Adventure Time Reviews: Season 4 (Return to the Nightosphere/Daddy’s Little Monster)

I swear there was another episode with this title already.

Like Holly Jolly Secrets, this is a two-parter episode, Daddy’s Little Monster being the second part. The separation between the two is more stated this time, though, so I decided to review them as two episodes rather than as one long review like I did with Holly Jolly Secrets. Anyway, this one begins with Finn and Jake locked in a jail cell with a pile of bananas, and neither of them have any memory of where they are or how they got there. Jake takes out his cell phone to call BMO and realizes that he filmed a bunch of stuff on his camera phone. They watch the videos and see that they had opened a portal to somewhere, but they don’t say in the video where the portal goes. The phone then dies, so they can’t watch their other videos. A guard appears and tells them that they’re in the Nightosphere, and that they can’t get home without talking to Marceline’s father, Hunson Abadeer. The guard sets Finn and Jake free along with the other prisoners, since it’s thought that they can’t leave the Nightosphere anyway. Finn and Jake leave the prison and get their first look at the Nightosphere.

Looks like a nice place. Anyway, Finn and Jake make their way to “the Teller”, who is supposed to let them talk to Abadeer, but first they must wait in line with the thousands of other demons waiting to talk to Abadeer. The wait takes about a month. When they finally get to talk to the Teller, they’re told that they need to wait in another line to talk to Abadeer. While they’re waiting, a storm cloud appears and starts to kill all of the demons who want to ask Abadeer questions. Finn and Jake hide behind a rock until it leaves, and then follow the cloud to its castle. They fight their way through a portal back to Ooo, but they’re followed by Abadeer in his monstrous form. Finn cuts his head off with his sword, which reveals that it’s actually Marceline. When they get back to Ooo, she warns Finn and Jake not to come back to the Nightosphere, then closes the portal. Finn claims they must go back to find out what happened.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this the first time we actually see the Nightosphere, isn’t it? I have a feeling I’d remember a design that awesome. I mean seriously, just look at that place, and all of the demons inhabiting it. It all looks amazing. I suppose the Nightosphere is Adventure Time’s version of Hell. I don’t know if it’s necessarily a place people go when they die, but looking at the way the Nightosphere looks and the demons and the fact that no one can leave without Abadeer’s approval, which hardly anyone ever gets, makes it clear that this is basically Hell.

There isn’t too much to say about this episode, since it’s mostly a set-up for the following episode, but it’s a really fun one all the same. It’s an interesting scenario, Finn and Jake being stuck some place with no memory of how they got there, and the visuals are of course wonderful. On top of that, there’s a lot of good humor here, I especially liked the jokes about the ridiculously long lines because that’s a frustration I can definitely relate to.

Rating: 8/10

This episode begins shortly after where the last one ended. BMO is charging Jake’s phone so that they can watch the videos taken on it and know what happened. Once the phone is charged, Finn and Jake start to watch the videos. The first one shows Finn and Jake entering the Nightosphere, having been invited by Marceline to come and hang out with her there. The second shows a scene where Hunson Abadeer tell Marceline that he wants her to take over the family business, but Marceline says she has no interest in ruling the Nightosphere. Abadeer says he’s okay with this and gives her a purple amulet. When Marceline puts the amulet on, it turns her into a monster like her father. She punches Finn and Jake away when they try to get the amulet off her, and the injuries they receive explains why they had amnesia when they woke up in the prison. The third video shows them being put in jail, and the guard telling them they had to be put in the cage with “the stuff”, meaning the bananas, because all of the other cages were full. And, okay, there was this running joke in the previous episode where every time a demon saw Jake holding a banana that he’d brought with them from their cage, they would be disgusted. We find out from this video that the jail guard spews bananas from his ears, and later in the episode a demon pukes bananas. It’s a good thing I never liked bananas that much to begin with.

Anyway, having watched all of the videos, Finn and Jake go back to the Nightosphere disguised as demons and find the monstrous Marceline torturing the demons of the Nighthosphere. Finn and Jake convince the demons to rebel against her, providing a distraction for them to get the amulet off Marceline. They manage to get it off of her, but then are unable to get back to the portal because the demons have turned on them. Finn puts on the amulet and throws Marceline and Jake out of the Nightosphere, but is now seemingly stuck as a monster. However, Abadeer takes the amulet back and tells Marceline that he’s proud of her no matter what she does, while Finn lies on the ground totally traumatized by the whole experience. Poor kid.

Okay, so can I just say how much I love Hunson Abadeer? Because I really love him. I think the reason why I love him is because even though he’s the terrifying and cruel overlord of a demonic world, he’s also a typical dorky, embarrassing dad in some ways. I bet he even makes dad jokes.

Not to say that Abadeer is off the hook for being a terrible father. Because seriously, he’s awful. But I like the fact that even though he and Marceline seem to be getting along more after making up in the last episode about the two of them (which I just realized was called It Came From the Nightosphere and I think I may have called it Return to the Nightosphere accidentally a few times oops), there are still some issues to be worked out. Abadeer says he’s proud of Marceline and I think he’s genuine about that, but he also completely disrespected her wishes in this episode and tried to make her into something she didn’t want to be. By giving her an amulet that turns her into a vicious, mindless monster. And Marceline’s response to this at the end of the episode? “Dad, that sucks!” That sucks. Understatement of the century, girl.

We also get to see more of Finn’s strange talent for resisting mind control. Marceline became a monster immediately after putting on the amulet, both physically and mentally. Finn became a monster physically, but seemed able to resist becoming a monster mentally at least long enough to get his friends to safety, though he eventually succumbed to the amulet’s power mentally as well. I wonder if maybe Marceline was effected more quickly because of her demon heritage, or if it’s more about willpower and strength of mind.

I really liked this episode, even more so than the previous one. It’s just as funny and visually interesting, and has more story and action to go along with it.

Rating: 9/10

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 4 (Hot to the Touch/Five Short Graybles)

This episode starts with the closing sequence of the last episode. So I guess we’re getting right to it. After Finn tells Jake he has a crush on Flame Princess, Jake informs Finn that Flame Princess is evil. Finn insists that he “peeped beyond her burning gaze” and that she isn’t evil, just passionate. He convinces Jake to help him look for her and they find her in the forest, touching flowers and setting them on fire. Finn thinks it’s cute, and to be honest it is pretty cute. Finn describes her as innocent, saying she’s like “the steam off a puppy’s nose, searching for ham in the snow. ” I’m not sure what that means but it causes Jake to burst out, “Guy drops one piece of ham in the snow and he never hears the end of it!” I think that’s my favorite Jake line so far. Anyway, Flame Princess then tries to dip her hand in water and hurts herself. Is this Flame Princess’ first time out of the Fire Kingdom? It would explain why she’s so curious about everything around her and why she apparently didn’t know water could hurt her. Finn goes to make sure Flame Princess is okay, and also explains to her that he likes her, when he notices the fire spreading dangerously close to him. He panics and tries to put it out, but then discovers that putting out the fires Flame Princess starts hurts her. Flame Princess thinks that Finn is trying to hurt her on purpose and that that’s why he’s following her, so she runs away. And Finn chases her. Which probably isn’t at all reassuring.

After chasing her for a bit, Flame Princess manages to ambush Finn and Jake in a field. Finn again tries to explain to Flame Princess how he feels but she still doesn’t believe him. Flame Princess threatens to turn the Goblin Kingdom into her own personal Fire Kingdom and leaves Finn and Jake in the burning field. Finn still likes her (goodness his taste is more messed up than mine) and so refuses to fight her, but Jake reminds him that saving an entire kingdom is more important than being with Flame Princess. They go back to the Tree Fort to attempt to make some fire-proof suits and guess who they find? Neptr! The little robot thing they built in Season 1! Apparently, they were playing hide and seek and completely forgot that Neptr was hiding, though Neptr doesn’t realize this and think he’s the champion of hide and seek for staying hidden for so long. God, that is both hilarious and sad. Anyway, Neptr helps them build their fire-proof suits and they all fly to the Goblin Kingdom, which is already ablaze.

Upon seeing them, Flame Princess tries to attack Finn and Jake, but fails due to their suits. Jake starts trying to put out some of the fires, injuring Flame Princess, and then Neptr tries to extinguish her with foam, but Finn stops him from hitting Flame Princess directly, instead putting out more of her fires. Flame Princess is infuriated and proclaims that this is the last time Finn will hurt her, then turns into her beast form. Finn starts to cry over his horrible luck when it comes to liking girls and this gets Flame Princess’ attention. She returns to her normal form and watches him for a bit, then stops her flames from destroying the city any more. Finn looks up and sees her watching, and Flame Princess starts to speak to him.

• Flame Princess: I understand now. You’re a water elemental.
• Finn: What?
• Flame Princess: You’re my opposite. You create water.
• Finn: What, cry? No, I j–
• Flame Princess: Yeah, you cry and cry all the time.
• Finn: N-No. I-I don’t usually do that.
• Flame Princess: That’s your power.
• Finn: No! N-N-N-NO-NO-NO! [waves his hands while blushing.]

HAHAHA sorry but I love this exchange and how it’s such a blow to Finn’s ego. Flame Princess goes on, though.

