Adventure Time Reviews: Season 5 (Bad Timing/Billy’s Bucket List)

Why do episodes happen to characters who can’t carry them?

The episode starts with Princess Bubblegum showing a small crowd her new invention, which is a means of time travel. The time-travel machine is orb shaped and needs to be operated with special gloves. No one seems that impressed with the invention, since, as Jake points out, they’ve already seen Ice King achieve time travel with magic. As you can imagine, this doesn’t go over well with Bubblegum. LSP bursts in and demands that Bubblegum let her use the time machine to go back to a time when her ex-boyfriend Brad loved her.

So that happened. Oh, and the borders in the video are there throughout the whole episode.

LSP goes to the Candy Tavern, depressed about Brad, and she meets a Lumpy Space Person named Johnnie. Except he’s not very lumpy and he’s also nowhere near as snobby as other Lumpy Space People. He’s someone she knew back in high school (wait, how old is LSP supposed to be?), and she used to bully him and call him “Ugly Johnnie”. But she says she can’t call him that anymore, so I guess that means she finds him good-looking now. The two hit it off and Johnnie tells LSP about the business he runs and how he has a meeting with Bubblegum. He invites LSP back to his apartment that night where they continue to get along great, and then he has LSP sleep on the couch because it’s late and he doesn’t want her going out alone. The next day, Johnnie leaves for his meeting with Bubblegum, and when he returns he tells LSP that it went really well, and that he has another meeting with Bubblegum that nigh. This doesn’t please LSP, she starts to think that Bubblegum will steal Johnnie from her. She sets fire to part of the castle to distract Bubblegum, and while she’s gone LSP sends Johnnie back in time with the time machine so they can have a second chance, whatever that means. When Bubblegum comes back, she finds Johnnie has disappeared and the time machine sitting there.

We next see LSP in the empty tavern, calling for Johnnie, when Bubblegum appears.

• Princess Bubblegum: He’s not here.
• Lumpy Space Princess: [gasps] What? But I sent him back.
• Princess Bubblegum: The sphere would have had to log his molecules before you engaged the time travel function.
• Lumpy Space Princess: Well, then where is he?
• Princess Bubblegum: I don’t know.
• [Johnnie’s head begins materializing in the border around the screen.]
• Lumpy Space Princess: [crying] Then if he’s gone, can you send me back…?
• [Johnnie’s body materializes in the border.]
• Lumpy Space Princess: To before I met him so I won’t have to remember this heartache?!
• Princess Bubblegum: If that’s what you want.
• Lumpy Space Princess: Do it. Do it!
• [Princess Bubblegum places the sphere around Lumpy Space Princess and pushes buttons on her glove, sending Lumpy Space Princess’s molecules back to when she first entered the sphere. Meanwhile, in the border, Johnnie reunites his head and body.]
• Lumpy Space Princess: You witch! Give them to—huh, wha? What? Where are we?
• [Johnnie reaches out to Lumpy Space Princess.]
• Princess Bubblegum: You asked me to use this.
• Lumpy Space Princess: Don’t touch me! [floats away] You pretty skunk! You don’t know heartache with the whole Candy Kingdom in love with your bubblegum buns…! [floats out the window]
• [Johnnie bows his head, crestfallen, as the border fades to black.]
• Princess Bubblegum: [sighs] [sits down and pours herself a drink]

Well, that ending was more emotional than I was expecting.

LSP episodes generally aren’t a good idea, because as mentioned she’s the type of character who works best in small doses, or if she has other characters she can work off of. This one did at least have a few good things in it, though.

This episode ends up being surprisingly emotional. I think LSP’s sudden attraction initially had less to do with Johnnie himself and more to do with the fact that she met him when she was heartbroken. She kind of just clung to the first decent guy who would pay attention to her, and the fact that there’s some nostalgia between her and Johnnie (even if it’s not exactly positive) doesn’t hurt. Johnnie is nice, and he and LSP do seem to have a connection, but I don’t know if LSP’s feelings were really that deep. The thing about LSP is that she really seems to value herself based on what other people think of her. We’ve seen how she takes pride in being able to attract people, and she seems to take it badly when she can’t. That’s not healthy, and it definitely doesn’t make for healthy relationships. LSP ends up freaking out when Johnnie is in proximity to another woman, even though there’s really nothing to worry about, and as a result their relationship has a very unhappy ending. Jealousy isn’t cute and it doesn’t make for a good relationship, no matter what romance novels would like you to believe.

The border around everything in this episode has a purpose, as we find out at the end. It seems to represent a different dimension, and the people in the dimension can look out but if you’re on the outside of it you can’t look in. I’ll admit, the border irritated me, and even now that I know what it was for I still think it’s annoying. I mean, it’s clever, and it certainly makes the ending even sadder when you know that Johnnie was right there trying to get to LSP, but still annoying.

