my least favorite episode that I’m trying very hard to pretend didn’t exist. So no, can’t laugh at that reference.

Despite a few flaws, I really do like this episode. It’s just a cleverly-written episode that’s a ton of fun to watch.

Rating: 8.5/10

After being yelled at by Squidward for playing in his yard, SpongeBob and Patrick dig a tunnel underground between their houses. This makes the foundation under Squidward’s house weaker, so his house sinks into the tunnel too. He demands that SpongeBob and Patrick dig his house out, but the two are unable to. So he chases them throughout the tunnels (SpongeBob and Patrick continue digging more as they’re running) and eventually all of Bikini Bottom is sunk, so everyone has to dig their own houses out.

This episode has a pretty funny premise that almost sounds pre-movie-esque, but lackluster execution. Aside from a couple of jokes, I didn’t really laugh at much and it was pretty easy to get bored with the episode. It relies a bit too much on visual gags and random gags, and that’s usually not a good thing for an episode to do. It makes the episode feel cheap and lowers its replay value. I would have liked more focus on the character interactions. SpongeBob and Patrick were also really oblivious and stupid in this episode, even by post-movie standards, which sort of hindered my enjoyment of the episode.

It’s not a terrible episode, or even a bad one. It’s mostly just forgettable and a bit disappointing, as I really like the idea of the episode and I think it could have been a lot funnier than it was.

Rating: 4/10

Patrick asks SpongeBob to teach him karate, which SpongeBob agrees to do. At first it seems like Patrick can’t do anything right, but then it’s discovered that Patrick has a perfect karate chop that can slice anything in half. Unfortunately this goes to Patrick’s head and he starts chopping everything, becoming the terror of Bikini Bottom when he destroys half the town. SpongeBob tries to stop him, but Patrick is no longer able to control his chopping. After injuring SpongeBob, Patrick realizes that the only way to control his chopping is to rip off his arm. It’s okay, starfish limbs grow back. He and SpongeBob then begin rebuilding Bikini Bottom.

Man, Bikini Bottom can’t catch a break. It seems like every second episode ends with it being destroyed.

Anyway, this was a decent episode. I didn’t laugh much and Patrick’s attitude got on my nerves sometimes, but I did like him trying to save SpongeBob at the end. That was nice, especially since the writers haven’t exactly been doing Patrick much justice lately. He’s frequently depicted as mean, selfish and an overall jerk, which can be fine now and then if it’s done well, but seeing it so often (and not done well) just makes you forget why you’re supposed to like Patrick. Despite Patrick’s jerky attitude throughout most of the episode, the moment where he saves SpongeBob at the end reminded me why I should like him. Patrick may be an idiot, but he’s a loyal friend.

The only major problem I have with this episode is the lack of Sandy. People are probably getting tired of me complaining about Sandy not being in more episodes, but I don’t care. She should be in more episodes, she’s a great character that’s unfortunately under-appreciated by the writers and by fans. And if there’s any episode that should have Sandy in it, it’s this one. It’s an episode about karate. You know who likes karate? SANDY. She’s always involved in karate-related episodes, since karate is a rather important part of her character. I guess now that the writers are trying to awkwardly balance Scientist Sandy with Sporty Sandy they’re bound to screw up like this now and then, but not having Sandy in this episode was a big disappointment and a wasted opportunity.

Rating: 4/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 4 (All That Glitters/Wishing You Well)

In this episode, SpongeBob breaks his spatula and his spatula is hospitalized. Whatever. SpongeBob spends the first half of the episode crying, and then he gets a fancy new spatula that has all sorts of gadgets attached to it. And it can talk. Whatever. The new spatula refuses to be used to flip Krabby Patties because the spatula thinks it’s too good for that, so it runs away. Whatever. SpongeBob goes to visit his old spatula in the hospital and sees that it’s been fixed, but his old spatula feels betrayed and won’t talk to him. Whatever. SpongeBob cries some more and then goes back to the Krusty Krab to find his old spatula waiting for him. All is forgiven, apparently. Whatever.

Yeah… this episode is pretty stupid. Why is SpongeBob’s spatula sentient? I know, I know, this show and logic don’t exactly mix, but that was just a little too weird for me. Fires underwater I can handle. Beaches underwater I can handle. Water underwater I can handle. Sentient spatulas? Nope, can’t handle that.

Not to mention that 80% of this episode is SpongeBob crying. It’s obnoxious. Oh, and he’s naked for the entire last half.