• Flame Princess: Finn, even if we like each other, we’re going to hurt each other.
• Finn: No, we don’t have to. I can take it… I… I mean, can’t we try?
• Flame Princess: You would defy nature for me?
• Finn: Uh… yeah, whatevs.

They try to hug but being in contact with Flame Princess burns Finn’s skin, which causes Finn to cry and the tears hurt Flame Princess, so they’re forced to push each other away. Flame Princess departs sadly. Jake asks Finn how the hug felt and Finn replies that it hurt. He doesn’t sound upset about the fact. Is Finn a masochist?

Okay, but really, this episode does set up an interesting and kind of tragic dilemma for Finn and Flame Princess’ relationship. They will literally always be hurting each other. The only way to avoid it would be to avoid any physical contact whatsoever, but that can put a lot of strain on a relationship. And I think we all know what teenagers hormones can be like, so that would make things even more difficult. The question now is what will they do about it? Will they be together but avoid touching each other at all? Will they have physical contact despite the pain it brings both of them?

I feel sorry for them, but especially for Finn, because the poor kid really does have the worst luck with romance. He says so himself, “Why can’t I just like a girl?” (I really liked this line and I think the credit for that goes to Finn’s very talented voice actor.) His first crush was on someone who’s too old for him, and his second crush is someone who will always hurt him and who he will always hurt in turn. Unfortunately we can’t control who we crush on, and it really sucks when the person you fall for is someone that you know it won’t work out with. Also, Finn still being young and being who he is, his views on romance are not entirely realistic. He had a tendency to idealize Bubblegum and seems to be doing the same with Flame Princess. I think that’s going to cause problems for him at some point.

As for Flame Princess herself, I’m really intrigued by her but not totally taken with her yet. Right now, she’s kind of just “Finn’s love interest”. While Bubblegum was Finn’s love interest too, she was and still is more than that as well. She’s also a ruler, a scientist, the one who gives Finn and Jake a lot of their bigger quests, and she has a life, history, and personality outside of being the object of Finn’s affection. Flame Princess isn’t there yet, but she’ll hopefully develop beyond that as we get to know her more, and this episode does hint at some interesting points regarding her past.

When we first meet Flame Princess, she’s in a lantern in the Fire Kingdom and only gets let out when “Finn” expresses an interest in her. Note that after running away from Finn in the Tree Fort, she doesn’t go back to the Fire Kingdom. She instead wanders around Ooo, touching things curiously. This gives the impression that she’s never been outside of the Fire Kingdom. Who knows how long she’s been trapped in that lantern? She didn’t even know that water would hurt her. Later, when she attacks the Goblin Kingdom, it’s to turn it into her own Fire Kingdom. She’s creating a whole new kingdom for herself rather than go back to the one she came from. Perhaps the reason she was so happy when “Finn” came to the Fire Kingdom to court her was because she saw it as an opportunity to leave what was essentially a prison. Even after things don’t work out with Finn, she would rather create her own kingdom (though she does so through destroying another) and have her own life away from her home. Now that’s something interesting.

Rating: 8.5/10

This episode begins with a character whose name is apparently Cuber telling the audience that the episode will contain five different stories about different characters, unrelated but all connected by one theme that we’re supposed to guess by the end. The first story shows BMO being left alone in the Tree Fort and talking to his/her/zer/itself in the mirror. The second story shows Finn and Jake trying to high-five each other in the most awesome way possible, taking running starts from farther and farther away, and then attempting to high-five while catapulting towards each other (Finn also mentions that he likes the pain of the high-fives… Finn is definitely a masochist). We go to the third story before we see the result, and this one involves Princess Bubblegum trying to make the most perfect sandwich to ever exist using science. I can’t help noticing that she only uses bread, cheese, tomato and lettuce for the sandwich. What kind of sandwich is that? Anyway, she gives the sandwich to Cinnamon Bun and he stuffs it in his belly without even tasting it, to Bubblegum’s dismay. And then regurgitates it all over her. Poor Bubblegum. The fourth story shows Ice King searching his castle for a bad smell. He sends one of his penguins away because he thinks its the cause of the smell, but then he discovers the smell is himself. So he has all of his penguins bathe him. The fifth story shows Lumpy Space Princess about to perform in a talent show.

I want that song on my iPod. When the talent show starts, the first act is five girls and they sing the same song LSP was going to sing. How dare they do this to LSP?! The song doesn’t even make sense coming from them because they don’t have lumps! LSP is next up and she isn’t sure what to do, and in anger she ends up throwing a basketball at someone in the crowd. The ball bounces off of them and into the basket, which impresses the crowd. LSP repeats this a few times and is about to be announced the winner of the talent show, but Finn and Jake suddenly complete their high five over the stage, so they get declared the winners instead, which upsets LSP. Forget them, LSP, you’re still flawless.

After this, we’re back with Cuber, who asks the audience if they’ve guessed the theme. I didn’t. Did anyone? I’m genuinely curious, let me know if you did or if you know anyone who did. Cuber tells us that the theme was the five senses. BMO was sight, Finn and Jake were touch, Bubblegum was taste, Ice King was smell, and LSP was sound. I would never have guessed that.

I always like it when shows do stuff like this, just some short stories involving some of the characters that may or may not have something to connect them but never truly intersect. Basically, we’re just seeing what their days are like. I’ve always been a character person, and as much as I like big adventures and drama and goofy scenarios, sometimes I just like to watch characters I like breathe and be themselves and just… exist. It’s nice sometimes.

Adventure Time is usually bombastic and wild and weird, but it’s shown that it can have some great quiet, subtle moments too, as well as good character moments. An episode like this in Adventure Time is especially interesting to me because I don’t often think about what the characters do in their spare time, but of course they must have spare time occasionally. You’d think that something like this would be a weird rebound after how dramatic Hot to the Touch was, but I think it worked surprisingly well, perhaps because Finn and Jake, who played big roles in the previous episode, played small roles in this one, so their very different mood in this one wasn’t as noticeable.

So, yeah, not a lot to say about this one, but I thought it was a nice episode.

Rating: 7.5/10

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 3 (From Bad to Worse/Beautopia)

Remember way back in the pilot, when there was a zombie epidemic in the Candy Kingdom? Well, this episode starts with another zombie epidemic! I guess this is a Halloween special too. Anyway, the zombies came about again because Bubblegum was studying a piece of zombie flesh from the first attack, and Cinnamon Bun ate it without her knowing. He was contaminated and turned into a zombie, and Bubblegum didn’t manage to stop him from escaping her lab. Next thing you know, the Candy Kingdom is full of zombies. Finn, Jake, Lady Rainicorn and LSP are all in the Candy Kingdom for some reason, hiding in Bubblegum’s castle. She tells them that she’s working on a cure to return the zombies to their normal selves, but before she can explain further zombies reach through the window and grab her from behind, pulling her down and biting her. Oh, Bubblegum, don’t you know anything about zombie stories? Don’t stand close to windows and don’t stand with your back to them, zombies can and will break through windows eventually. She tells Finn not to worry, that they just need to figure out the formula for the cure that she wrote down, and to “just let science do the work”. Then the infection spreads and she becomes a zombie too. It’s a good thing the infection spreads so quickly and that the zombies won’t eat other zombies, because otherwise Bubblegum would have been torn to pieces by now.

Finn is still holding onto Bubblegum’s hands when she turns (OMG DUDE LET GO WHAT ARE YOU DOING), so LSP pushes him aside and hits Bubblegum over the head with a wooden board. Not going to lie, that was pretty bad ass. Then she boards up the window. The gang heads down to the lab, where they all try to follow Bubblegum’s formula and create their own zombie cure, but none of them knows what they’re doing. When they’ve all finished their concoctions, they go back to the boarded up window to give the cures a try.  Finn tries his first, and it goes horrifically wrong. His “cure” gives the zombies wings. So now the zombies can fly. That’s great. The zombies also break through the boarded window, which forces the gang to run up to the tower. Then LSP tries her formula, and it gives the zombies full, “luscious” lips. LSP decides she wants lips like that, and runs outside to drink the formula that spilled onto the ground, which of course means the zombies catch her and infect her. Jake and Lady then test their formula, and it makes the zombies really buff, just what they needed.

Finn, Jake and Lady are forced to retreat to the lab when the buff, flying zombies make it into the tower, and Jake receives a bite from a zombie that was hiding in the lab. He manages to trap the zombie and barricade the doors so others can’t get in, but the infection is spreading quickly. He stretches out his body, which apparently slows down the infection, but he’s soon forced to lock himself in the sealed decontamination shower as he starts to turn into a zombie completely. Finn starts working on a cure while Lady worries about Jake. Feeling sorry for him, Lady OPENS THE SHOWER AND HUGS JAKE AND HE BITES HER OH GOD LADY WHAT ARE YOU DOING. So Lady gets infected, and Finn is stuck trying to come up with a cure himself. And the other zombies make it through the barricade, so Finn needs to hide in the shower along with Bubblegum’s science equipment and her adorable Candy Corn Rat. Finn realizes that the rat’s name is Science, and remembers Bubblegum’s last words before she turned into a zombie. Science is the only one aside from Bubblegum capable of making the cure. Finn takes Science out of her cage and lets her get to work, and soon she has a cure ready. Finn sprinkles a few drops onto Jake over the edge of the shower, and Jake is immediately cured… only to be bitten and turned again. So Finn comes up with the idea of dousing himself in the formula and letting the zombies bite him, which is both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid. The next scene shows Bubblegum standing in front of the Candy citizens, all of them cured, as she presents the Royal Medal for Heroic Bravery to Science the Rat.