Rating: 6.5/10

Finn is feeling down about the death of his hero, Billy, and he runs into Canyon, Billy’s ex-girlfriend. Canyon gives Finn Billy’s loincloth and instead of thinking it’s gross Finn thinks it’s awesome and is pleased to receive it. Okay then. Canyon and Finn decide to check out Billy’s hideout together and there they find Billy’s bucket list, which has two items that have not been crossed out yet. One of them is “Tell Finn that thing”, but neither of them is sure what that thing is. The other is “Take Canyon on one last ride”. Finn and Canyon go for a ride on Billy’s motorcycle together, therefore fulfilling at least one of the items on the list. Once Canyon leaves, though, Finn discovers another item that they hadn’t noticed before. This one says “Lie on my back in the ocean. Just float.” Ha, that’s right, Finn is terrified of the ocean. He wants to do it anyway, for Billy, but when he gets to the ocean he has a hard time bringing himself to do it. So Fear Feaster appears from out of his belly button. Wow, I forgot Fear Feaster was even a thing. This is a callback to the Season 1 episode Ocean of Fear, which is when we first find out about Finn’s phobia of the ocean, and Fear Feaster is the manifestation of Finn’s fear. That lives in his belly button. I don’t know. Fear Feaster starts taunting Finn, but Finn knocks himself out so that he’ll fall into the ocean without having to think about it. Um, never do that, kids. When Finn wakes up and realizes he’s floating in the ocean he starts to panic, which makes Fear Feaster come back. Finn kills him with the grass sword and with Fear Feaster gone, he no longer fears the ocean. Billy appears as a constellation in the sky.

• Billy: You finished my list. Now I can rest like a great hero. Thank you, Finn.
• Finn: You’re welcome. Canyon helped, too.
• Billy: Tell Canyon I watch her sleep. Man, love is weird, Finn.

I hope you didn’t do that when you were alive, Billy.

• Finn: I know. Is that the thing you wanted to tell me?
• Billy: No. Goodbye.
• [The constellation disappears.]
• Finn: Wait. Billy!
• [The constellation reappears as quickly as it disappeared.]
• Billy: What?
• Finn: What’s the thing you wanted to tell me?
• Billy: Oh, uh, you must go to the Citadel. That’s where your father is.
• Finn: Joshua’s not alive. Me and Jake buried him behind the—
• Billy: Not Joshua! Your other dad. Dad the Human.
• Finn: What?
• Billy: Your father, Finn. He’s alive.
• [The constellation disappears as Billy’s words echo in Finn’s head. The Crystal Citadel is shown floating somewhere in space, and Finn’s dad’s silhouette is seen trapped in a crystal.]

Oh snap.

Well, it’s nice to see Finn dealing with losing Billy, and I like that he’s able to bond with someone else who was close to Billy. I think it would be a big help to both of them, especially since Finn can’t really talk to Jake about it because Jake is apparently in complete denial.  Finn and Canyon actually had a nice relationship, I hope she’ll be in more episodes.

I also liked that they brought back Finn’s fear of the ocean and Fear Feaster, that was a cool throwback and it made me feel pretty nostalgic for the first season.

But who cares about any of that stuff. What about that cliffhanger? I bet that drove people crazy! It’s funny because this episode is pretty laidback, especially compared to other season finales for this show, but it still manages to hook you with the last minute or so.

So. Season 6 should be interesting.

Rating: 7.5/10

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 5 (Bad Little Boy/Vault of Bones)

Another Fionna and Cake episode! YAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!

Like the last one, this has Ice King reading his weird Fionna and Cake stories to some unwilling participants, this  time to four princesses in cages. The story he tells them involves himself saving Fionna and Cake from Doctor Prince and Fionna asking to be Ice King’s best friend. The story is interrupted by the princesses who say that the story is terrible. Ice King defends his story by saying that it has everything that could possibly want: action, adventure, and “hot older guys” (he points out Wildberry Princess in particular for having a thing for Silver Foxes, though she just looks horrified). The princesses suggest that the story would be better if it were more realistic, or if there was some romance added in to it. That’s when Marceline suddenly appears. She’s apparently been hanging around invisibly for a couple of hours. She opens the cages that the princesses are held in and says that she has a way better story for them, which they all want to hear.

Marceline’s story starts off with Fionna complaining about how the missions Prince Gumball gives her are often boring, when suddenly Gumball himself comes in with a plate of pink cream puffs. He says that he baked them as a reward for Fionna’s last mission, but she declines the gift. Suddenly a noise startles them and a blur passes by, stealing all of the cream puffs. Another noise is heard on the roof and Fionna wants to investigate. She, Gumball and Cake go outside (Cake is in her hat and Gumball has an umbrella because neither of them wanted to go out in the rain… Gumball is also on Fionna’s back for some reason) and find Marshal Lee on the roof. Marshal Lee is Marceline’s genderbent counterpart. He says hello to a flustered Fionna and says an exaggerated hello to an annoyed Gumball.  After being taunted and having a cream puff thrown in his face, Gumball decides to go back inside, telling Fionna to do the same if she wants some more polite company. Marshal Lee then invites Fionna to a party thrown by Lumpy Space Prince in the woods, and off they go.

When they get there, Lumpy Space Prince (who has the exact same voice as his female counterpart) has Marshal Lee perform a song. He and Fionna sing together, and these are their lyrics.

Marshall Lee: Good little girl, Always picking a fight with me. You know that I’m bad, But you’re spending the night with me.

What… do you want… from my world? You’re a good little girl.

Fionna: Bad little boy. That’s what you’re acting like. I really don’t buy That you’re that kind of guy.

And… if you are… Why do you want to hang out with me?

Marshall Lee: Don’t you know I’m a villain? Every night, I’m out killing Sending everyone running like children?

I know why you’re mad at me. I got demon eyes… and they’re looking right through your anatomy, Into your deepest fears.