Okay, so the idea of the episode is stupid, but is it at least funny enough to make up for it? No. No it isn’t. The jokes are bad and some of them are pretty mean-spirited (the actor posing as a doctor at the hospital, SpongeBob giving away literally everything he has for a spatula that ends up running away from him). If you’re going to make an episode based on such a stupid concept, the least you could do is make it funny. Take I Had an Accident as an example. Yes, that episode sounds stupid on paper, but they were able to make it funny (though the ending is still a bit too stupid for me).

I did smile at Squidward’s reaction, or lack there of, to SpongeBob returning to the Krusty Krab at the end, crawling, crying, and still naked. I love that this kind of stuff doesn’t even phase him anymore.

Rating: 0.5/10

In this one, Mr. Krabs sees people throwing their money into a well to make a wish, so he sets up his own wishing well and leaves SpongeBob down there to collect the money. People come by to make their wishes (Plankton wishes to be tall enough to crush his enemies, Sandy wishes for a telescope, Mrs. Puff wishes for a new boat) and SpongeBob wonders if their wishes will come true. Patrick falls into the well, and he and SpongeBob decide to dig the well deeper. They find what they think is the magic that will make everyone’s wish come true. Then Squidward falls into the well. The three of them are stuck there all night until Mr. Krabs comes to get them out. It turns out that the magic SpongeBob and Patrick found has made everyone’s wishes come true.

I’m not really sure what to think about this one. It wasn’t bad, but I feel like this episode doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be about. Is it about Squidward getting stuck in the well with SpongeBob and Patrick? Is it about getting Squidward and Krabs to believe in magic? Is it about everyone’s wishes coming true? It seemed like this episode was trying to do too many different stories at once and it ends up being a hot mess.

Did I mention that there’s a totally pointless and not-very-good song that SpongeBob sings? I’m just going to take Squidward’s “That was the worst song I ever heard” as a meta commentary on the song.

The jokes in this episode were good for the most part. The claustrophobia joke and Squidward’s “I’m not rushing perfection, I’m rushing you” were funny. Plankton making his wish was funny, as was his wish coming true at the end of the episode, and there were a couple of other things I laughed at.

By the way, is it me or is Plankton getting more screen time this season than he did in pre-movie seasons? This isn’t a complaint. More Plankton is definitely a good thing if you ask me.

Anyway, back to the episode. Like I said, I really don’t know what to think of it, as it’s kind of a mixed bag for me, so I’ll just give it a 5.

Rating: 5/10

Blog-Bits

The first post in what will probably be a “series” similar to My Geeky Pet Peeves and the fan fiction readings that I swear I will get to in the near future. I’m calling it “Blog-Bits” for now because I can’t think of anything better.

These posts will contain random thoughts, confessions, stories, or jokes that I want to share but aren’t necessarily enough to make a post of decent length. So I will list them here instead.

Here are a few, expect more to come!

• People are always saying, “Real women have curves, fuck those skinny, anorexic chicks!” Not that I’m against curvy women in any way, but there are some women who are naturally skinny, you know. Are they not “real women”? Are they supposed to feel bad for not wearing a bigger size? Also, can people stop using “anorexic” and “bulimic” as insults? Eating disorders should not be taken lightly.
• Why is the bus I take so ridiculously full on Wednesday afternoons? How is it that so many people need to take buses on Wednesday afternoons?
• The male player character in Black 2/White 2 has the weirdest hair I’ve ever seen.
• In My Little Pony, Rarity designs clothes, which the ponies only wear on special occasions. Does that mean that they’re walking around naked the rest of the time? Not sure if gusta.
• Emma Watson is considering being in the 50 Shades of Grey movie. Not sure if gusta.
• I really want to read J. K. Rowling’s new book, but part of me is scared it will be a let-down after the epicness of the Harry Potter series.
• I really should start using that camera I got for Christmas for something, but I don’t know what to use it for (to be honest, I’m not even sure I know how to use it).
• Tea is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. God, is that sad.
• I know the actual line is “Boy, that escalated quickly,” but I can’t help thinking that “Well, that escalated quickly” sounds better.
• I’m a total hypocrite because I hate hipsters yet I am a hipster. In my defense, I’m an accidental hipster. I don’t stay away from things that are mainstream so that I can be a pretentious asshole, I honestly just don’t care enough to keep up with things that are mainstream, none of it is on purpose…. This explanation is making me sound like even more of a hipster, isn’t it? Oh God.
• Laina (also known as Overly Attached Girlfriend) is quickly becoming one of my favorite people.
• For the longest time I thought the cyborgs in Mortal Kombat had dreadlocks, which struck me as odd but I didn’t question it. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I finally realized those were wires coming out of the backs of their heads, not dreads. I felt like a complete idiot.
• My favorite super hero has always been and always will be Spiderman. The ironic thing is that I’m terrified to death of spiders. WHAT.

That’s all for now, I suppose. Stay tuned for more!