Funny how both Halloween episodes are followups to previous episodes. The Creeps was followup to Mystery Train, and now we have a followup to Slumber Party Panic. I like that this this episode puts a lot more focus on the zombies, since Slumber Party Panic was more about Finn trying to distract everyone and the zombies themselves aren’t actually seen that much. From Bad to Worse actually is about the zombies, and it basically covers every zombie cliche:

1. Character being bitten in the middle of a speech because they were standing to close to a window with their back turned.
2. Character holding onto their loved one as they turn and continuing to hold on until someone else has to either kill the zombie or force it back.
3. Character being bitten because they insist on going back for something.
4. Character’s loved one being turned into a zombie and character stupidly thinking that A) it’s still the person they loved and there’s no way they could be hurt by them or B) they want to be zombies along with their loved one because fuck logic. (Since Lady says at the end that she wanted Jake to bite her it’s probably B, but she may also have said that only for double entendre purposes.)
5. Everyone gets picked off one by one.
6. Emotional moment with the last person left where they’re surrounded by zombies and they apologize to all of the people they couldn’t save.

I guess it makes sense, since zombies have been inexplicably popular these last couple of years.

This episode isn’t big on jokes, but there’s plenty of creepy imagery and atmosphere. It was especially creepy for me because to be perfectly honest, zombies freak me the fuck out. Something about the image of them slowly surrounding you or tirelessly clawing at windows to try and get to you, the fact that since they can’t think or speak there’s no chance of reasoning with them at all and they’re just going to mercilessly tear you apart no matter what, the fact that they were people once and now that’s suddenly gone, or you know, just the fact that they’re decaying corpses that have been reanimated. There are monsters that I find more interesting than zombies (which is why, though I do like zombies, I’ve always been slightly confused about their popularity), but I don’t think there are any that creep me out as much. (Mind you, I mean that in a good way.)

Obviously the creepy imagery couldn’t go too far in this episode, though. For one thing, the zombies seem more interested in infecting as many people as possible than they do in eating people, and people turn so quickly after being bitten that the zombies wouldn’t even have time to eat them anyway unless they didn’t mind eating zombie flesh, which of course they won’t do. I figured this was to avoid having to show any characters actually being torn apart or eaten, which would have been too gruesome and you couldn’t exactly bring a character back from that. But they did still manage to have some creepy stuff in there. Just seeing the zombies gathered around the window and clawing through the boards was creepy for me, but I don’t know if that’s something that would be creepy for everyone. Seeing characters swarmed  by zombies was creepy, because even if it the attacks aren’t gruesome they’re still vicious. But I think my favorite creepy image in the episode is when Jake has locked himself in the shower, with his infected arm spiraled around him so it hides him. Then you see the arm unravel and slowly reveal him, and even though you know Jake is a zombie it’s still an effectively creepy reveal.

The ending of the episode was rather predictable, I knew the Rat was going to be the one to make the cure as soon as soon as the gang first saw her, but to be fair that’s part of the joke, that the characters don’t realize she can help even though she keeps trying to leap out of her cage. Overall it’s an entertaining episode, like The Creeps it’s more about atmosphere and imagery than it is about story or humor, but that’s fine with me.

Rating: 8/10

Remember Susan Strong, from the episode she shares a name with? She’s back, and she apparently needs help from Finn. Jake doesn’t trust Susan, and I can’t say I blame him. I mean, he could have made his point without calling her crazy, but his reservations about Susan make sense. The last time they saw her, she was trying to eat Peppermint Butler and attack the Candy Kingdom. Jake also reminds Finn that she’s a mutated fish person, but Finn points out that they don’t know that for sure, which is perfectly true since they never saw her take off her hat but it’s more likely that Finn still really wants to believe he might not be the last human left. Finn agrees to help Susan and Jake decides to go along too, but only to be “disruptive and obnoxious”. So, no change then?

Anyway, Susan takes Finn and Jake to the underground home of the Hyooman tribe and explains to the duo how she and her tribe used to live in Beautopia but were driven out by Lub Glubs, whatever those are. She wants Finn and Jake to help her reclaim Beautopia. They come to a river and Susan says they’ll need to swim across to get to Beautopia. Then she grabs Finn’s head and forces it under the water. Is Finn still afraid of water? Shouldn’t he be freaking out much more than this? I mean, he is freaking out about Susan almost drowning him, but the last time I saw Finn around water he was terrified about a single drop getting on him!

Hey, if he’s this afraid, how does he ever shower? Oh God, does he ever shower?!

So, I guess he’s over it now, or at least less afraid than he used to be? Anyway, Jake pulls Susan off Finn and Finn comes up spluttering. Susan realizes that Finn doesn’t have gills like the Hyoomans, so she says they can take the boat instead. On the journey to Beautopia, they see one of the Lub Glubs Susan was talking about, and it appears to just be a pool floaty. When they reach Beautopia, Susan says there will be more Lub Glubs for them to get past. Jake laughs when he realizes that the things Susan is so afraid of are just more pool floaties and, to prove to her that they aren’t dangerous, he tries to pop one. As soon as he tries it, out comes a gigantic shadow beast with fangs that remind me of this guy:

Fire drives the Lub Glubs away, so they need to light a fire in the City Heart. While Finn and Susan (who has become much braver, apparently) fight the Lub Glubs, Jake goes to the City Heart and lights it. When he does, the Lub Glubs melt away. The Hyoomans are all able to come back to Beautopia, and Susan tells Finn that he should stay. Finn says he can’t because he isn’t like them, so Susan takes his hand and puts it under her hat, allowing Finn to feel her neck. Whatever Finn feels, it surprises him, but Jake pulls him away before he can say anything more to Susan. As he and Jake leave, Finn waves goodbye to Susan, looking wistful.

I thought this episode was a little boring at first. It was cool seeing Susan again and I like that she’s braver in this one, but her slow, poorly constructed sentences got on my nerves quickly.

What makes this episode worth it is the ending. I like how they don’t show or tell you what Finn felt under the hat, so whether or not Susan is Human still isn’t confirmed, but judging by Finn’s reaction it’s probable that she is. Why would she make Finn feel under hat otherwise? Finn told Susan he couldn’t stay in Beautopia because he isn’t a fish person, Susan’s gesture seems to say, “Neither am I.” And Finn’s reaction is very telling too. So the ending is kind of bittersweet, since we can assume that Finn has finally found another Human, and he’s being separated from her.

I also wonder whether or not Finn and Susan could be related. It’s possible, and they do have the same blonde hair. What if Susan was Finn’s sister? Or even his mother? Of course this would raise questions about how they got separated and how Susan’s English deteriorated so much, but it’s an interesting theory to think about.

And since we’re on the subject of family, why do the Lub Glubs remind Jake of his parents? I know it’s a reference to the Rorschach test (or the ink blot test), but I wonder if it’s something that will ever come back. We haven’t learned much about Jake’s parents so far, what were they like? And why would the Lub Glubs remind Jake of his parents? Unless maybe he was raised by her:

Is it bad that I’ve always wanted Mileena’s teeth?

Anyway, as I said, I found this episode pretty dull, but it does have some good moments, particularly the ending, so it was worth watching at least once.

Rating: 6.5/10

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 2 (The Other Tarts/To Cut a Woman’s Hair)

The episode opens with a narration by Princess Bubblegum, describing the Royal Tarts, which are apparently the most delicious treats in the Candy Kingdom and many would be willing to risk their lives for a bite. The only one trustworthy enough to deliver the Royal Tarts to the sacred Back-Rubbing Ceremony at which they’re eaten is, or was, the Royal Tart Toter. When the narration finishes, we see Bubblegum showing a picture of the Tart Toter to Finn and Jake, who she presumably was just explaining all of this to. She tells them that the Tart Toter is now too old and senile to fulfill his duties, so she must find a new Tart Toter. Apparently Cinnamon Bun has offered to do it, but Bubblegum thinks he’s “half-baked”. Oh gee, I wonder what that joke is supposed to be referring to. Finn and Jake offer to be the Tart Toters and Bubblegum accepts, reminding them that if they don’t deliver the tarts, she’ll be beheaded. She takes them to the Tartorium where tarts are still being made. These tarts are imperfect, however, and she gives them an anti-gravity tote chamber filled with the actual tarts. She tells them to take the safe route through the Royal Tart Path and also gives them a Holo-pendant, which can relay holographic messages, before leaving with a final reminder that her head is on the line.

Once Bubblegum is gone, Finn comes up with an idea. He takes some of the imperfect tarts, douses them in a paralyzing potion, puts them in another anti-gravity tote chamber, then gives them to Cinnamon Bun , sending him down the Royal Tart Path. Finn believes that Cinnamon Bun can serve as a distraction while he and Jake carry the real Tarts through the Desert of Doom, thinking that no thief would follow them there. Predictably, Finn’s plan goes horribly wrong, as they encounter a pack of hobos who steal some of the Tarts, run into a cave full of creatures who greatly resemble Gollum who steal more precious Tarts, and are attacked by a butterfly with a laser gun who steals the remaining Tarts. Meanwhile, Cinnamon Bun’s journey through the Royal Tart Path is easy and unencumbered, and he actually gets his tarts to where the ceremony is being held.