Baby, I’m not from here, I’m from the Nightosphere. To me, you’re clear… transparent. You’ve got a thing for me, girl. It’s apparent

 

Hm. Fionna tells Marshal Lee that he isn’t so bad, and Marshal Lee replies “Not so bad? I’m the son of a demon… and the Vampire King. It’s not something I have to try at. You on the other hand…”. Fionna says that she isn’t trying to be bad, she’s just hanging out with Marshal Lee because they’re friends. Marshal Lee wonders if it’s the same as her friendship with Gumball and Fionna says it’s different.  The two then start to fight playfully but Cake breaks it up when it seems as though Marshal Lee is taking things a bit too far. Marshal Lee pushes Cake away and this angers Fionna. She takes Cake in her arms and leaves the party while Marshal Lee follows, telling her that he was kidding and she should lighten up, to which Fionna replies, “Look, I don’t care if you’re being a jerk to me… but nobody messes with Cake.” So Marshal Lee grabs Cake and takes off with her, telling Fionna to come and get her.

Marshal Lee takes Cake to a graveyard where he summons an army of undead for Fionna to fight. While she’s fighting them, Marshal Lee reiterates (in a rap) that he is bad. Disgusted, Cake enlarges herself and begins to fight him. Fionna eventually defeats that skeletons and pulls Cake away from Marshal Lee, which causes him to fall over onto a spear sticking out of the ground. To make matters worse, the sun starts to come up. Cake stretches herself over him so he won’t burn, but things aren’t looking good for him. He wants Fionna to admit she loves him before he dies, which just confuses her because seriously, why is he insisting on this now, after everything that he did?! Fionna is apparently of the same mind: “I-I get that you flirt with me all the time, and it’s funny or whatever, but you’re doing that now?! [Fionna’s voice begins to break and starts to tear up.] What are you trying to do to my head? You think I’ve got some little crush on you? Well, for however long we’ve got left… FOR ONCE, DROP IT, YOU FREAK!” I love Fionna. Marshal Lee then reveals that he wasn’t really stabbed, his shirt was just filled with cream puffs. So Fionna punches him in the face. Good call. Marceline’s story ends here, and the princesses all agree that this was a much better story, to Ice King’s annoyance.

So, it’s pretty clear what this episode is trying to do. Marshal Lee is the archetypical “bad boys” and Fionna is interested in him because of that.

First, let’s talk about this “bad boy” thing. This belief that girls are into bad boy is a common one, but the thing is, it’s not really true in the way people think it is.

I always feel a little uncomfortable when people say things like “girls love bad boys” or “girls always go for jerks” and  not just because it’s a generalization. I don’t like the condescending tone it’s almost always said in, like we girls are just too silly to know what’s good for us. I don’t like how more often than not the ones perpetuating this idea are petulant “nice guys” who aren’t actually that nice themselves but need something to blame for why they can’t get laid. I don’t like how people are implicitly putting the blame on girls for “going for jerks” instead of putting the blame on the guys who are acting like jerks. I don’t like how it manipulates girls into thinking that guys being jerks is what they’re supposed to find attractive, and how it allows guys to think that being jerks to girls is fine because it’s what they want anyway. There’s just a lot that’s wrong with this mentality, so I don’t really like the constant perpetuation of it.

Do girls like bad boys? Some of us, sure, but like I said, it’s not in the way that most people think. It’s not that we actually like bad boys, we just like the fantasy of a bad boy. That’s a very important distinction and one that seems to go over people’s heads a lot. That’s why the whole bad boy appeal applies almost exclusively to fictional characters. Most of us know deep down that we wouldn’t want someone like this in real life (those who haven’t will hopefully figure it out), but that doesn’t mean we don’t like the idea of it. You’ll notice that villains and antagonists in stories tend to have a lot of fangirls, but how many girls do you know in real life who honestly are attracted to bad people? It’s important to realize that what’s attractive in a fictional character is not the same as what’s attractive in a real person. An appealing fantasy is not necessarily a desirable reality.

So why is the bad boy an appealing fantasy at all? Well, there’s a couple of reasons, and it can vary from person to person, but here are some of the more common reasons.

1. The “I Can Change Him” Mentality. This is exactly what it sounds like. It’s the idea that even if the guy in question is horrible, you can be the one that fixes him. You can be the one that makes him come out of his shell, you can be the one that gets him to see the light, you can be the one that changes his view of the world, you can be the one that makes him reform. He’ll change just for you, because he loves you that much. It’s a stupid mentality, yes, and one that would be extremely dangerous in real life. But it does make for a nice fantasy. The idea of being the center of someone’s world and the one special thing in it is a powerful and romantic one, but it’s not something that’s applicable to reality, and deep down we know that. We know it won’t happened this way and we probably wouldn’t really want this anyway, but it is nice to fantasize about.
2. The Draco in Leather Pants. You’ve probably seen the term “Draco in Leather Pants” before, especially if you’re familiar with TV Tropes. This trope got its name from Harry Potter fan fiction. A few years back, it was extremely popular for HP fan fic writers to romanticize and woobie-fy Draco Malfoy (maybe it’s still popular, I haven’t red HP fan fic in a while). It was also popular to make him him wear leather pants for some reason, hence the name. Anyway, the trope refers to a character who, in canon, is antagonistic or evil, but has been given an inappropriate amount of sympathy from fans, who interpret them as “not all bad”. They’ve come up with all kinds of reasons to feel sorry for the character and explain away their bad behavior, whether or not these reasons have any basis in canon, and basically think that the character really is a good person deep down. This usually goes hand-in-hand with the I Can Change Him Mentality, it’s this idea that the bad boy isn’t really bad, just tragic and tortured (“tragic/tortured” is also attractive to a lot of girls for similar reasons as the bad boy archetype), and they just need someone to guide them to the light.
3. Forbidden Fruit Angle. Once again, this is exactly what it sounds like. There’s a certain thrill to guys who are dangerous and even a bit intimidating (remember: in fantasy, not reality!), and this comes out in interesting ways in fandom culture. Just like there’s a thrill in doing something that’s forbidden, there’s a thrill in being with someone who’s supposed to be bad for you. It’s rebellious and dangerous and exciting, but, it bears repeating, it’s not applicable to real life.

Obviously a lot of this also depends on how the character is written but generally these are the more common reasons. Now let’s take a look at Fionna’s relationship with Marshal Lee.

Marshal Lee is clearly playing the role of the bad boy and even refers to himself as such. Gumball, though he doesn’t have a huge role in the episode, is cast as the nice guy – not in the Nice Guy (TM) sense but like a guy who’s actually nice. The thing is, though, Fionna just isn’t interested in Gumball that way. He doesn’t excite her, and for someone as adventurous and active as her that’s hard to get around. Nice isn’t always enough. Marshal Lee, on the other hand, is not nice at all, but he is exciting. He’s not the sort of boy who will bake you cream puffs, he’s the sort of boy who will take you on wild adventures, and right now that’s what Fionna wants. She wants the danger and thrill, but she also wants to think that Marshal Lee can be more than what he is. She’s convinced that he’s not all bad, but he’s given her no reason to think so and actually insists that she’s wrong. Of course, Fionna eventually learns that Marshal Lee is bad news and a relationship with him really isn’t what she thought it would be.

Basically, the episode got it down perfectly. There is a certain charm and allure to guys like Marshal Lee, but they’re not the kind of guy you’d want to be with in the long run.

Bless this show.

Also, can we just get a Fionna and Cake spin-off? I would watch the hell out of a show about them being awesome and spreading positive messages to girls.

Rating: 10/10

This episode begins with Finn and Flame Princess hanging out inside the Tree Fort. Jake is making tea on the stove, when suddenly Flame King appears from the fire and starts to whisper to Flame Princess that she’s evil. Then he realizes that Finn and Jake are there and that he was mistaken in thinking that Flame Princess was alone, so he leaves. Flame Princess tells Finn that her father has been doing this to her for a while, and she’s worried that she really is evil as he says. Finn reassures her that she isn’t, but she’s still not totally convinced. So he suggests they find a dungeon, since going through them always help to clear his head.

They find a dungeon and since this is Flame Princess’ first time in one, Finn does his best to show her the ropes. He gets a torch, even though Flame Princess points out that she’s made out of fire so the torch is pointless. The two of them soon come across a skeleton, who Flame Princess is keen on burning, but Finn stops her. He tells her violence should only be used as a last resort, and they should first try other methods of getting past it. He incapacitates the skeleton by intimidating it and then forcing it to do the splits. The skeleton points out a treasure chest in the corner, but when they investigate they find that it is locked. They continue on and eventually do find a key, so Finn insists they go back to the chest despite Flame Princess’ protests. The key doesn’t work. Finn isn’t discouraged but Flame Princess is starting to get bored.

Have you ever shown someone a game you love only to have them find it boring or just not get it? Or made someone listen to a song you love and they don’t like it? Or shown someone a video or movie you thought was hilarious but they don’t laugh once? And the whole time you’re telling them that it’s about to get great, that the good part is coming up, that you swear it’s awesome, damn it, but you’re slowly realizing that this was a huge mistake. This episode reminds me of situations like that.

Anyway, Flame Princess and Finn keep going and they come to a vault with a keyhole. Finn had Flame Princess open it with the key and a winged skeleton comes flying out and attacks Flame Princess, demanding that she take its place in the vault. Flame Princess burns it and the vault. Finn chastises her for doing so but she tells him that he keeps forcing her to do things his way and it’s boring. So Finn agrees to let Flame Princess do things her way from here on out. Flame Princess’ way involves burning everything. Finn is uncomfortable with this but doesn’t say anything. At one point, Flame Princess is attacking a large skeleton that has Finn trapped in its arms. Burning the skeleton would hurt Finn as well, so she uses his tactic to defeat it. Finn is relieved and tells Flame Princess that he was afraid she would burn him, but she says that she would never do that to her boyfriend.

Later, after they’ve exited the dungeon, the two are trying to open the chest they’d seen earlier with a bunch of keys they found inside the dungeon.

• Flame Princess: Ha, thanks Finn. That was a really awesome experience.
• Finn: Dungeons totes clear your head, right?
• Flame Princess: [Agreeing] I forget how good it feels to destroy stuff.
• Finn: [Confused] Uhhhh…..
• Flame Princess: I mean, like evil stuff.
• Finn: Oh yeah, cool.
• Flame Princess: We should go again sometimes. Do you know any other dungeons?
• Finn: Maybe next time we should just go to like… a farmer’s market.
• Flame Princess: And burn it.

They finally find the key to open the chest and inside it is… I actually don’t know what it is. Maybe we’ll find out, maybe we won’t, who knows with this show.

Flame Princess needs more episodes.