Finn and Jake hurry to the ceremony, thinking that even if they don’t have the Tarts they can at least save Bubblegum from being beheaded. When they arrive, they see the tarts that Cinnamon Bun brought about to be eaten. Thinking they are the poisoned ones, Finn is horrified when Bubblegum takes a bite out of one. When Bubblegum appears to be fine, they realize that Cinnamon Bun must have been carrying the real Tarts after all, while Finn and Jake had accidentally taken the poisoned ones. Finn explains his failed plan to Bubblegum and apologizes, but Bubblegum says that she lied as well since she was never going to be beheaded, she only said that so Finn and Jake would take their job seriously.

Goodness, Finn is just a spectacular fail in this episode, isn’t he? I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way, I just mean that he’s normally so good at coming up with these out-of-the-box ideas that somehow work even though it sounds like they shouldn’t. Here, his idea is terrible to begin with and of course it failed. It’s kind of weird to see him drop the ball so badly. It’s almost a bit out of character? I mean, I don’t think Finn’s plans always have to work, that could get boring fast, but Finn’s plan in this episode is so obviously flawed and the mistakes he makes are so stupid, and whatever else Finn might be he’s never come across as stupid to me. It’s just kind of odd to see him fail this much and in this way. Then again, I suppose this could have just been because of his desperation to impress Bubblegum. It’s not uncommon for him to make a fool of himself when she’s involved. Yeah, let’s just say his crush on Bubblegum is to blame here.

Speaking of Bubblegum, this episode does more to break her image as a sweet and innocent princess. Her giggle when she explains what the paralyzing potion does is oddly sinister, and lying to Finn and Jake about being beheaded is pretty messed up. And yet, I found it sort of cute how every time she contacts Finn with the Holo-pendant she doesn’t seem to realize that anything is wrong. (Also, Finn panicking and throwing her Holo-pendant away is one of the funniest things I’ve seen from this show yet.)

I didn’t love this episode because I found it rather predictable, but it’s still pretty decent. A lot of the jokes got a laugh out of me, at least.

Rating: 7/10

The episode begins with Jake teasing Finn about his crush on Princess Bubblegum and his general hopelessness when it comes to talking to women. Shortly after this, they encounter the Tree Witch. She says that she needs Finn’s help to fix her very obvious balding problem by getting her a lock of princess hair. Finn is about to agree, but Jake pulls him aside and says that it isn’t a good idea because she’s evil. And the reason why Jake thinks she’s evil is because she’s ugly. Really, Jake? Really?

Well, Finn tells the witch that he can’t help someone unless they’re in danger, so the witch sits on Jake and tells Finn is he doesn’t get her princess hair, she’ll suck Jake into her “bottomless bottom”. Kay then.

Finn talks to a few different princesses, including Lumpy Space Princess who appears to have run away from home and is living in the woods. That’s going to come back later, isn’t it? Also that one scene with LSP is the best part of the episode. Anyway, Finn can’t seem to get any princess hair due to the fact that he can’t talk to women (well, to be fair, one of the failed attempts was just because the princess was bald… and she was also dead so there wasn’t much talking involved). Finn runs back to Jake, who is still trapped under the witch, and asks for his advice. Jake has this to tell him: “Find the least terrible princess you can! Play her some music! Cook her a meal! Smooth talk her until she likes you, and then get the hair.”

Of course, the “least terrible” princess Finn can find is Princess Bubblegum. He rather forcefully takes her on a date (though Bubblegum seems unaware that it’s supposed to be a date) and asks if she likes him. She answers that of course she likes him, and I couldn’t tell if she meant it in a romantic way or in a platonic way. Not that it matters for now, because as soon as Finn hears that she likes him, he asks for some of her hair. She gives him some and he runs back to the Tree Witch to give it to her. She takes it, but then points out that the hair is actually just bubblegum. I’m surprised Finn wouldn’t have realized that himself. Since Finn failed to get her some hair, the Tree Witch is about to suck Jake up completely, when Finn suddenly makes an impassioned speech:

• Finn: If I learned anything today, it’s that I’m awesome at talking to ladies…. and lady, you are crazy ugly!
• [The Tree Witch does an almost silent gasp.]
• Jake: Duuuude!
• Finn: Having beautiful hair isn’t gonna get you anywhere because you’re ugly inside and out. So ugly I wanna throw up.
• Jake: Duuuude!
• Finn: No one will ever find you beautiful. Everrr. And it’s got nothin’ to do with the old chrome dome. It has to do with what’s in here. [Points to his heart.] Can you get off my friend now?

Well, that’s certainly a better message than “lol ugly people are evil”. The Witch admits that she knows she’s ugly and evil, but she thought that if she had beautiful hair she could learn to love herself. Feeling bad for her, Finn asks if she specifically wants princess hair, and the Witch replies that it doesn’t have to be, she just wants beautiful hair. So Finn takes off his hat…

Finn has prettier hair than I do. That’s not fair. Anyway, he gives his hair to the Witch, who he now says is beautiful inside and out. Except she’s not, because even with her beautiful hair she doesn’t change her evil ways.

This is a weird one. I guess with this show it’s always a “weird one”, but this one is weird in that I’m not sure what they were going for here. Whatever moral it was supposed to have was cancelled out at the end by the Tree Witch continuing to be evil anyway. But that’s actually something I like about the episode. I like that even with her beautiful new hair, she hasn’t changed. She’s evil, what did you want from her? It’s so not how you would expect an episode like this to end. I like how this show rarely goes for a moral, and when they do go for a moral it’s usually really out of the ordinary.

Aside from that, there isn’t too much else to say. It’s a funny episode and I have a feeling that certain things in this episode are going to come back. Like LSP running away from home and living in the woods.

And by the way, I think Jake is much worse at talking to women than Finn is.

Rating: 7.5/10

Slightly random, non-rhetorical question that I actually want answered if anyone can as long as the answer doesn’t spoil anything: is Lumpy Space actually part of Ooo, or is it another dimension? Or is it another dimension but still technically part of Ooo? And what about the Crystal Dimension?

Adventure Time Reviews: Season 2 (Loyalty to the King/Blood Under the Skin)

After Finn and Jake rescue yet another princess from Ice King, Ice King falls into a deep depression. Thinking that a new look might give him a boost, he shaves off his beard and goes to a park to work out, where he’s approached by Slime Princess. He tells Slime Princess that he’s an Ice King, but she misunderstands him and thinks he’s a nice king. Since Slime Princess likes him as the Nice King, he decides not to correct her. Other princesses hear about the supposed Nice King and flock to him, all of them desperate to be his bride. The Nice King builds a castle out of sand and builds a makeshift cage for the princesses to keep them in while he figures out which one he wants to marry. Apparently none of the princesses find this suspicious or like something a “Nice King” wouldn’t do.

Finn and Jake hear about the Nice King and decide to become his knights. The Nice King orders them to help him sort through the princesses, getting rid of any that might be undesirable (in other words, not pretty). He even turns Lumpy Space Princess away for being too loud and lumpy. Excuse you, “Nice King”, LSP is a goddess and you would be lucky to have her. Anyway, Finn feels guilty for this and tries to talk to Nice King about this, but Nice King gives him and Jake new orders. Because his beard is starting to grow back, he asks Finn and Jake to retrieve his razor from the Ice Kingdom, claiming that it was stolen. When they get to Ice King’s castle, they discover the remains of his shaven beard and realize that the Nice King must be the Ice King. You’d think Ice King would realize that this might happen. They rush back to the “Nice King” and reveal him for who he is, and the angered princesses beat him up for lying to them.

Oh, Ice King. Every time I think you’re a sympathetic loser you show me what a creepy jerk you are.

The princesses’ desperation in this episode is a little uncomfortable. I mean, all it takes is for the Ice King to say he’s a nice king, and they throw themselves at him despite all evidence to the contrary? Although, now that I think about it, there are a lot of princesses in Ooo, but there don’t seem to be any princes. We haven’t even seen that many kings, all the ones we have seen have either already been married or they’re the Ice King. So I guess meeting a supposedly nice king would be a big deal. But still, it’s kind of awkward to see them so obsessed with someone who treats them so horribly. At least they learn better in the end maybe?

I liked that at least Finn realized how messed up the whole thing was. It’s starting to seem like Finn is the only character on the show who’s generally moralistic, everyone else on the show seems pretty selfish and cruel, even Jake. I don’t mind so much, I like it when characters are intentionally unlikable (the intentional part is very important).

Anyway, there isn’t too much to say about this one, it’s funny and enjoyable, but slightly uncomfortable.

Rating: 7.5/10

Finn gets a splinter and decides to get himself some armor to protect him from future injuries. The armor he gets is just a thimble to go over his finger, but when he meets some armor-clad knights who make fun of him for not having any armor, he decides to get something more. While looking for some armor he’s forced to endure more jokes from the knights (particular from a knight called Sir Slicer) and is thoroughly humiliated, so he asks Choose Goose (a weird talking goose who apparently sells armor) for his best armor. Choose Goose tells him about the Armor of Zeledron (must be a Legend of Zelda reference) and gives him a poem that will guide him on a quest to find it.