What’s funny to me about this episode is that Finn seems disturbed by Flame Princess’ violence, but Finn can be violent himself. He loves to fight and he has no qualms about killing when it’s necessary, like with monsters or anything evil. Flame Princess loves to destroy stuff, evil stuff in particular, yet something about her methods is more off-putting.

Part of it may just be that Finn has never doubted that he’s good and that what he’s doing is good, Flame Princess can’t say the same. She doesn’t want to be evil but she’s not totally sure that she isn’t, and as much as Finn says otherwise he doesn’t seem sure about her himself. Flame Princess also probably doesn’t completely understand the differences between good and evil yet. When she got out of the Fire Kingdom, one of the first things she did was try to burn down an innocent village. That obviously wasn’t good, but I don’t think she knew that at the time. She was just thinking about what she needed and wanted. Finn seems to have influenced her a bit, as she’s now more concerned about good and evil, but she’s still confused, and she’s not the same type of person Finn is.

Another part of it is that Flame Princess is a lot more volatile and less disciplined than Finn is. I mean, Finn isn’t exactly the most levelheaded individual and he can definitely be impulsive, but he does try to find nonviolent solutions to things when he can. If it’s not necessary for him to use violence he’ll avoid it, and he spends a lot of time thinking about what’s right and what’s wrong. Flame Princess doesn’t care. If something poses a threat, her first reaction is to burn it. She revels in it and she isn’t exactly concerned about who gets caught in the crossfire (pun not intended). Her violence is more chaotic and less controlled than Finn’s.

So, what does this mean for her? Can she really be good?

Rating: 7.5/10

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 3 (From Bad to Worse/Beautopia)

Remember way back in the pilot, when there was a zombie epidemic in the Candy Kingdom? Well, this episode starts with another zombie epidemic! I guess this is a Halloween special too. Anyway, the zombies came about again because Bubblegum was studying a piece of zombie flesh from the first attack, and Cinnamon Bun ate it without her knowing. He was contaminated and turned into a zombie, and Bubblegum didn’t manage to stop him from escaping her lab. Next thing you know, the Candy Kingdom is full of zombies. Finn, Jake, Lady Rainicorn and LSP are all in the Candy Kingdom for some reason, hiding in Bubblegum’s castle. She tells them that she’s working on a cure to return the zombies to their normal selves, but before she can explain further zombies reach through the window and grab her from behind, pulling her down and biting her. Oh, Bubblegum, don’t you know anything about zombie stories? Don’t stand close to windows and don’t stand with your back to them, zombies can and will break through windows eventually. She tells Finn not to worry, that they just need to figure out the formula for the cure that she wrote down, and to “just let science do the work”. Then the infection spreads and she becomes a zombie too. It’s a good thing the infection spreads so quickly and that the zombies won’t eat other zombies, because otherwise Bubblegum would have been torn to pieces by now.

Finn is still holding onto Bubblegum’s hands when she turns (OMG DUDE LET GO WHAT ARE YOU DOING), so LSP pushes him aside and hits Bubblegum over the head with a wooden board. Not going to lie, that was pretty bad ass. Then she boards up the window. The gang heads down to the lab, where they all try to follow Bubblegum’s formula and create their own zombie cure, but none of them knows what they’re doing. When they’ve all finished their concoctions, they go back to the boarded up window to give the cures a try.  Finn tries his first, and it goes horrifically wrong. His “cure” gives the zombies wings. So now the zombies can fly. That’s great. The zombies also break through the boarded window, which forces the gang to run up to the tower. Then LSP tries her formula, and it gives the zombies full, “luscious” lips. LSP decides she wants lips like that, and runs outside to drink the formula that spilled onto the ground, which of course means the zombies catch her and infect her. Jake and Lady then test their formula, and it makes the zombies really buff, just what they needed.

Finn, Jake and Lady are forced to retreat to the lab when the buff, flying zombies make it into the tower, and Jake receives a bite from a zombie that was hiding in the lab. He manages to trap the zombie and barricade the doors so others can’t get in, but the infection is spreading quickly. He stretches out his body, which apparently slows down the infection, but he’s soon forced to lock himself in the sealed decontamination shower as he starts to turn into a zombie completely. Finn starts working on a cure while Lady worries about Jake. Feeling sorry for him, Lady OPENS THE SHOWER AND HUGS JAKE AND HE BITES HER OH GOD LADY WHAT ARE YOU DOING. So Lady gets infected, and Finn is stuck trying to come up with a cure himself. And the other zombies make it through the barricade, so Finn needs to hide in the shower along with Bubblegum’s science equipment and her adorable Candy Corn Rat. Finn realizes that the rat’s name is Science, and remembers Bubblegum’s last words before she turned into a zombie. Science is the only one aside from Bubblegum capable of making the cure. Finn takes Science out of her cage and lets her get to work, and soon she has a cure ready. Finn sprinkles a few drops onto Jake over the edge of the shower, and Jake is immediately cured… only to be bitten and turned again. So Finn comes up with the idea of dousing himself in the formula and letting the zombies bite him, which is both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid. The next scene shows Bubblegum standing in front of the Candy citizens, all of them cured, as she presents the Royal Medal for Heroic Bravery to Science the Rat.

Funny how both Halloween episodes are followups to previous episodes. The Creeps was followup to Mystery Train, and now we have a followup to Slumber Party Panic. I like that this this episode puts a lot more focus on the zombies, since Slumber Party Panic was more about Finn trying to distract everyone and the zombies themselves aren’t actually seen that much. From Bad to Worse actually is about the zombies, and it basically covers every zombie cliche:

1. Character being bitten in the middle of a speech because they were standing to close to a window with their back turned.
2. Character holding onto their loved one as they turn and continuing to hold on until someone else has to either kill the zombie or force it back.
3. Character being bitten because they insist on going back for something.
4. Character’s loved one being turned into a zombie and character stupidly thinking that A) it’s still the person they loved and there’s no way they could be hurt by them or B) they want to be zombies along with their loved one because fuck logic. (Since Lady says at the end that she wanted Jake to bite her it’s probably B, but she may also have said that only for double entendre purposes.)
5. Everyone gets picked off one by one.
6. Emotional moment with the last person left where they’re surrounded by zombies and they apologize to all of the people they couldn’t save.

I guess it makes sense, since zombies have been inexplicably popular these last couple of years.

This episode isn’t big on jokes, but there’s plenty of creepy imagery and atmosphere. It was especially creepy for me because to be perfectly honest, zombies freak me the fuck out. Something about the image of them slowly surrounding you or tirelessly clawing at windows to try and get to you, the fact that since they can’t think or speak there’s no chance of reasoning with them at all and they’re just going to mercilessly tear you apart no matter what, the fact that they were people once and now that’s suddenly gone, or you know, just the fact that they’re decaying corpses that have been reanimated. There are monsters that I find more interesting than zombies (which is why, though I do like zombies, I’ve always been slightly confused about their popularity), but I don’t think there are any that creep me out as much. (Mind you, I mean that in a good way.)

Obviously the creepy imagery couldn’t go too far in this episode, though. For one thing, the zombies seem more interested in infecting as many people as possible than they do in eating people, and people turn so quickly after being bitten that the zombies wouldn’t even have time to eat them anyway unless they didn’t mind eating zombie flesh, which of course they won’t do. I figured this was to avoid having to show any characters actually being torn apart or eaten, which would have been too gruesome and you couldn’t exactly bring a character back from that. But they did still manage to have some creepy stuff in there. Just seeing the zombies gathered around the window and clawing through the boards was creepy for me, but I don’t know if that’s something that would be creepy for everyone. Seeing characters swarmed  by zombies was creepy, because even if it the attacks aren’t gruesome they’re still vicious. But I think my favorite creepy image in the episode is when Jake has locked himself in the shower, with his infected arm spiraled around him so it hides him. Then you see the arm unravel and slowly reveal him, and even though you know Jake is a zombie it’s still an effectively creepy reveal.

The ending of the episode was rather predictable, I knew the Rat was going to be the one to make the cure as soon as soon as the gang first saw her, but to be fair that’s part of the joke, that the characters don’t realize she can help even though she keeps trying to leap out of her cage. Overall it’s an entertaining episode, like The Creeps it’s more about atmosphere and imagery than it is about story or humor, but that’s fine with me.

Rating: 8/10

Remember Susan Strong, from the episode she shares a name with? She’s back, and she apparently needs help from Finn. Jake doesn’t trust Susan, and I can’t say I blame him. I mean, he could have made his point without calling her crazy, but his reservations about Susan make sense. The last time they saw her, she was trying to eat Peppermint Butler and attack the Candy Kingdom. Jake also reminds Finn that she’s a mutated fish person, but Finn points out that they don’t know that for sure, which is perfectly true since they never saw her take off her hat but it’s more likely that Finn still really wants to believe he might not be the last human left. Finn agrees to help Susan and Jake decides to go along too, but only to be “disruptive and obnoxious”. So, no change then?

Anyway, Susan takes Finn and Jake to the underground home of the Hyooman tribe and explains to the duo how she and her tribe used to live in Beautopia but were driven out by Lub Glubs, whatever those are. She wants Finn and Jake to help her reclaim Beautopia. They come to a river and Susan says they’ll need to swim across to get to Beautopia. Then she grabs Finn’s head and forces it under the water. Is Finn still afraid of water? Shouldn’t he be freaking out much more than this? I mean, he is freaking out about Susan almost drowning him, but the last time I saw Finn around water he was terrified about a single drop getting on him!

Hey, if he’s this afraid, how does he ever shower? Oh God, does he ever shower?!

So, I guess he’s over it now, or at least less afraid than he used to be? Anyway, Jake pulls Susan off Finn and Finn comes up spluttering. Susan realizes that Finn doesn’t have gills like the Hyoomans, so she says they can take the boat instead. On the journey to Beautopia, they see one of the Lub Glubs Susan was talking about, and it appears to just be a pool floaty. When they reach Beautopia, Susan says there will be more Lub Glubs for them to get past. Jake laughs when he realizes that the things Susan is so afraid of are just more pool floaties and, to prove to her that they aren’t dangerous, he tries to pop one. As soon as he tries it, out comes a gigantic shadow beast with fangs that remind me of this guy:

Fire drives the Lub Glubs away, so they need to light a fire in the City Heart. While Finn and Susan (who has become much braver, apparently) fight the Lub Glubs, Jake goes to the City Heart and lights it. When he does, the Lub Glubs melt away. The Hyoomans are all able to come back to Beautopia, and Susan tells Finn that he should stay. Finn says he can’t because he isn’t like them, so Susan takes his hand and puts it under her hat, allowing Finn to feel her neck. Whatever Finn feels, it surprises him, but Jake pulls him away before he can say anything more to Susan. As he and Jake leave, Finn waves goodbye to Susan, looking wistful.