The theme of the quest (and this episode) seems to be embarrassment. At every turn, Finn is embarrassed by something, all the while being taunted by Sir Slicer, who apparently has nothing better to do than follow Finn around. First, Finn has to move through some sort of maze of curtains, and behind every curtain is someone taking a shower. Next he has to face a yeti who mistakes him for one of her cubs and tries to nurse him. When he finally reaches the home of the Armor of Zelderon, he meets a ghost who tells him that in order to get past him he needs to beat his high score in “Drop Ball”. Drop Ball is a game where you pick up a ball between your butt cheeks as many times as you can, the ghost’s high score is 6. Yep, definitely the most embarrassing game I’ve ever heard of. How do they even come up with this stuff? Of course Finn doesn’t want to play the game, so while the ghost is distracted they move past him to the chamber where the armor is kept. Finn gets the armor, but realizes that it’s girl armor, and so refuses to wear it. Okay, if there’s one thing I don’t like about Finn, it’s his demonization of anything he thinks is too feminine. I get it, Finn, you’re a twelve-year old boy and you want to prove how manly you are, and you think anything girly will destroy that image, but for God’s sake, this is apparently really good armor, would wearing it really be that embarrassing? Also, think about the implication of the best armor being female armor, it implies that the best knight was female, so think about that before you dismiss it, Finn. Now, if there’s one thing I like about Jake, it’s that he apparently doesn’t care about appearing feminine. When the ghost comes back, angry that Finn and Jake went past him without beating him, Jake puts on the armor and saves Finn, and he continues to wear it until the end of the episode, the last line is even him commenting on how great the armor is. Four for you, Jake the Dog! You go, Jake the Dog! Anyway, when they leave the chamber, Sir Slicer is still there and ready to insult Finn again, but Finn points out how embarrassing it is that Sir Slicer is following around a little boy. Sir Slicer tries to fight Finn, but his armor is so heavy that he can’t even get off his horse, thus the humiliator becomes the humiliated.

This episode is enjoyable, and surprisingly wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. I was expecting to feel tons of second-hand embarrassment given that the whole theme of the episode is embarrassment, but it wasn’t too bad, most of it was funny.

I do need to bring up Finn’s issue with femininity again, though, because it really does bother me and I want to try to explain why it bothers me. There’s nothing wrong with Finn wanting to appear masculine, and since he’s still quite immature it’s understandable that his version of masculinity is very narrow and stereotypical. However, I’m really bothered by how disgusted he is by the mere thought of being associated with something feminine, and you can argue that it’s because he’s a young boy and it’s normal for young boys to not like anything girly, but that’s exactly the problem. We need to stop enforcing the idea that femininity is inherently bad and embarrassing, especially in children’s media, and having Finn behave that way isn’t helping. It would be one thing if Finn’s issue with it was framed as a bad thing, but I honestly can’t tell what we’re supposed to think of it. Is it a joke? Is it satire? Is it enforcing internalized misogyny or is it trying to show how ridiculous it is?

The fact that Jake doesn’t seem to care is nice, but even then it’s hard to tell what we’re supposed to think of it. Jake is usually the comic relief character and I don’t think he’s the one that we’re generally supposed to side with. Is his accepting feminine things supposed to make him ridiculous or is it supposed to make Finn seem ridiculous by comparison?

There’s also the fact that while there are tons of female characters in Ooo, and most of them are fun and interesting characters, they don’t actually seem to do much. Bubblegum is presented as smart and capable, and she’s also feminine in a lot of ways, but she’s had to be rescued by Finn and Jake numerous times, and always seems to get them to go on quests for her instead of doing them herself. The only times we’ve seen her save anyone are in Slumber Party Panic and Dungeon, but she was absent for most of those episodes. Lady Rainicorn is another character who’s both feminine and strong, but we hardly ever see her. The other princesses seem to only exist to be saved by Finn and Jake. LSP is a caricature of a teenage girl, which of course means she’s presented as shallow, obnoxious and useless, and while I adore LSP for being so hilarious, she’s not exactly good representation. Marceline is a strong and interesting character who so far hasn’t been given the same treatment that the other female characters have (she’s not a caricature, when she’s involved in an episode she isn’t sidelined, etc.), but note that she’s the only female character who isn’t stereotypically feminine.

It’s still kind of early in the show, but already its treatment of femininity feels problematic. I’d like to see Finn’s rejection of femininity have a consequence (I’m not sure if this episode counts), and I’d like to see the female characters given more agency.

Okay, with that out of the way, this is an enjoyable episode. It’s funny and a quest that centers on embarrassing the hero is definitely a weird and creative idea. Most of Finn’s quests so far seemed to have a purpose, the one in The Enchiridion tested Finn’s courage and chivalry, and the one in Dungeon showed him how valuable Jake is to him. The quest in Blood Under the Skin, though? Embarrassment. Just embarrassment, with no clear moral. Honestly, that’s hilarious.

Rating: 7.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 8 (Treats!/For Here or To Go/It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!)

SpongeBob buys Gary some new treats called Snail Bites, which Gary finds so delicious that he finishes the entire box in one evening. Gary is desperate for more Snail Bites and won’t leave SpongeBob alone until he buys some, but they’re sold out at the pet store. They go to the factory where they’re made to see if they can get a box there, but the factory is closing down because Snail Bites sold so quickly that they ran out of ingredients…? How does that make sense? Is it so hard to get more ingredients? What was in those Snail Bites, dragon blood?! Anyway, Gary still insists on having more Snail Bites (hm, maybe the ingredient in them is crack), so he makes SpongeBob search every pet store in the ocean for them. And they still don’t find any. They return home and Gary still isn’t satisfied. SpongeBob explains his dilemma to Patrick, who tells him he should be firm with Gary and say no. So SpongeBob firmly tells Gary no. Gary accepts this answer and stops demanding Snail Bites. Kay.

Well, if there’s one thing that can be said about this episode, it’s that it’s cute. Real cute. It’s like a goldmine of cuteness. That montage of Gary performing tricks that get more and more impossible elaborate to earn treats? That was cute. Gary’s sad reaction to the box of Snail Bites being emptied? That was cute. Those pictures of when SpongeBob first got Gary? Those were cute. That one shot of Patrick at the end where he’s pretending to be Gary? I don’t even think of Patrick as cute ordinarily but that shit was adorable.

Aside from that, um, there’s not much to this episode. Some jokes were a little funny, but I found the plot a bit stupid because… dude, just say no to your pet. And since when does SpongeBob have an issue with disciplining Gary anyway? I don’t remember him ever being that much of a pushover when it comes to his pet. I guess it was pretty cute how far he was willing to go to make his pet happy, but it just seemed a little stupid to me. I don’t really like how it ended either, it was much too easy.

I find it a little funny when people call Gary inconsiderate or unreasonable in this episode. Guys. Seriously? He’s a cat. I mean, technically he’s a snail, but you know what I mean. He’s a cat for all intents and purposes, no matter how smart he is. You can’t really hold him to the same standards as other characters who are essentially people despite not being human. That said… yeah, Gary is a bit annoying in this episode, isn’t he? The constant meowing… ugh. I wouldn’t mind it that much normally, but hearing it constantly in quick succession like that gets grating fast.

So, I guess I didn’t enjoy this episode as much as most fans seem to. Aside from all of the cuteness, there isn’t much else about it that I thought was worth seeing, and I’m probably not going to rewatch this episode just for its cuteness factor.

Rating: 6/10

Mr. Krabs holds a contest where people need to guess the number of sesame seeds in a jar, and if they guess right they win a free Krabby Patty. I’m not really sure why Krabs would want to hold this contest. Publicity? Anyway, Plankton wants to guess, but of course Krabs won’t let him. So Plankton calls a lawyer of sorts and Krabs is forced to let him guess. Plankton uses science to guess the correct number of seeds like a boss and Krabs is forced to give him a free Patty. He stalls for time as long as he can, but eventually he has to give it to him. Before doing so, he makes up a new rule for the contest: Plankton has to eat the Patty on the premises. Plankton swallows it whole and then runs back to the Chum Bucket to have Karen cut his stomach open and take the Patty out. The next day it appears that Plankton is selling Krabby Patties, but his customers soon leave the restaurant in disgust. It turns out that when Karen analyzed the formula she didn’t take into account that the Patty she analyzed had been swimming in Plankton’s stomach acid. Yuck.

I liked this episode. I thought it was funny and it was at least somewhat creative. Though I’m still not sure why Mr. Krabs was holding the contest to begin with, it seems like a weird move for him. I’m also not sure why, instead of going out of his way to stall Plankton getting the Patty, Krabs didn’t just tell SpongeBob to make the Patty wrong or taint it in some way. No one would have had to know and there would be no worries about Plankton getting the formula. Oh well, it’s still a funny episode. A little slow and low-energy, and not very memorable, but funny.

I wasn’t grossed out by the ending, unlike most people. It’s not like we actually see Plankton’s stomach being cut open anyway. Even if we did I probably still wouldn’t have cared because I tend not to be grossed up by gore when it’s animated anyway. Besides, I love how Plankton just walks in and says “Yo Karen I need you to cut my stomach open” and Karen’s just like “lol sure thing, honey *slice*” and they don’t even use anesthesia or anything, they just do it right away like it’s nothing. That is so metal.