I thought this episode was a little boring at first. It was cool seeing Susan again and I like that she’s braver in this one, but her slow, poorly constructed sentences got on my nerves quickly.

What makes this episode worth it is the ending. I like how they don’t show or tell you what Finn felt under the hat, so whether or not Susan is Human still isn’t confirmed, but judging by Finn’s reaction it’s probable that she is. Why would she make Finn feel under hat otherwise? Finn told Susan he couldn’t stay in Beautopia because he isn’t a fish person, Susan’s gesture seems to say, “Neither am I.” And Finn’s reaction is very telling too. So the ending is kind of bittersweet, since we can assume that Finn has finally found another Human, and he’s being separated from her.

I also wonder whether or not Finn and Susan could be related. It’s possible, and they do have the same blonde hair. What if Susan was Finn’s sister? Or even his mother? Of course this would raise questions about how they got separated and how Susan’s English deteriorated so much, but it’s an interesting theory to think about.

And since we’re on the subject of family, why do the Lub Glubs remind Jake of his parents? I know it’s a reference to the Rorschach test (or the ink blot test), but I wonder if it’s something that will ever come back. We haven’t learned much about Jake’s parents so far, what were they like? And why would the Lub Glubs remind Jake of his parents? Unless maybe he was raised by her:

Is it bad that I’ve always wanted Mileena’s teeth?

Anyway, as I said, I found this episode pretty dull, but it does have some good moments, particularly the ending, so it was worth watching at least once.

Rating: 6.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (SpongeBob’s Last Stand/Back to the Past/The Bad Guy Club for Villains)

Ooh, I love the dark look of this title card. It gets the point across nicely, with the small, lonely patch of grass surrounded by concrete that appears to be slowly creeping onto the grass, while the sky in the background is a dull, brownish-grey with only a streak of bright blue on the horizon. Even the title itself sounds ominous.

Right, I’m not here to review the title card, though to be honest I think the title card is more interesting than the episode and kind of would like to review it. Okay, so, SpongeBob’s Last Stand is an Earth Day Special, and we all know what that means: some overly-preachy environmental message that we’ve all heard a thousand times in movies like Ferngully and Pocahontas. Yeah, Earth Day Specials are usually lame. Was this one lame? Well, um, not really but kind of-ish? Let’s start at the beginning.

SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing, and they find out that a highway will be built through Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob wants to stop this from happening because it will destroy the jellyfishes habitat and blah blah blah. You get the idea. SpongeBob tries to get more people to help, but no one but him and Patrick are willing. So, why didn’t they ask Sandy? I’ve sure she would have wanted to help. He tells Mr. Krabs about the new highway, and the two find out that the highway will go directly over the Krusty Krab and straight to the Chum Bucket. Yep, turns out Plankton is behind everything. So now we have to save the Krusty Krab, too? Whatever. SpongeBob and Krabs go to confront Plankton on this, but Plankton tells them that he doesn’t give a barnacle. Those are his exact words. Oh, you can bet I’ll be quoting that from now on. Krabs is ready to give up, but SpongeBob isn’t. He and Patrick protest the new highway to no avail. When it comes time for the highway to be built, SpongeBob tries to put himself in the way of the construction, but even that does nothing as Plankton is happy to run him over. With their home destroyed, the jellyfish overrun Bikini Bottom. Because of this, everyone in Bikini Bottom (OH, THERE YOU ARE, SANDY) helps get rid of the highway, thus saving Jellyfish Fields. And the Krusty Krab.

Okay, so, I’m not saying that the environment isn’t important or that kids shouldn’t be getting environmental messages like this, but do they have to get them this often? And do they always have to be presented in such a preachy way? Granted, SpongeBob’s Last Stand isn’t as preachy as most environmental episodes of other shows are, but it’s still pretty preachy. Or maybe I’m just tired of seeing morals like this because I’ve seen it done in tons of movies and shows already, so it’s very possible my irritation is just a bias.

The songs in this episode are awful. Actually, the first song they sing is okay, it’s not very memorable but it’s kind of fun. That “Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance” song, though? Awful. It’s obviously a parody of John Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance”, which, as a Lennon fan, I love the idea of. But all Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance is is a string of random words with a chorus that goes “All we are saying is give Jellyfish Fields a Chance”. Literally, it’s just a bunch of random, unrelated words in the verses and then that chorus. You think I’m kidding or exaggerating? I’m not. That’s what it is. Look it up and see for yourself.

The jokes in this episodes ranged from laugh-out-loud funny to facepalm-worthy. I laughed more than I facepalmed, though, so that’s a good thing. I also liked some of the darker imagery that was used, like when the Krusty Krab is desolate and empty after the highway was built, and when Bikini Bottom is overrun by jellyfish.

Overall, I’d say this episode is slightly below average, but it’s still watchable.