Ever notice that Plankton seems to have more success (however brief) when he doesn’t try to outright steal a Patty?

Rating: 6.5/10

Here we have the first Christmas special this show has had since Christmas Who? all the way back in its second season. And it’s entirely in claymation, and if the idea of a claymation SpongeBob episode isn’t the raddest shit you’ve ever heard you can get right off of my blog, thanks (jk plz stay). So, it begins with a song sequence in which SpongeBob briefly visits all of his friends in Bikini Bottom to see how they’re preparing for Christmas. It’s basically a way of showing off the claymation sets (which are wonderful) and the claymation characters (which are wonderful and adorable). At the end of this sequence, we see Plankton in the Chum Bucket, who is angered by the fact that he gets coal every single Christmas. Karen tells him that he probably wouldn’t get coal all the time if he wasn’t the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom, but Plankton is way ahead of her. His plan is to give everyone in Bikini Bottom fruitcake laced with “Jerktonium”, a chemical that makes people act like jerks when ingested. He thinks that if everyone in Bikini Bottom starts behaving like jerks, he’ll look better by comparison. He tries giving some of his Jerktonium fruitcake to SpongeBob, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect on him no matter how much of it he eats. It does, however, have an effect on everyone else in town, and they all start acting horribly as a result. Since SpongeBob isn’t affected, Plankton builds a robot that looks like him and programs it to wreak havoc around town (I love how the robot has to be wound up like a toy). The next day, SpongeBob is concerned about how everyone is behaving, so he goes to visit Sandy to see if she can help him get everyone back into the Christmas spirit before Santa comes. Unfortunately Sandy has also become a jerk and is unwilling to help him, but when SpongeBob accidentally drops her piece of fruitcake in her analyzer, they discovers the Jerktonium inside it. The analyzer also tells them how to cure the Bikini Bottomites of their behavior. The cure is a song. They sing it to the town and everyone goes back to normal. That’s when Santa shows up, and he reprimands everyone for being jerks, complimenting Plankton for being a saint in comparison. He also tells SpongeBob that he was the worst of all, but of course the robot is really the one to blame. Speaking of which, the robot shows up and SpongeBob defeats it… really easily. So, Plankton gets coal for Christmas and everyone else gets gifts. The end.

This episode was one of the things that convinced me to give post-movie another chance. I was curious about it because I found out that it was done in claymation, and because it was the first official Christmas special since Christmas Who?. Despite my hatred for post-movie at the time, I really wanted to see it.

And I loved it. It had me from the moment we saw Squidward stringing lights on his house to read “Go Away” (even though I know this episode isn’t meant to have any connection to Christmas Who?, I like to think Squidward is still bitter toward Santa about what happened in that episode). I was pretty blown away by it since at the time I hadn’t seen any other post-movie episodes that I liked. Even now that I have, this episode still blows me away a bit every time I watch it.

That’s not to say that there aren’t a few flaws to be found with it, but it won’t lower my score because A) the good outweighs the bad if you ask me and B) lol since when does my rating system make any sense whatsoever. But I do think I should mention the not-so-good things about this episode, it’s only fair. And since they’re mostly nitpicks I’m just going to list them:

• Patchy. I’m sorry, but I will never like Patchy. At least his scenes are brief and can easily be skipped over, but still… Patchy.
• The ending is pretty anticlimactic. The SpongeBob robot is defeated way too easily.
• We don’t actually get to see Gary, we only see his shell.
• If Santa can see everything, how did he miss the fact that Plankton laced the fruitcake with Jerktonium? And how did he miss the fact that the evil robot SpongeBob is not the real SpongeBob? Honestly this show’s Santa isn’t very good at his job. Squidward actually did his job better in Christmas Who?.
• I don’t like the implication that SpongeBob is stupid. I’m talking about the scene where they analyze the fruitcake and Sandy says that SpongeBob’s immunity to Jerktonium is to due to a combination of his “tiny brain and big heart”. It had already been said by Karen earlier that SpongeBob’s immunity was due to his innocence, could they not have left it at that? Did they really have to throw in low intelligence as a factor as well? Ugh, I hate it when they make SpongeBob out to be stupid. Maybe it’s just me, but I never saw SpongeBob as stupid. I saw him as naive, childlike, and weird, but still smart. I would have preferred if his immunity had simply been because of his innocence and “big heart”, no need to imply that he’s an idiot.
• This definitely feels like the cheapest of my nitpicks, but why does SpongeBob not wear a helmet when he goes to Sandy’s treedome? At first I thought it was because putting a helmet on the claymation version of him would have been too difficult, but later they put a helmet on Sandy when they leave her treedome…
• Never mine, this one is the cheapest of my nitpicks. When the analyzer shows the cure for Jerktonium, it prints out a song. As a musician, I couldn’t help pausing the episode to look at the notes to see if they actually do match the song. They don’t. The staff doesn’t even have the right number of lines and spaces.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can talk about what I actually liked about this episode. Did I mention how much I love the claymation? It’s a really nice tribute to other claymation Christmas specials, and since I grew up watching those this episode made me feel really nostalgic. They really did an amazing job with it. To be honest I actually like the way the Chum Bucket looks more in this episode than in regularly animated episodes. I like how the outside of it looks slightly rusty, as if it’s neglected and in need of repair (which it is), and I liked the gloomier, more desolate look of the inside of it, it’s seems more suitable for Plankton’s character and for what the Chum Bucket is.

Getting away from how it’s animated, this is just a really good episode. The story is a little cheesy, but it’s executed well enough that I didn’t really care, and it’s at least creative. Plus, to be fair, all Christmas specials are a little cheesy. The jokes are pretty funny as well, and while I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Gary, I liked that all of the other main characters were at least in the episode briefly, and they were all great. The songs are fantastic as well. They’re both really catchy, especially Don’t Be a Jerk, It’s Christmas. Speaking of those songs, I found it a little funny that Squidward wasn’t affected by the cure because he didn’t seem affected by the Jerktonium either. I’m guessing it was for the opposite reason of SpongeBob, that he’s already a jerk so he can’t be made jerkier. Or maybe he didn’t eat any of the fruitcake because he’s such a misanthrope that he didn’t even get any.

Although I’ll always prefer Christmas Who?, It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! has a special place in my heart. I love that both Christmas specials have punctuation in their titles, so naming them back-to-back like that in the middle of a sentence looks really weird. Anyway, It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! is funny, heartwarming, entertaining, and I love how nostalgic it is about old claymation Christmas specials. Plus, it’s partly responsible for me giving post-movie another chance, and for this whole project.

Rating: 13/10 (fucking rating systems, how do they work?)

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom/Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle)

Ah, so we’ve come to the Legends of Bikini Bottom miniseries.

A hideous radioactive monster comes to Bikini Bottom and Patrick befriends it. However, Raarg (that’s what they call the monster, since that’s all he’s able to say) proves to be too dangerous to be around, as he destroys Patrick, SpongeBob and Squidward’s houses. The Bikini Bottom police run Raarg out of town and, uh, that’s about it, at least the stuff of importance.

So, let’s start with that was good about the episode. Squidward, for what little he was in the episode, was funny (I’ll definitely be quoting “Keep looking, you’ll find someone who cares” in the future), the Bikini Bottom police were kind of amusing and Gary, as usual, was adorable, as was SpongeBob’s concern for him when his house was smashed. That’s pretty much where the list of good things about this episode ends.

I guess Patrick’s friendship with the monster was kind of cute, but most of their “bonding” scenes bored me, so I can’t really say I liked it. Plus, the idea of this episode doesn’t interest me much to begin with. I’ve seen it done so many times before, and I’ve seen it done much better than this. Maybe you could say that this episode was supposed to be more of a parody of the whole person-befriends-misunderstood-monster cliche, but if it was supposed to be a parody, it didn’t do it very well. It didn’t make fun of the cliche or make any witty observations about the cliche, it just… used the cliche. That’s not a parody. That’s just using a cliche.

Rating: 4/10

Dat title card.

SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick wake up one morning with important possessions of their’s missing. SpongeBob is missing his alarm clock and Gary’s shell, Squidward is missing his clarinet and Patrick is missing his… cuff links? Kay. SpongeBob and Squidward go to work only to find that Mr. Krabs is missing too and Pearl is attempting to run the restaurant for him. Some old guy tells SpongeBob the legend of the Bikini Bottom Triangle, which is where missing items often end up. When a fog rolls over Bikini Bottom and mermaids can be heard singing, it means items are about to be sucked into the BBT. This happens again, and this time SpongeBob and Squidward are taken to the BBT as well. It’s there that they find Krabs, and later Pearl and Patrick end up in the BBT as well. They find the mermaids and ask them to help them get back home, but the mermaids are uninterested in helping them. Then Pearl throws a tantrum because she wants to go to the mall, and the mermaids ask her what a mall is. Pearl tells them it’s a place full of new things to buy, which interests the mermaids, since the reason they bring things into the BBT is because they want more stuff to collect.  So, the mermaids sing their song backwards to send everything in the BBT back to its rightful place, then they head off to the mall with Pearl.