Rating: 4.5/10

After helping out Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, SpongeBob and Patrick are shown their room full of memorabilia, which includes their time machine. Even though they were told not to touch it, Patrick touches it, launching the four of them back in time. There, we see a younger and fitter Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fighting Manray who apparently doesn’t age because he always looks the same. Or maybe he’s just in really good shape. What’s his secret? Anyway, Patrick freaks out and drags SpongeBob back to the time machine, leaving Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy stuck in the past. That’s when Barnacle Boy has his best line ever: “Why haven’t we had those two classified as villains yet?” 10/10 I cried. SpongeBob and Patrick go back to the present, but it’s an alternate timeline where Manray has taken over Bikini Bottom and forced everyone to be his slaves (Squilliam makes a small appearance that literally lasts ten seconds and I still had a mini fangirl meltdown my God what is wrong with me?). SpongeBob goes to the Krusty Krab to find out if he still has a job in this alternate timeline, and there he finds Barnacle Boy working as a cashier. Well, I always did think he and Squidward were similar. They even look similar! Oh, and Mermaid Man is working as a fry cook. SpongeBob convinces MM and BB to go back in time again and defeat Manray. They do so, and in classic time-travel confusion, a bunch of different SpongeBobs and Patrick keep showing up to stop Manray. While Manray is confused, the younger Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are able to place him under arrest, saving the future.

I love time-travel and all of its weird rules and paradoxes, so when I found out what the plot of this episode was, I was really excited. It turned out pretty good, though not quite as good as I was hoping. Most of the jokes got a giggle out of me, but I would have liked to have spent more time in the alternate timeline where Manray has taken over Bikini Bottom. I think it had more potential and I would have liked to see it explored more. They probably could have stretched this one out a few more minutes and made it a special (it’s already pretty long for just a regular episode anyway), which would have allowed for more time to explore the alternate timeline.

I liked how cold and dark everything (including the inside of the Krusty Krab) looked in the alternate timeline. Did I ever mention that I love when this show uses darker animation/imagery? Because I do. When it’s done right, that is. Anyway, I liked the look of the Manray’s Bikini Bottom, and even the citizens looked appropriately downtrodden and tired. Everything in the alternate timeline had an cold, grim, unsettling feeling, it was really interesting, and it just makes me wish we’d gotten to spend more time in it.

Overall, this is a decent episode, but I don’t think it quite reached its full potential.

Rating: 6.5/10

SpongeBob and Patrick watch a tape of “the lost episode” of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. The episode is basically just what’s on the tape. A bunch of villains, which includes Manray and the Dirty Bubble (like I’m going to bother listing the rest), are meeting secretly. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy suspect that they’re up to no good, so they crash the meeting along with the Ponderer, Miss Appear, The Elastic Wasteband, and Professor Magma. Wait, what? Professor Magma? It’s Captain Magma, damn it! And where’s the Quickster? And why do their costumes look nothing like they do in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V? Am I seriously geeking-out over super heroes in a cartoon? Yes. Yes I am. Anyway, a fight ensues ending with the villains being caught. Apparently they were only having a book club meeting, so MM and BB can’t imprison them. That’s it.

This is kind of a neat idea for an episode. It’s different, at least. I can’t say I laughed at much, but it did keep me entertained and the fight was kind of cool. I also like the old-fashioned art style that was used for the lost episode, that was a nice touch.

I liked seeing some of the Super Acquaintances from Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (either it or part III are my favorite MM and BB episodes), that was a nice reference and I appreciated it. But, I’m sorry, I must bring this up again: why is Captain Magma called Professor Magma instead, why do they all look nothing like they did in MM and BB V and where is the Quickster? I know it’s a nitpick, but  it bugged me a lot.

Oh well, this is still a pretty fun episode, but I probably wouldn’t revisit it. Although I would like to join the villains’ book club.

Rating: 6/10

My New “Series”

Remember how in my post about Tara Gilesbie I mentioned that my friends and I had recorded our own dramatic reading of My Immortal? Well, my sister suggested to me that we start doing that with more fan fictions and posting the recordings on my blog. I asked my friends if they would be interested, and they were.

And so, I am happy to announce my new series, if you want to call it that, in which my friends and I will read and commentate on bad-but-funny fan fictions and post them on here for the world to enjoy. I don’t know how often we’ll be able to do this. We’ll try to do it as frequently as possible (that’s what she said?), but don’t expect regular posts for this series. Meanwhile, I will still be making somewhat regular posts about random things that only I seem to care about.

My friend Corissa (a.k.a Cori), Faye and Alfredo were the ones who did the My Immortal readings with me, and the four of us will be undertaking this little project, but perhaps other friends of ours will join us if they’re interested.

If you know of any bad fan fictions we can read, let me know. They can be about anything, but they have to be funny bad, not disturbing bad. Don’t suggest anything like Pokémon Story, please.

Not-so-quick explanation: Pokémon Story is an infamous fan fiction about a trainer named David (same name as the author, so it’s obviously supposed to be his self-insert) who has a female Gardevoir. For those who don’t know, Gardevoir is a Pokémon from Generation 3 who is one of the very few human-like Pokémon that is actually nice-looking and not creepy. Now, I’d already seen some weirdly sexual fan art of Gardevoir, but Pokémon Story took it to another level. David apparently thinks Gardevoir is hot, even though she’s a Pokémon, and so he… rapes her. It’s quite descriptive and very disturbing. I couldn’t even finish reading it. The author of that fan fiction is a sick, sick man. Even worse, Gardevoir is one of my favorite Gen 3 Pokémon, but it’s hard to look at her the same way after reading that fan fiction.

So yeah. Don’t send me anything like that. I want fan fictions that will give me a good laugh, not make me want to burn my Pokémon games.

Hopefully, this series will be enjoyable for the five people who actually read my blog. Stay tuned!