This episode wasn’t as good (or as dark) as I had been hoping it would be. I liked the idea of the Bikini Bottom Triangle (an obvious parody of the Bermuda Triangle), and I was hoping this episode would be sort of like SB-129 or Squidward in Clarinetland, dark and eerie and full of wtf-worthy scenes/imagery. This episode was kind of bland, though. The plot sounds like it’s going to be an exciting adventure, but not much actually happens. They just end up in the Bikini Bottom Triangle, hang out there for a bit and then go back home.

Some of the character interactions were entertaining, but there wasn’t much to laugh at in the episode and, like I said, the execution of the plot was really bland and uninspired. This was a really disappointing episode for me, because I’d been expecting so much more from it.

I just remembered, wasn’t there a Dutchman’s Triangle in one episode?

Rating: 3.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (SpongeBob’s Last Stand/Back to the Past/The Bad Guy Club for Villains)

Ooh, I love the dark look of this title card. It gets the point across nicely, with the small, lonely patch of grass surrounded by concrete that appears to be slowly creeping onto the grass, while the sky in the background is a dull, brownish-grey with only a streak of bright blue on the horizon. Even the title itself sounds ominous.

Right, I’m not here to review the title card, though to be honest I think the title card is more interesting than the episode and kind of would like to review it. Okay, so, SpongeBob’s Last Stand is an Earth Day Special, and we all know what that means: some overly-preachy environmental message that we’ve all heard a thousand times in movies like Ferngully and Pocahontas. Yeah, Earth Day Specials are usually lame. Was this one lame? Well, um, not really but kind of-ish? Let’s start at the beginning.

SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing, and they find out that a highway will be built through Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob wants to stop this from happening because it will destroy the jellyfishes habitat and blah blah blah. You get the idea. SpongeBob tries to get more people to help, but no one but him and Patrick are willing. So, why didn’t they ask Sandy? I’ve sure she would have wanted to help. He tells Mr. Krabs about the new highway, and the two find out that the highway will go directly over the Krusty Krab and straight to the Chum Bucket. Yep, turns out Plankton is behind everything. So now we have to save the Krusty Krab, too? Whatever. SpongeBob and Krabs go to confront Plankton on this, but Plankton tells them that he doesn’t give a barnacle. Those are his exact words. Oh, you can bet I’ll be quoting that from now on. Krabs is ready to give up, but SpongeBob isn’t. He and Patrick protest the new highway to no avail. When it comes time for the highway to be built, SpongeBob tries to put himself in the way of the construction, but even that does nothing as Plankton is happy to run him over. With their home destroyed, the jellyfish overrun Bikini Bottom. Because of this, everyone in Bikini Bottom (OH, THERE YOU ARE, SANDY) helps get rid of the highway, thus saving Jellyfish Fields. And the Krusty Krab.

Okay, so, I’m not saying that the environment isn’t important or that kids shouldn’t be getting environmental messages like this, but do they have to get them this often? And do they always have to be presented in such a preachy way? Granted, SpongeBob’s Last Stand isn’t as preachy as most environmental episodes of other shows are, but it’s still pretty preachy. Or maybe I’m just tired of seeing morals like this because I’ve seen it done in tons of movies and shows already, so it’s very possible my irritation is just a bias.

The songs in this episode are awful. Actually, the first song they sing is okay, it’s not very memorable but it’s kind of fun. That “Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance” song, though? Awful. It’s obviously a parody of John Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance”, which, as a Lennon fan, I love the idea of. But all Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance is is a string of random words with a chorus that goes “All we are saying is give Jellyfish Fields a Chance”. Literally, it’s just a bunch of random, unrelated words in the verses and then that chorus. You think I’m kidding or exaggerating? I’m not. That’s what it is. Look it up and see for yourself.

The jokes in this episodes ranged from laugh-out-loud funny to facepalm-worthy. I laughed more than I facepalmed, though, so that’s a good thing. I also liked some of the darker imagery that was used, like when the Krusty Krab is desolate and empty after the highway was built, and when Bikini Bottom is overrun by jellyfish.

Overall, I’d say this episode is slightly below average, but it’s still watchable.

Rating: 4.5/10

After helping out Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, SpongeBob and Patrick are shown their room full of memorabilia, which includes their time machine. Even though they were told not to touch it, Patrick touches it, launching the four of them back in time. There, we see a younger and fitter Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fighting Manray who apparently doesn’t age because he always looks the same. Or maybe he’s just in really good shape. What’s his secret? Anyway, Patrick freaks out and drags SpongeBob back to the time machine, leaving Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy stuck in the past. That’s when Barnacle Boy has his best line ever: “Why haven’t we had those two classified as villains yet?” 10/10 I cried. SpongeBob and Patrick go back to the present, but it’s an alternate timeline where Manray has taken over Bikini Bottom and forced everyone to be his slaves (Squilliam makes a small appearance that literally lasts ten seconds and I still had a mini fangirl meltdown my God what is wrong with me?). SpongeBob goes to the Krusty Krab to find out if he still has a job in this alternate timeline, and there he finds Barnacle Boy working as a cashier. Well, I always did think he and Squidward were similar. They even look similar! Oh, and Mermaid Man is working as a fry cook. SpongeBob convinces MM and BB to go back in time again and defeat Manray. They do so, and in classic time-travel confusion, a bunch of different SpongeBobs and Patrick keep showing up to stop Manray. While Manray is confused, the younger Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are able to place him under arrest, saving the future.

I love time-travel and all of its weird rules and paradoxes, so when I found out what the plot of this episode was, I was really excited. It turned out pretty good, though not quite as good as I was hoping. Most of the jokes got a giggle out of me, but I would have liked to have spent more time in the alternate timeline where Manray has taken over Bikini Bottom. I think it had more potential and I would have liked to see it explored more. They probably could have stretched this one out a few more minutes and made it a special (it’s already pretty long for just a regular episode anyway), which would have allowed for more time to explore the alternate timeline.

I liked how cold and dark everything (including the inside of the Krusty Krab) looked in the alternate timeline. Did I ever mention that I love when this show uses darker animation/imagery? Because I do. When it’s done right, that is. Anyway, I liked the look of the Manray’s Bikini Bottom, and even the citizens looked appropriately downtrodden and tired. Everything in the alternate timeline had an cold, grim, unsettling feeling, it was really interesting, and it just makes me wish we’d gotten to spend more time in it.

Overall, this is a decent episode, but I don’t think it quite reached its full potential.

Rating: 6.5/10

SpongeBob and Patrick watch a tape of “the lost episode” of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. The episode is basically just what’s on the tape. A bunch of villains, which includes Manray and the Dirty Bubble (like I’m going to bother listing the rest), are meeting secretly. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy suspect that they’re up to no good, so they crash the meeting along with the Ponderer, Miss Appear, The Elastic Wasteband, and Professor Magma. Wait, what? Professor Magma? It’s Captain Magma, damn it! And where’s the Quickster? And why do their costumes look nothing like they do in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V? Am I seriously geeking-out over super heroes in a cartoon? Yes. Yes I am. Anyway, a fight ensues ending with the villains being caught. Apparently they were only having a book club meeting, so MM and BB can’t imprison them. That’s it.

This is kind of a neat idea for an episode. It’s different, at least. I can’t say I laughed at much, but it did keep me entertained and the fight was kind of cool. I also like the old-fashioned art style that was used for the lost episode, that was a nice touch.

I liked seeing some of the Super Acquaintances from Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (either it or part III are my favorite MM and BB episodes), that was a nice reference and I appreciated it. But, I’m sorry, I must bring this up again: why is Captain Magma called Professor Magma instead, why do they all look nothing like they did in MM and BB V and where is the Quickster? I know it’s a nitpick, but  it bugged me a lot.

Oh well, this is still a pretty fun episode, but I probably wouldn’t revisit it. Although I would like to join the villains’ book club.

Rating: 6/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 6 (Squid’s Visit/To Squarepants or Not to Squarepants)

SpongeBob invites Squidward over for a visit, and Squidward refuses the invitation. SpongeBob is desperate to have Squidward over for some reason, so he follows him around all day, crying and begging for him to visit. Dude, chill. Why do you want Squidward over so badly anyway? The next day, SpongeBob is about to invite Squidward over again when Squidward interrupts him, saying, “Before you ask me that question, ask yourself this: why would I want to leave the comfort of my home for your dirty little hovel?” This gives SpongeBob the idea to decorate his house exactly like Squidward’s. He “borrows” Squidward’s vacuum cleaner so that Squidward is forced to go over to SpongeBob’s to get it. When he walks in, he see that the inside of SpongeBob’s house now looks exactly like his own, down to the every minute detail. Squidward is extremely creepped out and just wants to get his vacuum cleaner and leave. SpongeBob won’t let Squidward leave and keeps trying to make Squidward comfortable in his home. Pretty sure this is how most horror movies start. Anyway, Squidward eventually makes it out of SpongeBob’s house with his vacuum cleaner only to discover that his house has burned down (he had left something in the oven before going to SpongeBob’s). SpongeBob tells Squidward that he’s welcome to stay at his house until Squidward’s is rebuilt.

Oh boy. This episode. I… I don’t even know what to say.

So, I’ve mentioned before that SpongeBob is weirdly stalker-like in a lot of post-movie episodes and it’s really creepy. This is the pinnacle of SpongeBob’s stalker-like behavior. Honestly, this episode is so creepy it’s kind of nauseating. Any moment I was expecting SpongeBob to say, “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.” I really don’t know why they thought this episode would be a good idea. Why are they turning SpongeBob into a psycho stalker? It’s bad enough that they made him as stupid as Patrick and ridiculously oblivious, now he’s Buffalo Bill?

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but SpongeBob is really creepy in this episode.

Creepiness aside, there were quite a few lines that made me laugh, so I can’t really bring myself dislike Squid’s Visit.

Rating: 6/10

SpongeBob shrinks his last pair of pants in the wash, and there won’t be another shipment of square pants coming to Bikini Bottom for months. In the meantime, SpongeBob buys a pair of round pants. Patrick and Sandy are unable to recognize him with round pants, and Squidward pretends not to recognize him either. This causes SpongeBob to have an identity crisis. Thinking that he needs to start his life over as SpongeBob RoundPants, he reapplies for a job at the Krusty Krab, which is unnecessary because Mr. Krabs can recognize him (so can Squidward, though he pretends otherwise). SpongeBob, pretending that this is all new to him, asks Squidward to show him the ropes. SpongeBob takes notes on everything that Squidward does at work and mimics him. Remember, SpongeBob, no employee wants to be a Squidward. Anyway, Mr. Krabs comes out to see what the two of them are up to. He scolds SpongeBob for not being a better employee, and tells SpongeBob to take off his round pants so that he can feel like himself again. SpongeBob does so, which probably means he’ll be walking around in his underpants until he can get more square pants? Whatever, he’s done weirder stuff than that.

The beginning of this episode annoyed me a little, I thought it was strange that Patrick and Sandy wouldn’t recognize SpongeBob without his square pants. I know square pants are a big part of SpongeBob’s identity, it’s even his last name, but those two have known SpongeBob for a long time. I’m not too surprised about Patrick not being able to recognize. I mean, it’s Patrick. Stupidity is his specialty. But Sandy is smart, how could she not have recognized SpongeBob?

I liked the second half of the episode, where SpongeBob is mimicking Squidward’s terrible work ethic and the two of them actually start to bond a little bit. Look, I like it when those two bond, okay? I’m kind of a sucker for it.

Rating: 6.5/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 5 (Whatever Happened to SpongeBob? [WhoBob WhatPants]/The Two Faces of Squidward/SpongeHenge)

Once again, a special and an episode pair.

SpongeBob gets all of his friends mad at him (he breaks Gary’s shell, ruins Patrick’s cake, interrupts Squidward’s sleep, destroys one of Sandy’s inventions and fries Mr. Krabs’ money) so he leaves town. He hits his head which causes him to develop amnesia and he ends up in New Kelp City. NKC is terrorized by a gang who hates bubbles and won’t allow anyone to blow them. Um, blow bubbles, I mean. Not… you know. Anyway, SpongeBob (who thinks his name is CheeseHead) runs the gang out of town and then is made mayor. Meanwhile, Sandy and Patrick discover that SpongeBob is missing. They tell Squidward and Mr. Krabs and the four come up with a plan to find him. Sandy invents a device that will track SpongeBob, but Squidward drops it smashes it with a hammer. In order to get Squidward to help at all, Mr. Krabs is forced to bribe Squidward with a jewel-encrusted egg, which Squidward wants for his collection… of eggs? I don’t know. So, Squidward, Sandy and Patrick look for SpongeBob and eventually find him in NKC. They bring SpongeBob back to the Krusty Krab but he still doesn’t remember who he is and wants to go back to NKC. Squidward gets his egg from Mr. Krabs and promptly drops it on SpongeBob’s head, which makes SpongeBob’s memories come back.

I only have one major problem with this episode.

I’ve made it clear over the course of these reviews that Squidward is my favorite character on the show and that I would totally be his best friend if I could he, Plankton and Krabs are starting to be the only main characters that I find consistently funny. However, there is a problem with the way his character has been presented post-movie that I never talked about much because it was relatively minor, but it really came to prominence in this episode. I always mention how SpongeBob has been annoyingly flanderized, but it should be noted that Squidward has become slightly flanderized too, though to a less annoying degree.

Squidward hates SpongeBob too much post-movie. I get that he finds SpongeBob annoying, but he’s also supposed to like SpongeBob deep down. This was shown in many pre-movie episodes, and he even said so in Fools in April and Graveyard Shift. Whatever Happened to SpongeBob? cranked Squidward’s hatred of SpongeBob up to 11. He doesn’t care at all that SpongeBob is missing and he even tries to sabotage their attempts at finding him. That doesn’t sit right with me. Remember how much Squidward missed SpongeBob in Squidville and in SB-129? Or how upset he was in Dying for Pie when he thought that he’d accidentally killed SpongeBob? It bothers me that Squidward didn’t have any fucks to give about SpongeBob’s disappearance in Whatever Happened to SpongeBob? until Mr. Krabs bribed him. Okay, fine, I did laugh when he smashed the tracking device with a hammer and then tried to say that he dropped it, but it still didn’t feel right. And it’s not just this episode. In The Original Fry Cook, Squidward’s treatment of SpongeBob was over-the-top mean, especially since SpongeBob was so visibly upset. In pre-movie episodes, Squidward felt bad about seeing SpongeBob so upset (Fools in April and Christmas Who?). In To Save a Squirrel, we actually see Squidward sticking pins into a voodoo doll of SpongeBob. Really.

The point is, Squidward’s hatred of SpongeBob is too extreme in this episode and in post-movie episodes in general.

While we’re on the subject of Squidward’s too-hateful attitude, I’d like to talk about something else that has been bothering me for a while but that I never really mentioned: Krabs (who is also becoming slightly flanderized) and Squidward seem to really hate each other post-movie. Like, really hate each other. With the exception of a few episodes, it seems like they’re always at each other’s throats. They’re constantly arguing and putting each other down. They have no respect for each other whatsoever. Um, I didn’t get the impression that their relationship was that bad in the days of pre-movie. The only pre-movie episodes I can think of where they argue is Can You Spare a Dime? and Squid on Strike. Other than that, they seemed to get along okay. Sure, Squidward was snarky with Krabs, but no more than he was with everyone else (in fact it seemed to be less than he was with everyone else), and Krabs seemed to like Squidward.

Writers, you’re doing great with Squidward’s sass factor. Don’t lose the sass, just make him a wee bit less hateful. Same goes with Krabs. Just… dial it down a bit, okay? Okay.

Anyway, for the most part, this episode is pretty unremarkable. The Squidward thing was really the only thing I had to say about this one.

Rating: 4.5/10

SpongeBob slams a door in Squidward’s face accidentally and Squidward is taken to a hospital. When the bandages are removed from Squidward’s face, it’s revealed that the accident has made him handsome. Everyone is Bikini Bottom (both men and women) fall in love with Squidward’s new face and he’s treated like a celebrity. At first, Squidward likes the attention, but then the Bikini Bottomites begin exhibiting stalker-like behavior, so Squidward tries to hide in the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs wants to charge everyone to touch Squidward (my mind just hopped right into the gutter). Squidward begs SpongeBob to slam the door in his face until it returns to normal. SpongeBob is reluctant to hurt Squidward on purpose, but he agrees and repeatedly slams the door on Squidward’s face (you can hear cracking sounds and it’s rather disturbing). All this does is make Squidward even more handsome… and then he crashes into a pole and his face is back to normal. The episode ends with the everyone leaving the Krusty Krab, disappointed, while Krabs keeps slamming the door in Squidward’s face to try and make him handsome again.

I’ve seen gifs, memes and fan art from this episode floating around the internet for years, mainly this:

And this:

Squidiam ftw!

Anyway, I’ve been curious about this episode for a while and was pretty excited to watch/review it. Now that I have seen it, I have this to say:

This episode is completely ridiculous and I absolutely love it.

Like Hocus Pocus and Goo Goo Gas, this episode is wacky, weird, and totally stupid, but it does wacky, weird and stupid well.

Squidward gets some great lines in this episode, my personal favorite being “Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it’s almost like the evolutionary clock ticks backwards”. Oh Squidward, never lose your sass. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are both hilarious in this episode as well. That bit where Squidward is flailing around before crashing into the pole (as shown in the gif above) cracks me up and I’m not entirely sure why.

It’s also nice that Squidward and SpongeBob seem to have a more or less platonic relationship in this episode. I know it probably won’t last, but that did please me.

There is an annoying filler scene before the doctor takes the bandages off Squidward’s face, but that doesn’t hurt the episode too much. The characters are great, the humor is great, the ending is great, it’s just a great episode.

Rating: 9/10

It’s a windy day in Bikini Bottom, and SpongeBob discovers that the wind makes music when it blows through the holes in his body. The music attracts jellyfish and they start to interfere with SpongeBob’s life. SpongeBob is forced to hide in a cave until the wind stops so the jellyfish will leave him alone, but the wind doesn’t seem likely to stop any time soon. SpongeBob makes a bunch of statues of himself that also make music to distract the jellyfish.

This episode reminds me of Jellyfish Jam. Except that Jellyfish Jam was decent while this episode is really boring and bland. I can barely remember a thing about this episode and I just watched it.

This probably would have made a cute short, but there just isn’t enough to this story for a full episode.

Rating: 2/10

Only one episode pair left to review for Season 5!